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Building Relationships That Work: Embracing Diversity

Building Relationships That Work: Embracing Diversity. What does it take. Relationships take a certain amount of risk They are what we make them How do we find them? Feedback is the key to adjusting. Dimensions of a relationship. Inclusion- the behavioral need to socialize

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Building Relationships That Work: Embracing Diversity

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  1. Building Relationships That Work: Embracing Diversity

  2. What does it take • Relationships take a certain amount of risk • They are what we make them • How do we find them? • Feedback is the key to adjusting

  3. Dimensions of a relationship • Inclusion- the behavioral need to socialize • Significance- the need to feel worthwhile and meaningful • Control- the behavioral need to influence • Competence- the need to feel strong, intelligent, and capable • Openness- the behavioral need to share one’s inner thoughts and feelings • Likeability- the need to feel one is good, attractive, and likeable

  4. Interpersonal style • What is it? • Self-contained vs. Open • Indirect vs. direct • As such, people need to be treated differently

  5. Director-Thinker-Socializer- Relater • The Director: Self-contained and Direct • The Thinker: Self-contained and Indirect • The Socializer: Open and Direct • The Relater: Open and Indirect • Which are you?

  6. Factors at Work in Relationships • Our secret fears (Self-Consciousness) • Examples • Faulty assumptions and beliefs • Thoughts=Feelings=Behavior=Trouble • Double Blinds • The corner we think ourselves into

  7. EffectiveCommunication: Some rules • Listen!!!! Empathize “Listening Check” ENUF model • Make “I” statements “I believe”, “I want”, “I hope” • Be Clear and specific Include details

  8. Rules con’t • Be reasonable and realistic (listen to yourself) “Words are behaviors that live on in the mind’s of others” • Accentuate the positive Send positive worth messages • Respect different viewpoints Respecting vs. Agreeing

  9. Rules Con’t • Learn to disagree without being destructive or trying to “win” Cost is way too high • Be willing to discuss significant issues If you don’t, you’re just passing time • Don’t use unfair or dirty tactics The ol’ hit and run

  10. Rules finished • Accept all feelings and try to understand them It is your right to feel the way to do, and visa versa • Learn to express your feelings without tearing the other person down How? • Don’t preach, lecture, hide, disguise, nag, yell, or whine

  11. Tools for change • Awareness • Brings to your attention the toxic messages that hold you back from relationships • Antidotes • The messages you use to counteract the toxic massages • Alignment • Creating alliances with other people who can help you change just be being who they are

  12. Diversity and Building Relationships • Limiting your life • Our thoughts and feelings are often created by the assumptions we make • The Value of Diversity • Research • Great Resource! www.pbs.org/race/004_HumanDiversity/004_00-home.htm

  13. Developing Diverse Relationships • Take Reasonable risk • Changing your behavior will lead to a change in emotions • Use Feedback • How is the other person reacting to you? • Take Responsibility • Puts you in charge

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