The Dissidents

1. The Dissidents Meetings of The Dissidents Volume 1, Issue 1 We get together weekly for debates/discussion on many different topics. Everyone is welcome. FEAR Contact the group by e-mail at:thedissidents@juno.comfor details on this week’s meeting location and possible topics. We have been meeting Friday nights. “No Passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear” - Edmund Burke back cover

2. My Monsters They are cute but do not be deceived - they are violent, bloodthirsty creatures. There is a monster in my closet. No there’s not. But there is. I don’t want to open the door now; I’m not ready. I’ll just lay here piss all over myself because I’m afraid to get up. So I’ll wait, he’ll go away right? Part of me wants to go to that closet, tear it open and challenge his right to be in this world. What if I fail? What if the shadow only laughs and I falter, only to be engulfed by the beast. Listen; hear it comes again. The soft, hoarse snarl’s from behind the door, sickle claws scratching at the wooden frame too weak to get out. Not yet but it grows stronger. I tell myself to go and end it before it does get out, while it’s still weak. What if I lose? Perhaps the creature hopes to deceive me into believing I am the stronger and I go, only into the rending claws. I am terrified; the wetness starts to creep down my inner thigh, my eyes cloud. Why won’t the night be over? So it may sleep once again. The beast is excited; it senses my fear, my helplessness. Its ragged breath quickens, and then scratching ceases. I listen. Petrified. I don’t want this to be the night, I moan proclaiming my despair. Continued on page ** This is what they can do to a man. And here is a soul that got off easy. Do not panic, it is all right Arnold has everything under control down there in old Cal. I urge you though to donate blood for as you can see we are not dealing with ordinary gerbils. The casualties will be high but in the end as Arnold always says, “They will be terminated.” The earth the horizon and the heavens inc. is not responsible for the loss of memory, cardiac arrests, pulmonary ruptures, miscarriages, fatalities due to the loss of blood, missing appendages, or your homework. By reading and processing this and accept all terms associated with our product and all claims, accusations, and court cases are illegitimate. Page 1 Page 100

3. What is there to be Afraid Of? Just a -cide note Who’s heard this before: “If my God is for me, who can be against me?” You may be thinking that you haven’t – well that’s fine. Allow me to tell my view of fear. I’d say the biblical view of fear, but I haven’t memorized the thing, of course. I will, though, briefly run through what the Bible says, and I believe, we should and should not fear. First, let’s examine one of the phrases that is repeated very often throughout the entire text. This is, “Fear the Lord your God,” or something similar. Taken bluntly, we, according to the Bible, should be outright afraid of and intimidated by God. We ought to recognize that God is all-powerful and therefore could ruin our lives in an instant if we but displease him. Our God is often described as Love or a loving God, but he is also described as jealous, wrathful, and many other things. But we should take this a bit further. If we truly, honestly feared the Almighty, we would consider that each one of our actions, even thoughts, should be centered on pleasing him, lest his wrath turn on us. “The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor.” Proverbs 15:33. Continued on page ** In closure we would just like to notify you that we have just received information that giant man - eating gerbils are flooding towards Hong Kong. Expert rodent specialists have described these aggressive menaces as being in around 16 to 20 inches. This hoard of mammals has decimated the environments that they have rolled over; in there relentless conquest for the center of the Asian world. Researchers also warn that once the rodents wash over Hong Kong their next “plan of action” would to be fiord the Pacific Ocean by hijacking fishing vessels. They then deducted that an amphibious landing on the southern coast of California was certain. Arnold has already assembled a coalition of DNR and Marine corps officials. Their strategy for combating this assault has not been released to the press. However, a number of Marine companies were observed sun bathing and they were not wearing sunscreen. Page 2 99

