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1. PARENT FORUM NIGHTSchool Cliques:The REAL Survivor Series THE GMS PTO and Cheryl Curry, GMS Counselor, invite you to join us for a workshop and discussion on school clique culture among boys and girls, its make-up, pitfalls, and strategies for helping students survive the “social jungle.”
WHEN: Tuesday evening, Jan 14th
Registration at 6:30 p.m.,
program at 7:00 p.m.
WHERE: Geneva Middle School
Choir Room
3. SCHOOL CLIQUES THE REAL
SURVIVOR SERIES!
Presented by
Cheryl Curry, M.S.Ed.
Professional School Counselor
4. WHAT IS A CLIQUE? AN EXCLUSIVE GROUP
5. CHARACTERISTICS OF CLIQUES Usually form between ages 10 & 15
Stem from an overwhelming desire to fit in
Revolve around interests w/ friends and peers
Deal in social power
Not everyone is welcome
excluding becomes the primary activity
6. CHARACTERISTICSCONTINUED… Peers serve as a panel of judges who define each other based on identifiable traits (clothing, music, activities, inside jokes, rituals)
Formed around 1 or 2 leaders
Have strict rules
Feed off a super-sensitivity to criticism and a need to belong
7. TYPES OF CLIQUES
8. THE POPULARS “I’M ALWAYS WORRIED”
35% of population
Beautiful, athletic, charming, affluent
Set the tone for the entire class
9. THE POPULARS Have the most friends – exclusive
Socialize earlier than others both in and out of school
Appear to have cornered the market on fun
Have prestige (via romances, scholastic achievements, athletic exploits) from teachers and classmates
10. THE FRINGERS “WHERE’S MY SELF RESPECT?”
10% of population
Hoverers
Mimic the dress and the rules
Believe that ˝ a loaf is better than none
Welcome temporary inclusion
11. MIDDLE FRIENDSHIP CIRCLES “I’M FREE AND CONTENT”
45% of population
Non-exclusive
Small groups of several friends apiece
Tend to feel most content
12. MIDDLE FRIENDSHIP CIRCLES Assorted measures of confidence and satisfaction
Can be labeled into subcategories
Nearly all surveyed felt resentment or even contempt for the popular group
Time Magazine categorized them and labeled them “unpopular”
14. SCHOOL CLIQUES THE REAL
SURVIVOR SERIES!
Presented by
Cheryl Curry, M.S.Ed.
Professional School Counselor
15. WHAT IS A CLIQUE? AN EXCLUSIVE GROUP
16. CHARACTERISTICS OF CLIQUES Usually form between ages 10 & 15
Stem from an overwhelming desire to fit in
Revolve around interests w/ friends and peers
Deal in social power
Not everyone is welcome
excluding becomes the primary activity
17. CHARACTERISTICSCONTINUED… Peers serve as a panel of judges who define each other based on identifiable traits (clothing, music, activities, inside jokes, rituals)
Formed around 1 or 2 leaders
Have strict rules
Feed off a super-sensitivity to criticism and a need to belong
18. TYPES OF CLIQUES
19. THE POPULARS “I’M ALWAYS WORRIED”
35% of population
Beautiful, athletic, charming, affluent
Set the tone for the entire class
20. MIDDLE FRIENDSHIP CIRCLES Assorted measures of confidence and satisfaction
Can be labeled into subcategories
Nearly all surveyed felt resentment or even contempt for the popular group
Time Magazine categorized them and labeled them “unpopular”
21. THE LONERS “I’M MAD AND I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.”
10% of population
No friends
Social hermits
Envious
Susceptible to adolescent depression, drug abuse, violent subcultures
Often have hidden talent with time to hone that talent
22. “BULLY CHIC” THE DARK SIDE OF CLIQUES
23. CLIQUE BULLIES… Occupy the power center of the group
Manipulate cliques as a means to bully
Are supported by media images
24. FEMALE BULLIES Taught that “nice” is preferable
Therefore, honesty and straight talk is avoided
Use friendships as their weapon of choice
Scapegoat, backstab, belittle, spread rumors, fights, sexually harass, exclude
25. THE POPULARS Have the most friends – exclusive
Socialize earlier than others both in and out of school
Appear to have cornered the market on fun
Have prestige (via romances, scholastic achievements, athletic exploits) from teachers and classmates
26. THE FRINGERS “WHERE’S MY SELF RESPECT?”
10% of population
Hoverers
Mimic the dress and the rules
Believe that ˝ a loaf is better than none
Welcome temporary inclusion
27. MIDDLE FRIENDSHIP CIRCLES “I’M FREE AND CONTENT”
45% of population
Non-exclusive
Small groups of several friends apiece
Tend to feel most content
28. MIDDLE FRIENDSHIP CIRCLES Assorted measures of confidence and satisfaction
Can be labeled into subcategories
Nearly all surveyed felt resentment or even contempt for the popular group
Time Magazine categorized them and labeled them “unpopular”
30. SCHOOL CLIQUES THE REAL
SURVIVOR SERIES!
