where s the manual for recess helping children and teens manage unstructured time

1. Where’s The ManualFor Recess?Helping Children and Teens Manage Unstructured Time Presented by : Dominique Baudry, MS.ED dominique@socialskillgroupwork.com Jahna Pahl, MA info@growingsocialskills.com

2. What do kids need in order to be successful? We must think about this in order for us to understand where to help the child who struggles. To understand why kids fail, we must first understand why they succeed.What do kids need in order to be successful? We must think about this in order for us to understand where to help the child who struggles. To understand why kids fail, we must first understand why they succeed.

3. Structured Vs Unstructured Time Recess, time before and after school, time before and after any structured activity ( art class, team practice)Recess, time before and after school, time before and after any structured activity ( art class, team practice)

4. Elementary School Many transitions Many children Recess is unstructured Games are competitive

5. What does unstructured time look like in Elementary School? Recess Before and After School Before and after activities (sports practices) Cooperative Learning Groups Independent Work Time

6. Two Directions for the Child Who Struggles The Agitator Impulsive – acts without thinking about the consequences Joins groups in a controlling or destructive manner Tends to be bossy when playing with others The Isolator Is overwhelmed in large groups Tends to stay on the periphery of the playground Plays by himself/herself

7. The Agitator at Recess Tends to overreact when the outcome is different from what was expected. Struggles with: winning and losing adapting to changes in rules or direction of play going with the flow of the group

8. The Agitator at Recess Often joins games inappropriately Does not pick up on social cues of how their actions are making others feel Does not make necessary adjustments to behaviors based on social cues Tends to be highly anxious kids desperate to be part of the group and fearful of rejection Tends to be highly anxious kids desperate to be part of the group and fearful of rejection

9. Helping the Agitator at Recess Teach Expected/Unexpected Behaviors when winning and losing How does it make others feel when you…….? When people feel _____towards you, how do they treat you? How does that make you feel? Cue kids where to look to think about how others are feeling about their behavior

10. Helping the Agitator at Recess What do you do if someone adds to your idea? What do you do if someone changes part of your idea? Big Problem or Little Problem?

11. The Isolated Kid at Recess Has difficulty figuring out what’s happening in imaginative play Has difficulty initiating Does not enjoy novelty

12. Helping the Isolated Child What are the other kids doing? How do you figure out what game others are playing? What’s the difference between playing with someone and next to someone? Let’s make a plan. Plan B Birthday parties, play dates, family reunionsBirthday parties, play dates, family reunions

13. Unstructured Time in the Classroom Teach Expected and Unexpected Behaviors Give kids a way to monitor themselves Be realistic about how long kids can work successfully in an unstructured setting Allow kids to take a break The more complex the environment, the more importance is placed on self discipline!

14. Expected and Unexpected Behaviors

15. Working Independently What does it look like if you are on task? How do you learn to monitor yourself? What should you do if you’re stuck? Knowing what to do is not the same thing as doing what you know!

16. Teaching Kids to Self Monitor This is what I should be doing This is what I should NOT be doing

17. Independent Work Time Rubric

18. Welcome to Middle School Social Changes: Huge separation/individuation from parents Significance of the peer group increases exponentially; more central to child’s identity than family Peer acceptance and self-acceptance intertwine Peers are most critical, least patient and least forgiving

19. Welcome to Middle School Additional Social Changes: Kids must figure out the unwritten social code in each environment Friendship goes cyber (electronic “friending” systems) Cliques Bullies

20. What does unstructured timelook like now? Play revolves around sports, not imagination More conversation, less play Conversations are often continued online Up to 70% of peer contact outside of school occurs electronically

21. To manage unstructured time with peers, the student must be able to: Initiate social interaction and join a group Think about, express interest in others Compromise, adapt to change Value the connection more than the content Discern motive and intention Know when to jump into a conversation and when to butt out

22. How do we help manage unstructured time? Structure the unstructured time! Providing your child with a group of kids who like to do the same thing increases the likelihood that your child will become part of a group Afterschool clubs Organized peer activities Scouts Youth leadership groups Sports

23. Building Peer Groups Find other kids who have similar interests Look beyond the child’s grade Add activities at lunch or free time to engage the isolated or rejected child By invitation With facilitation

24. Supporting the Middle Schooler Social learning groups How to initiate/sustain a conversation How do you figure out what people are feeling? Reading a room Figuring out people’s plans Facilitated, constructive peer feedback has tremendous impact

25. Helping the child who doesn’t read social cues Remove language Cue kids as to what they need to pay attention to Practice delivering and reading emotional content in a message Reality shows, movies, YouTube clips

26. Cliques to worry about Membership is hierarchical, exclusive, tentative and fear-based Group dynamic, as opposed to the dynamic between two individuals Cliques are at their worst in Middle School Allure for non-members is the perceived peer acceptance and self-acceptance/confidence enjoyed by clique members

27. Worrisome Cliques, continued Kids are keenly aware of whether or not they: have their own group feel they are a part of something The antidote: Ensure our students belong to a group of their own in school and/or outside of school. Exclusive cliques hold less allure for kids who feel connected to other kids.

28. Bullies Bullying is about demonstrating the bully’s “power” to an audience Bullies can be very socially sophisticated The non-sophisticated kid is a prime target for the bully because they misinterpret the bully’s motives and intentions Technology is the bully’s new weapon

29. Coping with Bullies Kids have to be able to identify a bully Help your kid process the bullying interaction Set a standard for what is acceptable treatment Help kids understand what behaviors attract bullies Kids who are targets either overreact or get walked all over

30. Thank You for Coming Dominique Baudry (415) 379-9361 www.socialskillgroupwork.com Jahna Pahl (415) 831-3200 www.growingsocialskills.com