4. Got Hippopotomonstroses-quippedaliophobia ? (some funny phobias) The problem with most drugs, is that none of these “diseases” are fully understood.  They say it is an imbalance of neurotransmitters, but adding, or taking away, may make the symptoms worse.  The only proven consistent technique is electric shock therapy.  Talking to the person is probably the best way to clear things up.  Sudden behavior changes often are signals of distress, which could result in suicide.  Interactions between people are a series of physical signals, vocal signals, and pheromones, which will change the thinking process and the cycling of neuro-pathways.  This will start more communication, and so on.  These interactions are stored within the memory parts of the brain, but also change the emotional centers, affecting the way your body functions. All brain and psychological disorders are simply chemical imbalances, whether it is voluntary or not. We simply cannot function without the right stuff to run our bodies. All that remains a mystery is the little stuff and the big stuff. Which chemicals do what, and what is thinking itself as a whole? When it comes down to it the body is very adaptable, and can overcome anything.  It is clear that the cortex has control over the emotions in some cases, but rather the other way around in others.  It depends a lot on who you are, for this cannot be expressed in any way, but vocal communication (talking, singing, writing).  The brain is still very mysterious, and most of this is still theory, but maybe someday we will understand the way we work, and perhaps even improve upon it.        - Ted (thedissidents@juno.com) Anablephobia- Fear of looking up Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth - Arachibutyrophobia Barophobia- Fear of gravity Fear of colors - Chromatophobia Chronophobia- Fear of time Fear of objects at the right side of the body – Dextrophobia Didaskaleinophobia- Fear of school Fear of freedom - Eleutherophobia Epistemophobia- Fear of knowledge Fear of laughter - Geliophobia Geniophobia- Fear of chins Fear of being infested with worms - Helmintophobia Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words Fear of sitting down - Kathisophobia- Logophobia- Fear of words Fear of everything - Panophobia Papyrophobia- Fear of paper Fear of bald people - Peladophobia Phobophobia- Fear of fear Fear of thinking - Phronemophobia Sitophobia- Fear of food Fear of learning - Sophophobia 3 98

5. Beautiful women- Caligynephobia. Bums or beggars- Hobophobia. Chickens- Alektorophobia. Crucifix, the or crosses- Staurophobia. Decisions: making decisions- Decidophobia. Doctrine, challenges to or radical deviation from official- Heresyphobia or Hereiophobia. Gods or religion- Theophobia. Greek or Greek culture- Hellophobia. Greek terms- Hellenologophobia. Harmed by wicked persons; bad men or burglars- Scelerophobia. Heaven- Ouranophobia or Uranophobia. Hell- Hadephobia, Stygiophobia or Stigiophobia. Holy things- Hagiophobia. Homosexuality or of becoming homosexual- Homophobia. Ignored, being- Athazagoraphobia. Jealousy- Zelophobia. Jews- Judeophobia. Kissing- Philemaphobia or Philematophobia. Love, sexual love- Erotophobia. Love play- Malaxophobia or Sarmassophobia. Love, falling or being in- Philophobia. Men- Androphobia or Arrhenphobia or Hominophobia. Menstruation- Menophobia. Mother-in-law- Pentheraphobia. Myths or stories or false statements- Mythophobia. Names or hearing a certain name- Onomatophobia. News: hearing good news- Euphobia. Odor, personal- Bromidrosiphobia, Bromidrophobia, Osmophobia or Osphresiophobia. Old people- Gerontophobia. Opinions- Allodoxaphobia. Opinions, expressing- Doxophobia. norepinephrin.  All of these neurotransmitters are responsible for emotions, eating, sleeping, and thinking to some extent.  So if you have an imbalance of these neurotransmitters from some traumatic event, certain signals may have no effect.  In other words, if you are depressed, you may not feel hungry, you may not sleep well, you may be sexually inadequate, and you may have trouble thinking.  In addition to this, when there are too many or not enough of these neurotransmitters, the hypothalamus is affected for some reason, so that it’s metabolism shrinks.  This further damages the process, and the imbalances will be greater.  The signal is basically short-circuited, so that only the depressive things have control over your emotions.  This is why depression often leads to suicide.  One will become obsessed with the problem and eventually a very rash action may be forced into action.  Obsession is the first step to insanity. One could say that depression is derived out of fear. Something goes wrong and you assume it will never improve. What to fear is fear itself, for it is the cause of this misery. Don’t get me wrong, fear on a small level will save your life, but as aforesaid, obsession and fear don’t mix. You will go insane. Fear forces change along your neuro-pathways and it will “teach” you to do things better next time. It may also stifle your responses.  Manic Depression (bipolar) is slightly different.  In manic-depressives, there is a larger role with adrenaline.  Bipolar as you may or may not know has two effects that are constantly fighting each other.  At first the person may seem depressed, and down.  Often angry or confused, the person is not very nice.  However within a few days this person will suddenly cheer up, so much so that they will feel like they are on top of the world.  They will feel invincible, or in other words manic.  Manic depression can be just as dangerous or even worse than major depression.  These mood swings eventually lead to suicide, or hallucinations.  A matter of fact, it has been seen (not proven) that manic depression leads to schizophrenia.  ADD is also closely tied to Bipolar, except on the other end of the scale, it is nowhere near as severe, but could lead to bipolar. 97 4

