Connecting4Success Advice Guru Virtual Training 2011

1. Connecting4SuccessAdvice Guru Virtual Training 2011 Module 2

2. Overview- Module 2 • Effective Interpersonal Communication • Attention skills • Listening skills • Self Assessment • Empathetic understanding • Interchangeable responses

3. Introduction • To be an excellent Advice Guru, you must learn and demonstrate appropriate attending skills, active listening techniques, empathy, and interchangeable responses • Advice Guru’s must remain nonjudgmental and genuinelyenjoy assisting their mentee with his/her transition to university • In order to develop and establish a helping relationship high levels of trust, respect and warmth are necessary

4. “About 70 percent of an average person’s waking hours are spent communicating.” WISC-Online

5. Attention Skills • Physical Attention • Your body should be communicating nonverbally that you are really interested in what your mentee is saying • E.g. sitting down, good eye contact, providing supportive expressions of warmth and caring • You should not be displaying behaviors that may be distracting to the person seeking help • E.g. no fidgeting, distracting movements, don’t use your cell phone, or make judgmental facial expressions

6. Attention Skills • Psychological Attention • Focusing on the whole person (E.g. feelings, thoughts, intentions), while being attentive • Trying to enter the other persons world, seeing and experiencing the world as they do

7. Listening Skills • As an Advice Guru, listening skills are critical • Common Problems/ Barriers in Listening • Environmental distractions • Cell phones, noise, temperature, odors, other people talking • Pride • Don’t take over the conversation. By doing so your mentee may think that you have nothing to learn from them. • Close mindedness • Don’t assume that you have all the right answers • Keep an open mind for effective listening

8. Listening Skills • Thought Speed • The human mind can process a lot of information in a short period of time • Don’t jump to conclusions • Avoid letting your mind stray while you are meeting with your mentee • Defensiveness • Defending is a primal response to feeling attacked, threatened, misunderstood or disrespected • Don’t view comments and criticisms as a personal attack

9. Active Listening Skills: Self Assessment http://www.mhhe.com/business/management/buildyourmanagementskills/updated_flash/topic13b/quiz.html If you cannot click on the link, please copy and paste the link into your browser. Please click the following link to complete the Self Assessment:

10. What were your results? What was your score on the self-assessment? What are some of your listening strengths? What are some of your listening weaknesses? How do you plan on improving upon your weaknesses?Hint: You may see these questions again on the Module 2 Quiz

11. Empathic Understanding • Empathy is a critical dimension to interpersonal communication • Empathy is the capability understand another being’s emotions and feelings (Wikipedia, 2011). • Putting yourself in your mentee’s shoes • Empathy is not sympathy • In other words, you can understand why someone feels the way they do, but you don’t necessarily have to: • A. Feel the same • B. Think the same…in order to have empathy with them

12. Interchangeable Responses • How do you demonstrate that you are listening intently and understanding the problem you are hearing? • Interchangeable Responses • Paraphrase what your mentee has told you • Mentee: “I can’t believe the time I wasted this morning. Dr. Jones and I had an appointment to discuss my winter class schedule and I waited an hour and he never showed up. This is the second time he has done this to me”Appropriate interchangeable response… • Mentor: “It seems that you’re really annoyed because Dr. Jones failed to show for your advising appointment. Being the second time this has happened makes it even more irritating to you”. • This interchangeable response captures both the context and feelings expressed by the student and allows the student to continue to self explore the problem.

13. Congratulations! You have almost completed Module 2.Now it’s time to take the quiz! If the first link doesn’t work, try the other link. http://app.fluidsurveys.com/surveys/danielle-w/module-2-quiz-1/ http://app.fluidsurveys.com/surveys/danielle-w/module-2-quiz-2/ If you cannot click on the link, please copy and paste the link into your browser.

14. References • McShane, S. (2000). Active listening skills self assessment. McGraw Hill. Retrieved from: http://www.mhhe.com/business/management/buildyourmanagementskills/updated_flash/topic13b/quiz.html • lifetofullest.com. (2011). 5 effective listening barriers. Retrieved from: http://lifetofullest.com/effective-listening-barriers/ • mowgli=mentoring. 2009. Exploring empathy in mentoring. Retrieved from: http://mowgli.org.uk/913/exploring-empathy-in-mentoring.html” • Ender, S., Newton, F. (2000). Students helping students. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Publishers.