Presented at the Academy of LDS Dentists Spouse Conference

1. Making the World A Better Place for Families:The Power of Oneby Lynn D. WardleBruce C. Hafen Professor of LawJ.Reuben Clark Law SchoolBrigham Young University Presented at the Academy of LDS Dentists Spouse Conference Friday, August 13, 2010 Brigham Young University Conference Center, Provo, UT

2. Six Main Points: 1) We live in challenging, dangerous times for families but also times of great opportunities. 2) Foundations matter; when Marriage and Marital Families Disintegrate, Society and Individuals Suffer. 3)Laws defining and social values regulating families have a profound impact to shape the environment. 4) 10 points for discussion of same-sex marriage. 5) The power of one is formidable; we must be actively engaged in protecting the family in our laws and communities, states and nation, and teaching our children to do so. 6) We must stand up and speak up with charity & clarity.

3. Caveat We all have family and/or friends who have same-sex attraction. We love them and want to protect them and their rights. Moral concerns are very relevant to legal policy. Distinguish behavior from person, sin from sinner. Because behavior immoral not mean necessarily deny legal rights, licenses. But specific morality relevant to specific legal rights, licenses. Must respect honestly, respect enough to disagree, respect to engage in full, honest discussion of policy issues.

4. I. The Best of Times, the Worst of Times:Recent Developments in Families and Family Law “It was the best of times it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us we had nothing before us . . . .” Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities (1859).

5. The Worst of Times: The disintegration of the family, generally. In the United States of America, “rates of sexually transmitted diseases, abortion, and divorce are the highest in the western world . . . .” More than one-half of all American couples cohabit before their first marriages. Over 40% of all births in the USA are to unwed mothers.Nearly one-fourth of all known pregnancies in the US end in abortion, and one-third of all American women reportedly have had or will have an abortion. While two-thirds of all American marriages last at least ten years, only one-half of American marriages last twenty years. The threat to the institution of marriage and marital families in particular. (Historically, the public policy controversy concerning the legal definition of marriage is the defining social issue for this generation of Americans.)

6. The Movement to Legalize Same-Sex Unions in the USA Legal Status – 1 August 2010 1. Acceptance of Same-Sex Unions in the USA (50 states + DC): Same-Sex Marriage Recognized: Five (5) USA States (+ D.C.): Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, and New Hampshire (& D.C. ) Same-Sex Unions Equivalent to Marriage Recognized in Five (5) US States: California, Nevada, New Jersey, Oregon and Washington

7. The Movement to Legalize Same-Sex Unions in the World Legal Status – 1 August 2010 2. Acceptance of Same-Sex Unions in the World ( o/o 192 Nations / UN): Same-Sex Marriage Allowed in Ten (10) Nations: The Netherlands, Belgium, Canada, Spain, South Africa, Norway, Sweden, Iceland, Portugal, Iceland & Argentina Allowed in some parts: Mexico (Mexico City), US (5 states) Same-Sex Unions Equivalent to Marriage Allowed in Eleven Other (11) Nations: Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Luxembourg, Slovenia, South Africa, Andorra, Switzerland, UK, New Zealand

8. The Best of Times: External conditions (freedom, health, longevity, education, employment, wealth/income) have never been better. The Human Rights protection of marriage and the marital family.

9. U.S. Response: Rejection of Same-Sex Marriage Legal Status 1 July 2010 1. Rejection of SSM in the USA:  Same-Sex Marriage Prohibited by State Constitutional Amendment in Thirty (30) States (60%): AK, AL, AR, AZ, CA, CO, FL, GA, HI, ID, KY, KS, LA MI, MS, MO, MN, NB, NV, ND, OH, OK, OR, SC, SD, TN, TX, UT, VI, & WI (+ ME SSM law ‘people’s veto’) Same-Sex Civil Unions Equivalent to Marriage Recognition Prohibited by State Constitutional Amendment in Nineteen (19) USA States (38%): AL, AR, FL, GA, ID, KS, KY, LA, MI, NB, ND, OH, OK, SC, SD, TX, UT, VI, WI)