6. Philosophy- Philsosphobia. Phobias- Phobophobia. Phobic prefering fearful situations- Counterphobia. Pleasure, feeling- Hedonophobia. Politicians- Politicophobia. Pope- Papaphobia. Praise, receiving- doxophobia. Priests or sacred things- Hierophobia. Prostitutes or venereal disease- Cypridophobia, Cypriphobia, Cyprianophobia, or Cyprinophobia. Rape- Virginitiphobia. Religion or gods- Theophobia. Religious ceremonies- Teleophobia. Ridiculed, being- Catagelophobia or Katagelophobia. Satan- Satanophobia. Self, personal odor- Bromidrosiphobia or Bromidrophobia. Self, that one has a vile odor- Autodysomophobia. Semen- Spermatophobia or Spermophobia. Sermons- Homilophobia. Sex, opposite- Heterophobia or Sexophobia. Sexual intercourse- Coitophobia. Sexual love or sexual questions- Erotophobia. Sin or of having committted an unpardonable sin- Enosiophobia or Enissophobia. Sin- Hamartophobia. Social (fear of being evaluated negatively in social situations)- Social Phobia. Teenagers- Ephebiphobia. Water- Hydrophobia. Women- Gynephobia or Gynophobia. Words- Logophobia or Verbophobia. Based on what is turned on in the Amygdala and Hippocampus, different things will happen in theHypothalamus.  The Hypothalamus controls most of your emotions, reactions, and hormones.  The hypothalamus is directly responsible for controlling your pituitary gland (endocrine system).  The endocrine system is the system responsible for releasing hormones.  They serve many functions similar to neurotransmitters, but throughout the entire body.  They turn different proteins on in each different cell.  That means just about everything you do is controlled by hormones.  The hormones are controlled by the Pituitary, which is controlled by the hypothalamus, which is controlled by either the emotions, or the cortex. Pheromones can cause changes in the amount of neurotransmitters in the brain.  Pheromones and drugs fit into proteins within the brain.  They help out in brain function in some ways, but harm it in others.  The body in response will stop making the original chemicals which were there and one will become addicted to whatever that particular thing is.  It is the same with food too, although that is supposed to happen with food.  Drugs and pheromones will change the thinking process, and the neural pathways in the brain, usually in an undesirable way, yet once in the system you will be dependant upon them. The cortex is the most important part of the brain for humans.  The cortex controls speech, reading, writing, thinking, singing, and most of our other functions which are more complicated than most other animals are capable of.  When a signal goes through the brain, it will affect every part of the brain that is currently active.  Learning is the way new neural pathways are opened up.  The more of these neural pathways there are available the smarter you will probably be.  The more you use that part of the brain the better the signal will get through.  So if you talk a lot, you will be good at talking, if you eat a lot you will be good at eating, and if you play sports a lot you will be good at that. Depression (major) is a signal that goes through, and turns off the right parts of the brain so that only certain neural pathways are open.  Depression is linked with serotonin, melatonin, epinephrine (adrenaline), and 5 96

