Building Relationships of Trust R. Blair Condie, AAVP BYU Human Resource Services

1. Building Relationships of TrustR. Blair Condie, AAVPBYU Human Resource Services BYU Controllers’ Retreat, Oct. 22, 2002

2. TRUST: Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.

3. Why are trusting relationships so important in the workplace?

4. 85% of problems in the workplace are due to interpersonal problems, rather than lack of technical skill.

5. Connecting “The connections we make are what pull us through hard times and give meaning to the good. Simply put, we need one another. We need connections that matter, connections that are heartfelt. We need to connect--or reconnect--to our friends, our families, our neighbors, ourcommunities. We also need to connect--or reconnect---to our pasts, our traditions, and our ideals.” Edward M. Hallowell, M. D., Connect, 1999

6. Human Moments “A human moment occurs anytime two or more people are together, paying attention to one another. These connections are the key to what counts in life, from a happy family to a successful business to a sense of inner peace, even to physical health and longevity.” Edward M. Hallowell, M. D., Connect, 1999

7. “We are not here necessarily to run computers. All of those things are simply ancillary to the great mission we have of teaching the gospel to every nation, kindred tongue and people and bearing witness of the divinity of the restoration of His Church in the dispensation of the fullness of the times.” President Gordon B. Hinckley, Insights & Perspectives, March 1996 .

8. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Daniel Goleman, Working with Emotional Intelligence, 1998

9. Emotional Competence Results in Outstanding Performance at WorkDaniel Goleman, Working with Emotional Intelligence, 1998

10. Emotional Competence For star performance in all jobs, in every field, emotional competence is twice as important as purely cognitive abilities. Daniel Goleman, Working with Emotional Intelligence, 1998

11. THREE MOST DESIRED CAPABILITIES OFEMPLOYEES: • Communication Skills • Interpersonal Skills • Initiative Daniel Goleman, Working with Emotional Intelligence, 1998

12. Good Communicators: • Are effective in give-and-take, registering emotional cues in attuning their message • Deal with difficult issues straightforwardly • Listen well, seek mutual understanding, and welcome sharing of information fully • Foster open communication and stay receptive to bad news as well as good Daniel Goleman, Working with Emotional Intelligence, 1998

13. Interpersonal Skills The most effective people in organizations naturally use their emotional radar to sense how others are reacting, and they fine-tune their own response to push the interaction in the best direction. Daniel Goleman, Working with Emotional Intelligence, 1998

14. Initiative Those with initiative act before being forced to by external events. Those who lack initiative constantly react to events rather than being prepared for them. Daniel Goleman, Working with Emotional Intelligence, 1998

15. What’s Below the Waterline Makes the Difference in Performance! Necessary for top performance, but not sufficient Technical Competencies: Easier to identify and develop Skills (e.g., presentation delivery) Knowledge (e.g., MS-Excel) Social Role (e.g., Leader) Self-Concept (e.g., I am a Team Player) Traits (e.g., Analytical Thinking) Motives (e.g., Drive to Achieve) Underlying behaviors of characteristics more critical to “fit,” satisfaction and success Behavioral Competencies: Harder to identify and develop “Promoting the Power and Potential of People.” Sinclair Community College. Dayton, OH. CUPA Conference, 2002.

16. Star Performers and the Nine Work Strategies Robert E. Kelley, How to Be a Star at Work-9 Breakthrough Strategies You Need to Succeed, 1999

17. Organizational Savvy Followership Networking* Core Initiative* Cognitive Abilities Technical Competence Team- Work Leader-ship Self-Management Perspective* Robert E. Kelley, How to Be a Star at Work- 9 Breakthrough Strategies You Need to Succeed, 1999 Show-and-Tell

18. Initiative • Manage the “white space.” Seek out responsibility above and beyond the expected job description. • Undertake extra efforts for the benefit of coworkers or the larger group. • Follow-through to completion (don’t delegate to the boss). Robert E. Kelley, How to Be a Star at Work-9 Breakthrough Strategies You Need to Succeed, 1999

19. Initiative Many Work Hard but in the Wrong Ways Robert E. Kelley, How to Be a Star at Work-9 Breakthrough Strategies You Need to Succeed, 1999

20. Perspective For too many people, ten years of work experience is merely the first year’s experience repeated ten times; there is no learning to move in and out of the basic environment, no leap to the perspective ability that defines expertise. Robert E. Kelley, How to Be a Star at Work-9 Breakthrough Strategies You Need to Succeed, 1999