Presented by
Cheryl Curry, M.S.Ed.
Professional School Counselor
31. WHAT IS A CLIQUE? AN EXCLUSIVE GROUP
32. CHARACTERISTICS OF CLIQUES Usually form between ages 10 & 15
Stem from an overwhelming desire to fit in
Revolve around interests w/ friends and peers
Deal in social power
Not everyone is welcome
excluding becomes the primary activity
33. CHARACTERISTICSCONTINUED… Peers serve as a panel of judges who define each other based on identifiable traits (clothing, music, activities, inside jokes, rituals)
Formed around 1 or 2 leaders
Have strict rules
Feed off a super-sensitivity to criticism and a need to belong
34. TYPES OF CLIQUES
35. THE POPULARS “I’M ALWAYS WORRIED”
35% of population
Beautiful, athletic, charming, affluent
Set the tone for the entire class
36. MIDDLE FRIENDSHIP CIRCLES Assorted measures of confidence and satisfaction
Can be labeled into subcategories
Nearly all surveyed felt resentment or even contempt for the popular group
Time Magazine categorized them and labeled them “unpopular”
37. FEMALE BULLIES Taught that “nice” is preferable
Therefore, honesty and straight talk is avoided
Use friendships as their weapon of choice
Scapegoat, backstab, belittle, spread rumors, fights, sexually harass, exclude
38. MALE BULLIES Use less emotion and more action
Broadcast strengths
Spread rumors
Fight
Use weapons
Deliberate humiliations
Sexual harassment
39. MEDIA IMAGES “She’s All That”
“Bring It On”
“Popular”
“The In-Crowd”
“Beverly Hills 90210”
40. MEDIA IMAGES “The Breakfast Club”
“10 Things I Hate About You”
“American Pie”
Coverage of the Oscars
People Magazine’s Most Beautiful People
Fashion Magazines
41. BELIEF SYSTEMS BEING TEASED IS SOMETIMES BETTER THAN BEING IGNORED
THE BIGGEST BULLIES ARE IN THE POPULAR CROWD, SO THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT
CLOTHES AND LOOKS MATTER
POPULAR DOES NOT EQUAL NICE
42. THE VICTIMS PASSIVE VICTIM
“I don’t know how
to fight back.”
PROVACATIVE VICTIM
“People think I deserve it.”
ONE-DIMENSIONAL VICTIM
“If only I wasn’t …”
43. MIDDLE SCHOOLERS’ CRITERIA FOR BEING POPULAR… BOYS…
1. Athleticism
2. Stature
3. Sense of humor
GIRLS
1. Looks
2. Clothes
3. Vivacious or bubbly personality
44. HOW WE CAN HELP Diagram the cafeteria
Play “whatever happened to…”
Have students identify the clique leaders
Have students explain criteria for admission
Identify emotions and their triggers
Video and bibliotherapy
Write a recipe for how to starve a bully
45. HOW WE CAN HELP Role playing
Humor
Confounding the bully
Positive self-talk
Make the bully look stupid
Help them conform in safe ways
46. HOW WE CAN HELP Give them precise vocabulary to define moments of humiliation (theft, libel, etc.)
Encourage the silent majority to speak up
Teach tolerance
Mentoring programs
Avoid overprotecting—it sends the message “you are incompetent”
Form a school club (circle of friends, natural helpers, the respect club, the peace place)
47. HOW WE CAN HELP Recruit the parents
Survey the size of the problem
Use performance drama
Ask the librarian to use the display area
Provide curriculum ideas to tie into lessons
Invite the children to speak in groups
48. HOW WE CAN HELP Lunch bag notes such as tips for practicing social skills or idea cards
Help them distinguish between social acceptance and personal acceptance
Identify other areas where belonging exists (family, home life, bedroom) and use them to balance the need for belonging and personal acceptance
49. HOW WE CAN HELP Gather info., empathize, then use it to empower the child (e.g.: what excellent powers of observation you have!)
Process the child’s belief system