7. Continued from page 2 • Consider this verse (before reading my comments afterwards): • “I tell you my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. But I will show you whom you should fear: fear him who, after killing the body, has power to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him.” • These are the words of Jesus Christ, found in Luke, verses • 12:4-5. Who is Jesus referring to? Most would think Satan, Lucifer, Beelzebub, the devil (all are names for the fallen angel, the ruler of hell) because hell is mentioned. But I am telling you that Jesus means God the Father. God is all-powerful. One must not even fear the tempter, who controls the hearts of so many men. To be a Christian, you must fear God and God alone. • The main reason for fearing God alone was stated in the first • line of this editorial. If the Almighty being is on my side - because I am on his side - what have I to fear? The psalmist summed up this point pretty well. Reflect on the following: • “The Lord is my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear? • The Lord is the stronghold of my life- • of whom shall I be afraid? • When evil men against me to devour my flesh, • When my enemies and my foes attack me, • they will stumble and fall. • Though an army besiege me, • My heart will not fear; • Though war break out against me, • Even then I will be confident.” Psalm 27:1-3 • Warning: This is complex scientific information and very boring. • I once researched the human brain and the way in which it functions.  Messages are relayed from the senses into the central nervous system and the brain.  They are both electrical and chemical messages. Well, the electrical part is chemical too since it is just electrolytes, or ions in the neuron that transmit the electricity.  It is electrical within each neuron, but when it reaches the end of the single cell, it is stuck.  It cannot go any further.  This gap between neurons is called the synapse.  So in order for the message to get through to the brain, proteins are needed.  These chemical messengers are also called neurotransmitters.      Now these signals go first to the thalamus where they are relayed to the appropriate parts of the brain.  The brain itself is basically a series of circuits.  These circuits are created whenever we learn something, and destroyed without practice or remembrance.  So whenever one thinks, it is simply a cycling of electrical and chemical signals in the brain.  Each chemical or electrical signal can not only cycle throughout every part of the brain, but also turn on or off different emotions, functions, and responses in each part.  When a traumatic stimulus occurs to a person (or animal), a signal is sent to the brain.  It goes first to the thalamus where it is relayed, but then it will travel to the emotional center of the brain where the Amygdala, Hippocampus, Hypothalamus, and endocrine system are centered.  The Amygdala and Hippocampus are where emotions are.  As the signals go through they may turn on or off this or that in the hippocampus and also in the Amygdala. Fear is located primarily in the Amygdala.  Think of it this way.  You have a circle, which is your message, and then in the various proteins in each neuron within the brain you have triangles, squares, and circles.  So this circle goes through and activates the circle enzymes.  Okay, but it can also fit into the square, so it will turn it on too.  It can’t fit into the triangle so it is left alone. 6 95

8. This is your brain, and this is your brain on fear… In the words of Solomon of Proverbs: “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” Proverbs 29:25. Isaiah, a prophet of God, said something similar. Consider: “Hear me, you who know what is right, you people who have my law in your hearts: Do not fear the reproach of men or be terrified by their insults. For the moth will eat them up like a garment; the worm will devour them like wool. But my righteousness will last forever, my salvation through all generations.” Isaiah 51:7-8. Paraphrased by my understanding: Christians, true Christians: don’t fear reproach or insult of others. They will not receive everlasting life, but death – no better than old clothes decaying and ceasing to exist. God and his covenants with us will last forever. One more passage – bear with me, those of you who do not accept the truth of the Bible. “God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:16b-18. In other words, the one who loves God and trusts him will have complete trust and no fear on the day of his earthly death (day of judgment). Now, for anyone reading who is reading who is maybe Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, or atheist, let me ask you a question. What is the opposite of fear? Some would say confidence, some “Something's wrong with his medulla oblongata.”