10. Global Response: Rejection of Same-Sex Marriage Legal Status 1 July 2010 2. Rejection of SSM Globally: One Hundred Forty-five (145) Nations have Constitutional Provisions Protecting “Family,” and Eighty-five (85) Nations Have Substantive Constitutional Provisions Protecting “Marriage” One Hundred Eighty-five (183) Nations Do Not Allow Same-sex marriage, and One Hundred Sixty-six (171) Nations Do Not Allow Any Same-sex marriage-Like Unions Thirty-seven (37) of 192 Sovereign Nations (19%) Have Constitutional Provisions Explicitly or Implicitly Defining Marriage as Union of Man and Woman: Armenia (art. 32), Azerbaijan (art. 34), Belarus (art. 32), Brazil (art. 226), Bulgaria (art. 46), Burkina Faso (art. 23), Cambodia (art. 45), Cameroon (art. 16), China (art. 49), Columbia (art. 42), Cuba (art. 43), Ecuador (art. 33), Eritrea (art. 22), Ethiopia (art. 34), Gambia (art. 27), Honduras (art. 112), Japan (art. 24), Latvia (art. 110 - Dec. 2005), Lithuania (art. 31), Malawi (art. 22), Moldova (art. 48), Montenegro (art. 71), Namibia (art. 14), Namibia (art. 14), Nicaragua (art. 72), Paraguay (arts. 49, 51, 52), Peru (art. 5), Poland (art. 18), Serbia (art. 62), Somalia (art. 2.7), Suriname (art. 35), Swaziland Constitution (art. 27), Tajiksistan (art. 33), Turkmenistan (art. 25), Uganda (art. 31), Ukraine (ark. 51), Venezuela (art. 77), Vietnam (art. 64). See also Mongolia (art. 16), Hong Kong Bill of Rights of 1991 (art. 19).

11. II. Foundations Matter: When Marriage and Marital Families Disintegrate, Society and Individuals Suffer. Marriage is the foundation of the substructure of society. Family is the infrastructure of society. Marital families create social-capital. We derive our “root paradigms” from marital families.

12. The Parable of the Houses Built Upon Rock and Sand Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.    And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it. -Matthew 7:24-27 (KJV)

17. President Gordon B. Hinckley declared: “A nation will rise no higher than the strength of its homes. If you want to reform a nation, you begin with families . . . .” Pope John Paul II famously said: “As the family goes, so goes the nation, and so goes the whole world in which we live.” “A breakdown of marriage and the family will eventually have devastating consequences on these larger social institutions.” John Witte

18. Elder Neal A. Maxwell warned: • “As parenting declines, the need for policing increases. There will always be a shortage of police if there is a shortage of effective parents! Likewise, there will not be enough prisons if there are not enough good homes. . . . • “. . . How can we value the family without valuing parenting? And how can we value parenting if we do not value marriage? . . . .” (Neal A. Maxwell, Ensign, May 1994, at 89-90).

19. A study by a Business School professor published in 2008 by the Institute for American Values and the Institute for Marriage and Public Policy reports that the public costs – costs to American taxpayers -- of family marital break-up and of non-marital child-bearing (CBOW) in the United States, total at least $112 billion each year for American taxpayers, $70 Billion federal tax dollars and $42 Billion state and local tax dollars each year. That is approximately equivalent to the cost each year of the war in Iraq & now Afghanistan.

20. III. Laws and Social Values Matter and Influence Our Families: There are Pre-Conditions for liberty and gospel living. Example – 1787 had to come before 1820. The U.S. Constitution does not work well in countries without the foundations/pre-conditions. Brigham Young and the PEF.

21. Erosion of civil rights for persons and institutions of faith, including religious liberty, follows in the wake of the movement for same-sex marriage, as shown by numerous examples: Adoption Private Photographers Wedding hall Education – public schools, private colleges, curriculum and personnel, rights of parents Free speech (California ‘Krystalnacht’) Franchise (Perry v. Schwarzenegger)

22. In January 2010 the Ministry of Education in Ontario, Canada (where same-sex marriage is legal) revealed its new Health and Physical Education curriculum for grades 1 to 8 • Students begin to explore “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” in grade 3, as part of an expectation to appreciate “invisible differences” in others.  A desired response has the eight-year-old student recognizing that “some [families] have two mothers or two fathers.” • In grade 5, a student is expected to recognize that “things I cannot control include ... personal characteristics such as ... my gender identity [and] sexual orientation.” • [Sixth graders learn] “that masturbation ‘is common and is not harmful and is one way of learning about your body,’” and], a grade 6 student response suggests . . . that students use the word “partner” rather than “husband” or “wife” to avoid the assumption that all couples are of opposite sexes. • Grade 7s are expected to be taught about “using condoms consistently if and when a person becomes sexually active.”  A response from the twelve-year-old states that “People who think they will be having sex sometime soon should keep a condom with them so they will have it when they need it.”  . . . • In grade 8, the use of contraception is a key component of the curriculum, and [a] grade 8 student response states it is important to have “all gender identities and sexual orientations portrayed positively in the media, in literature, and in materials we use at school.”

