Early friendships

1. Early friendships • Mildred Parten (1932)—one of the first researchers to study peer sociability among 2-5 year-olds • Social development occurs in a 3-step process (Parten) • Nonsocial activity • Parallel play • True social interaction (associative and cooperative play)

2. Nonsocial activity • Unoccupied, onlooker behavior • Solitary play • Basically, children don’t interact with each other at this stage. • Declines with age, but it’s still the most frequent form of activity among 3-4 years olds and accounts for 1/3 of kindergarteners’ free play time.

3. Parallel play • A child plays near other children with similar materials but does not try to influence their behavior. • Often found among 3-6-year-olds.

4. True social interaction • Associative play—children engage in separate activities but exchange toys and comment on one another’s behavior. • Cooperative play—more advanced type of interaction in which children orient toward a common goal, such as playing make-believe.

5. Longitudinal data on play styles • A longitudinal study by Howes & Matheson, 1992, followed up on Parten’s research. • Later-appearing play styles don’t replace the earlier ones; all types coexist in early childhood. • The type, not the amount of solitary and parallel play changes in early childhood. • Within each play type, older children display more cognitively mature behavior than younger children.

6. Are “loners” abnormal? • Preschoolers who watch peers without playing are usually “temperamentally inhibited,” or high in social fearfulness. • Preschoolers who engage in solitary, repetitive behavior (banging blocks, making a doll jump up and down) tend to be immature, impulsive kids who have a hard time controlling anger and aggression. • Most preschoolers with low rates of peer interaction are NOT socially anxious; they simply like to play by themselves.

7. Gender differences • Boys who like to play quietly by themselves are generally rebuffed by peers and get negative reactions from parents. • They are at risk for adjustment problems. • Negative reactions probably stem from inconsistent gender-role expectations

8. First friendships • Ages 4-7: children regard friendship as pleasurable play and sharing of toys, but friendship doesn’t yet have a long-term, enduring quality based on mutual trust. • Preschoolers give a lot more praise, encouragement, and greetings to children they identify as friends than they do to other children; also receive more from them.

9. More traits of early friendships • Friends are also more emotionally expressive and laugh and talk more than nonfriends. • Early childhood friendships offer social support. • Children who begin kindergarten with friends in their class or the ability to make friends readily adjust to school better.

10. How do parents influence early friendships? • Direct influence: parents arrange play dates and “guide behavior” (help manage conflicts). Associated with more socially skilled behavior and peer acceptance in children. • Indirect influence: Secure attachments to parents are linked to more peaceful peer interaction, larger peer networks, and warmer & more supportive friendships during the preschool and school years. • Mothers’ play is strongly linked to daughters’ social competence; fathers’ play linked to sons’.

11. Peer acceptance • How well a child is liked, or how he or she is viewed by a group of agemates. • Researchers assess this using “sociometric” techniques such as asking children to name their best friends and who they especially like or dislike. • These studies showed that there are 5 categories of peer acceptance, known as “peer status.”

12. Peer statuses • Popular children—frequently nominated as best friend; rarely disliked by peers • Average children—average number of both positive and negative nominations from peers • Neglected children—infrequently nominated as best friend but rarely disliked by peers • Rejected children—infrequently nominated as best friend; actively disliked by peers • Controversial children—frequently nominated both as someone’s best friend and as being disliked

13. Popular children • Good social skills • Give out praise and reinforcement to other children and listen carefully to others • Happy, enthusiastic, self-confident without being arrogant • Control their negative emotions well • Act like themselves

14. Neglected children • Low rates of interactions with peers • Often described as shy • Not nearly as bad as being rejected

15. Rejected children • Often have serious adjustment problems • Less likely to engage in classroom participation, more likely to want to avoid school, and more likely to report being lonely.

16. Rejection and aggression • An especially bad mix • 7-year longitudinal study of 5th grade boys showed that the best predictor of whether boys would drop out of school or become delinquent was amount of aggression showed toward peers in elementary school. • Aggression underlies rejection about half the time; another 10-20%, rejected kids are just shy. • Social skills training can help a lot.

17. Gender and Peer Relations • Children prefer to spend time with members of their own sex by age 3. • Preference for same-sex play increases from ages 4-12. • From about 5 years on, boys tend to associate in larger cluster than girls do. Girls play in groups of 2-3. • Boys are more likely to participated in organized group games and rough-and-tumble games. • The more time girls spend playing with other girls, the lower their aggression & activity level; opposite for boys.

18. Importance of similarity • People are attracted to others who are similar to them. True for both friendships and romantic relationship. • Similarity is important in friendship development in childhood; similarity in age, sex, race, educational aspirations, attitudes toward school, interests.

19. Peer Groups • A group of people who generate unique values and standards of behavior and a social structure oe leaders and followers • Organize on the basis of proximity (nearness) and similarity. • Leads to a “peer culture” that consists of a special vocabulary, dress code, and place to “hang out.” • Children who are “cast out” of the peer group suffer in self-esteem.

20. How peer groups and friendships differ • Friendships are more exclusive and limited than peer groups. • Friendships contribute to the development of trust and sensitivity. • Preschoolers say they have lots of friends, but by age 8 or 9, children say they have only a handful of “good friends.” • Girls demand greater closeness than boys and are more exclusive in their friendships. • Friendships remain fairly stable over middle childhood, lasting at least several years.

21. Friendship during Adolescence • Need for intimacy intensifies during early adolescence; friendships become crucial. • Teens with superficial friendships or none at all report feeling lonelier, more depressed, and have lower self-esteem. • Intimacy is the most important feature of adolescent friendships, especially for girls. • Boys’ friendships are less intimate and more geared toward power or excitement.