9. recklessness, others ignorance. I would say that the opposite of fear is assurance and hope – together. What hope do you have? Most of you believe that to be saved from death or torment your must follow a set of guidelines perfectly. Whether it’s the Torah, Koran, or whatever – you must be perfect to have any hope. Atheists, you apparently think existence ends with one’s death on earth – so life is short for you. What if all you had to do to live for eternity in complete happiness was to accept that you aren’t perfect, but there once was a perfect man – just one. Also, that that one perfect man who deserved God’s absolute favor, went through the most agonizing of deaths so that God would forgive Man’s sins – your shortcomings and mistakes. I offer this and an assurance of what awaits you at death to you for the mere price of your belief in Jesus Christ as Savior of the world and your promise to fear God. -Jereme Proudman (comments or questions?, e-mail me at: thedissidents@juno.com)

10. The impact is tremendous, for a moment we form a line in midair, merge become one, feet trading places with the torsos intertwined in a struggle for rule. We hit the floor both stunned. Veins still coursing with rage I hurl my body onto the fiend and grip each outer head with both my hands to cut off life from them. Sinking my teeth into the middle neck I hold the beast in a death grip.The demon shrieks and writhes sinking its needle claws into my sides attempting to pry me off. It tastes vile, the skin of the beast on my lips slimy, slick, and viscous. It’s flesh in my mouth, sour, like spoiled milk, useless and repressing. The outer heads have ceased to struggle; only the middle remains. My teeth are not long enough to find its life. • Suddenly I feel something curl about my neck and • tighten, suffocating me. I refuse to let go though; I’m taking this b**** with me. Black dots appear in my vision everything starts to blur. Its tail is doing its work I have lost, but I might as well hold on. In a last surge of strength the beast hurls me from its body, there is a rip of flesh, and as I hit the wall and sink down, I realize as my vision clears, that dangling from my slack mouth hangs a windpipe or a large vein of sorts. Whatever it was the creature definitely needs it for it lies twitching before me, blood welding up from the heads mouth. • I spit the foul entrails out. A wave of relief washes over • me, it is over. I turn around to look out into my room from the door, as I gaze, a morning ray of sunlight creeps across my floor. • Written, produced, conceived, and lived by: Vincent Nowaczewski – (thedissidents@juno.com) Continued from page1 The scrape of clawed footsteps on the floor followed by an impact of the beast’s weight on my door silences me. For a second my eyes lay fixed upon the door, my bowels release, for a moment the center of the door bows out towards me, fibers straining. It is ready to spill its contents into my room to feed on my flesh, my now soiled flesh. The force from this blow is such that as the door contracts, the dust from inside the vault shoots the dust from the seams of the door. Oh and now I can smell it! The fiend the smell of decay, of waste, “It’s been in there a long time” a hissing voice in my head tells me, “and it’s hungry, it needs to feed, it feeds on flesh, flesh that is marinated with fear”. “Its going to get you, you poor sonavab****” “STOP IT!!” I scream pitifully, I receive no response but the new rapid, sharp intakes of breath from the beast that desires to consume me. It’s laughing at me. The demon knows I’m his. It knows the stench of fear, it lives off of it, and it will not be easily deterred. As the laughter dies away, I lay in bed numb, panicked. Explanations, reasons excuses dart through my mind as to why I won’t face it. I don’t want to die; it’s not my time yet God. I call to the devil in his God’s name, to pull back his minion, but my demands are weak, I can’t conceive of god in this dark place. The void consumes me, cuts me off from the Almighty’s aid. What if God wants me to die, he’s punishing me, but why? What the hell did I do? I don’t deserve to lie in my own sh** while some kind of demon awaits the taste of my flesh. “D***’T WHY WON’T YOU DO SOMETHING MOTHER F***ER”. I wait my breath fast and ragged, waiting for deliverance. I receive only silence, broken at intervals by activity in the closet, Panic starts climbing up my spine, a flame is ignited in my gut. My head is blurring mixing things up I start to whine and berate. “COME ON YOU ARROGANT BASTARD, YOU SIT ON YOUR HIGH F***ING THRONE AND WON’T EVEN SHIFT AN A** CHEEK TO HELP ME! HELLO MOTHER F***ER, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU MAN!!? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH? OH I GET IT YOU CLOWN; I’M EXPENDEBLE, THAT’S IT”. I trail off into faint whimpers as the sound of gnashing teeth heightens.