23. IV. Ten Principles to Consider in Discussing Same-Sex Marriage Issues: • It’s About Marriage. • Marriage Is A Very Important Social Institution • To Legalize Same-Sex Marriage Will Radically Change the Institution of Marriage • We seek to Protect Civil Rights • Legalizing Same-Sex Marriage Harms All of Society, All Marriages, All Families

24. Marriage is the Only Social Institution Linking Parents to the Biological Children; Links Responsible Sex, Responsible Procreation with Responsible Parenting. • There is no funda hu right to same-sex marriage. • Equality Principles Do Not Support Same-Sex Marriage but Support Dual-Gender Marriage. • Tolerance & Respect Do Not Support Same-Sex Marriage • The “Capture” of Marriage by Redefining Marriage has been Repudiated Since Racial Eugenics Capture & Redefinition of Marriage Overturned in Loving.

25. Ideas About Marriage Matter! 1) Example: US anti-miscegenation laws. Racial Eugenics movement “captured” marriage by redefining marriage (prohibiting inter-racial marriage) in order to promote their movement of White Supremacy. 2) Today, the movement to legalize same-sex marriage is using the same tactic – seeking to “capture” marriage by redefining marriage (to allow same-sex marriage) in order to promote their movement of Sexual Liberty. Core ideas about family matter for our system of family laws.

26. V. We must use “the power of one” in three ways. • (1) First, one individual can make a profound, crucial difference • Examples: • Vermont • Nevada

27. (2) “The power of one” also includes the power of being one with others, of being united with other persons who share your values, your principles • Cardinal George at BYU in February 2010 • “Shoulder to shoulder, that's where we ought to be.” • “We cannot effect a turnaround in a day or a month or a year. But with enough effort, we can begin a turnaround within a generation, and accomplish wonders within two generations – a period of time that is not very long in the history of humanity.” (Hinckley, Standing at 145 or 167)nd commitments

28. (3) Finally, the power of one include the power of becoming one with The One, with Jesus Christ • “It is important for leaders to learn to speak out in a way that is persuasive without being heavy-handed or offensive.” (Hinckley, Standing at 167)

29. VI. Conclusion: We must “stand for something” –stand up for marriage and the family • Be “actively engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness[.]” (D&C 58:27)

30. “The time has come for good people everywhere to demonstrate that they stand for something – something that is virtuous and clean and worthwhile.” Gordon B. Hinckley, Standing for Something 178 (2000) " Latter-day Saints . . . have no choice but to stand up and to speak up whenever the institution of the family is concerned, even if we are misunderstood, resented, or brushed aside.” (Neal A. Maxwell, "'Take Especial Care of Your Family,'" Ensign, May1994, at89.)

31. “You are good. But it is not enough just to be good. You must be good for something. You must contribute good to the world. The world must be a better place for your presence. And the good that is in you must be spread to others. … • “In this world so filled with problems, so constantly threatened by dark and evil challenges, you can and must rise above mediocrity, above indifference. You can become involved and speak with a strong voice for that which is right” -Gordon B. Hinckley, Brigham Young University Devotional, Marriott Center, 17 Sept. 1996

32. The final sentence of the Proclamation on the Family reads: “We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.”

33. “What we desperately need today on all fronts . . . are leaders, men and women who are willing to stand for something. We need people . . . who are willing to stand up for decency, truth, integrity, morality, and law and order . . . even when it is unpopular to do so – perhaps especially when it is unpopular to do so.” • “The problem with most of us is that we are afraid to stand up for what we believe, to be witnesses for what is true and right. We want to do the right thing, but we are troubled by fears. So we sit back, and the world drifts about us . . . .” Gordon B. Hinckley, Id. at 167-168

34. “It is important for leaders to learn to speak out in a way that is persuasive without being heavy-handed or offensive.” (Hinckley, Standing at 167)

35. Thank You!