21. Perspective You need to learn 50,000 pieces of information to be come an expert Robert E. Kelley, How to Be a Star at Work-9 Breakthrough Strategies You Need to Succeed, 1999

22. Perspective • Seek out learning experiences that push your limits of knowledge • Make sure you learn from it by internalizing patterns and forms Robert E. Kelley, How to Be a Star at Work-9 Breakthrough Strategies You Need to Succeed, 1999

23. Networking Networking can have dramatic impact on the speed, quality, and quantity of your output. Robert E. Kelley, How to Be a Star at Work-9 Breakthrough Strategies You Need to Succeed, 1999

24. Networking Build a knowledge network—a relationship tree of many different kinds of people representing many different skills and interests. Robert E. Kelley, How to Be a Star at Work-9 Breakthrough Strategies You Need to Succeed, 1999

25. The Bonds That Make Us FreeC. Terry Warner

26. “Two Ways of Being” We all have a sense of the “two ways of being” and the differences between them… C. Terry Warner, The Bonds That Make Us Free

27. I-It Worried about self Scarcity-minded Resents others’ success Insecure Sees others as rivals Controlling I-You Interested in others Abundance-minded Delights in others’ success Secure, peaceful Sees others as friends Trusting Two Ways of Being…I-It and I-You C. Terry Warner, The Bonds That Make Us Free

28. I-It Manipulative Concerned with quantity Selfish Lonely Reactive Guarded I-You Sincere Concerned with quality Sharing Supportive Solicitous Open Two Ways of Being…I-It and I-You C. Terry Warner, The Bonds That Make Us Free

29. I-It Anxious Suspicious Fearful Rigid Self-centered Defensive I-You Assured Trusting Serene Flexible Other-centered Accommodating Two Ways of Being…I-It and I-You C. Terry Warner, The Bonds That Make Us Free

30. Self-Betrayal C. Terry Warner, The Bonds That Make Us Free

31. “The following chart illustrates the perfect correlation between various commonplace accusations that self-betrayers make and the resulting sense they have of being victimized:” C. Terry Warner, The Bonds That Make Us Free

32. Sense of Being Victimized Accusing Judgment “It’s your fault” “I’m suffering because of you” “I’m getting cheated” “You’re not being fair” “We were prevented from meeting our production quotas” “Our suppliers are unreliable” “The instructions weren’t clear” “You made me foul up the job” “Now my whole career is going to pot” “You insisted on having this kid” C. Terry Warner, The Bonds That Make Us Free

33. CHANGE AND HOW WE REACT

34. Effects of Change • …At the individual level, change can engender emotions and reactions that range from optimism to fear, anxiety, challenge, resistance, ambiguity, energy, enthusiasm, helplessness, dread, motivation, and pessimism. • http://www.microsoft.com/technet/Analpln/manorg.asp

35. “Everything that can be invented has been invented” Charles Duell, 1899, Director, U.S. Patent Office

36. “Who…wants to hear actors talk?” Harry M. Warner, 1927, Warner Brothers

37. “Heavier than air flying machines are impossible” Lord Kelvin, 1895, President, Royal Society

38. Change • “Change is fundamentally about feeling: companies that want their workers to contribute with their heads and hearts have to accept that emotions are essential to the new management style .” • Jeanie Daniel Duck, Managing Change, The Art of Balance, • (Harvard Business Review on Change)

39. “To Improve Is to Change; To Be Perfect Is to Change Often” ~Winston Churchill

40. Change • “…The issue isn’t whether or not people have “negative” emotions [about change]; it’s how they deal with them.” • Jeanie Daniel Duck, Managing Change, The Art of Balance, (Harvard Business Review on Change)

41. Communication and Change • “Communication comes in both words and deeds, and the latter are often the most powerful form. Nothing undermines change more than behavior by important individuals that is inconsistent with their words.” • John P. Kotter, Leading Change--Why Transformation Efforts Fail, HBR, Mar-Apr 1995

42. “We hope that you are happy in your work. We hope that yours is more than just a job, that it partakes of the spirit of the call, and that you come to work every day with a desire to build the kingdom and move forward the work of the Lord. That is why we are here.” -President Gordon B Hinckley

43. Final Thought- Attitude

44. Charles Swindoll, Strengthening Your Grip “I believe the single, most significant decision I can make on a day to day basis, is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my bankroll, my successes or failures, fame or pain, what other people think of me or say about me, my circumstances, or my position. Attitude is that “Single String” that keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitudes are right, there’s no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me.”

45. THANK YOU! BYU Human Resource Services