11. I have to stop it; my mind can’t take it much longer. My • mind is already broken, God isn’t here, he won’t help, and I am utterly alone in this. Through a great effort I rise from my fifth that, despite the smell makes me feel secure. The hard wood floor is cold to my bare feet as I swing down to the ground; my legs shake uncontrollably. God, the futility, the desertion, my knees give way the muscles refuse to respond. I will receive no help, brought to one knee; back against the bed I raise my head. Claws appear in the gap between the door and the floor trying to pry their owner out, to fall upon his prey so he can wield them to drain the life from my body. • “You won’t taste me God d***’t” and I make • to march for the door, to challenge it, to end it but I instead lurch forward on to my stomach. I can’t do it, fear, doubt, and helplessness have me in a vice grip. They control my mind, not I, they will see me slaughtered, F*** them, it is not my time, I won’t let them take this from me, this is my life, my room and my f***ing closet that that thing is sh***ing in. • Its time for all this to go, its time for me to break out of • this prison, the intangibles don’t have bars thick or strong enough to contain me. I will shatter them; I will strike them down as a father would an impudent child. I will break them as the bear breaks the elk, and will cast them down to lie in their waste as they have done to me but they will not rise like I will. I regain feelings of my legs as I finish these thoughts. I feel solid, real, in control, sure. It spreads throughout my body and into my heart. I look toward the, it infuriates me, my lips pull back in a snarl. It dares to come to my room, into my life, it comes to give me pain, suffering and death but it’s got another thing coming. I stride over and grip the knob and pause, for the beast sounds different, slightly surprised, and taken aback. It can sense my anger, my hatred, and my determination to kill it. This was not what it had bargained for; it didn’t want a fight. It wanted a hapless victim who lie still like a good food item and let it pick it apart. I hate the cowardly thing even more, a growl rose in my throat, I will crush it; my hand wrenches the door open I behold it at last. Stepping out of the shadows it advances on my figure. It is bipedal with a tail that stretches back into the shadows, lashing back and forth defensively like a snake. It stands, its head brushing the ceiling with its two muscular arms armed with curved deadly claws. Its body then terminates with three identical heads resembling that of lampreys, with three teeth in each maw in a triangle like arrangement. The heads rears forward spraying their challenge on to me a strange euphoria comes over me, I not afraid; I just want to kill it, to reawaken myself with the exertion towards its annihilation. To end its existence in my life, I need a simpler life anyway and this is a d*** good place to start canceling sh** out. I bared my teeth I feel the blood rushing to my biceps, to my legs warming me, empowering me. It will die tonight. I widened my stance lifting arms and striking my thigh’s feeling my power, exhaling my fury, snarling like an animal. A very pissed off and slightly deranged animal. The monster shifted its left leg behind itself leaning back so to be prepared to run or meet the onslaught, although where would he run he is in a f***ing closet. I dart toward the snarling beast and he rushes forward as well, seeing no alternative but to stand and fight. We meet in the air, his claws digging into my shoulders spilling blood and my hands clenching one of the necks and his shoulder.