Mai’s Journal

1. Mai’s Journal

2. Entry One Today was, with no doubt, one of the most shocking days of my life so far. It had all started normally, just a day like no other, except for the fact that Heather had just ran off with Bobby to somewhere that I am yet to find out about. However, it turned out that Heather and Bobby were the least of my troubles. In the afternoon, I decided to confront my grandmother about America. Something that I had been wanting to do for weeks now. I had already planned out my big speech about trust and honesty, when I suddenly noticed that grandma had stopped moving. I have to admit, that that moment was the moment my heart nearly stopped. I yelled for Uncle Ger to come, and in what seemed like seconds, grandma was sent to the hospital. Now, I am being told that she is in “Critical Condition”. I hope to both the gods, and this foreign god, Jesus, that she is going to get better.

3. Entry Two Well, the good news for today is that grandma is starting to take a turn for the better! Uncle Ger tells me that she should make a recovery soon, and we will have our grandma back! I really do hope the day that she returns comes soon, though, because I really do miss grandma. Deep inside, even though her actions sometimes anger me, I love her with all my heart. I finally even convinced Aunt Pa Khu to send a Shaman to my grandmother’s bedside to perform the sacred healing rituals. I know that my grandma would neglect the western medicine, so a Shaman would calm her down. Tomorrow, I have a schedule to meet her. I am so anxious! Will she be the same? After seeing her, lying still on the ground with her chest not moving, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to see grandma the same way again, but all that is for tomorrow, and I will wait until tomorrow to find the answer to my questions.

4. Entry Three Today, seeing grandma sitting up in her hospital bed, slightly weak, yet smiling and talking, was the best sight that I have ever seen in a long, long time. She tells me that she feels a lot better, and thanks me for the Shaman. I knew it was the right thing to do. The doctors can now confidently tell me that she is going to recover, and for the first time, I can too. Hopefully, tomorrow, grandma will once more be reunited with our family, and soon, so can Heather.

5. Entry Four I just do not understand. All my life, my grandmother and I have been praising the gods of the ancestral kingdom. Loving them, worshiping them, glorifying them. This is how they pay us back? With the death of my most loved one? Yes. Grandmother has passed away today. No one could have foretold it. Not even the Shaman himself. She was supposed to have been better! However, something must have happened, because she has departed this world. What will we do? The guilt bites at me like the wretched threadworm. Why didn’t I stay with my grandmother? She died alone, in a foreign hospital bed. Without a soul to comfort her. How will she reach the ancestral kingdom? How will her soul find peace? So I pray, once more, to the gods. Any god out there, that my grandmother will find peace.

6. Entry Five Well, if I thought that the death of my grandmother was bad, getting over the death of my grandmother was worse. Hour after hour, minute after minute, I was constantly reminded of the fact that my grandma, whom had loved and taken care of me for all the years that my parents weren’t there for, had died and left me almost alone in this huge world. Even though there still is Uncle Ger and Aunt Pa Khu to take care of me, in a way I still feel like my life will never truly be the same without grandma. She was always there for me, but I still wish thatsheisactuallyhere to see me grow up. On the other hand, though, for the first time, I finallyfeel free. No one to restrain, holdme back, or keep me fromdoingwhat I want to do. Maybethisis a saddeningday, or itcouldbe a moment of opportunity.