Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. bullyfree abeane@bullyfree

Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. www.bullyfree.com abeane@bullyfree.com

The Bully Free Program by Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. www.bullyfree.com abeane@bullyfree.com

Forrest Gump Movie www.bullyfree.com

ForrestGump(Paramount Pictures, 1994) www.bullyfree.com

What are we talking about? • Students mistreating students • Peer victimization • Peer abuse • Bullying www.bullyfree.com

Presentation Goals • To discuss the nature of bullying. • To discuss the rationale for preventing and stopping bullying. www.bullyfree.com

I want to give you my passion for preventing and stopping bullying. www.bullyfree.com

The Reason for My Passion! www.bullyfree.com

I believe in the Golden Rule! What is the Golden Rule? “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” www.bullyfree.com

Dr. Allan Beane and his wife, Linda, are the developers of the Bully Free Program used throughout the world. • They are passionate about preventing and stopping bullying. www.bullyfree.com

Their son, Curtis, was bullied. www.bullyfree.com

www.bullyfree.com

Definition of Bullying Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior that is intentional, hurtful (physical and/or psychological) and persistent(repeated). It is often threatening because there is an imbalance of strength (power). www.bullyfree.com

Is bullying a form of violence? What is the definition of violence? www.bullyfree.com

Definition of Violence Violence is any word, look, sign, or act that hurts a person’s body, feelings, or things. www.bullyfree.com

Types of Bullying • Direct • Physical and verbal • Indirect • Social/Relational • Other • Cyber bullying www.bullyfree.com

Physical Bullying • Hitting, slapping, elbowing and shouldering (slamming) • Pushing/shoving • Kicking • Stealing, damaging or defacing personal property www.bullyfree.com

Restraining • Pinching • Flushing someone’s head in the toilet • Cramming someone into his/her locker • Sexual harassment www.bullyfree.com

What other physical bullying have you seen? www.bullyfree.com

Verbal Bullying • Name-calling • Insulting remarks and put-downs • Repeated teasing • Racist remarks • Threats and intimidation • Whispering about someone behind his or her back www.bullyfree.com

What verbal bullying have you seen? www.bullyfree.com

Social and Relational Bullying • Destroying and manipulating relationships • turning your best friend against you, stealing your boyfriend or girlfriend, etc. www.bullyfree.com

Destroying reputations • gossiping, spreading mean and hurtful rumors and lies about someone • Embarrassment and humiliation www.bullyfree.com

Negative body language (facial expressions, turning your back to someone) • Threatening gestures • Ranking (socially classifying students) www.bullyfree.com

Hurtful graffiti • Excluding someone from a group (social rejection/isolation) www.bullyfree.com

Mean and nasty notes passed around or sent to someone • Hate petitions (promising to hate someone) www.bullyfree.com

What social/relational bullying have you seen? www.bullyfree.com

Cyber bullying • Cyber bullies are often victims of bullying • Can feel stronger online – can be a different person online • Instant messages • Cell phone text messages • E-mail • Internet (MySpace, Facebook and other social networks) www.bullyfree.com

Chat language (Internet Slang) • TDTM (talk dirty to me) • YBS (you’ll be sorry) • UR DED (you’re dead) www.bullyfree.com

Afraid to tell parents • Fear that parents may restrict use of telephone and/or computer • Afraid parents might increase supervision www.bullyfree.com

Truth! Some students experience all forms of bullying behavior. Sometimes students don’t realize how hurtful they are being. www.bullyfree.com

How are boys and girls different in their bullying behavior? www.bullyfree.com

How frequently does it occur? www.bullyfree.com

20% - 58% or more of students (varies from school to school) have reported being bullied • School personnel underestimate • Most of it occurs in secret www.bullyfree.com

Some students receive an average of 213 verbal put downs per week • 30 per day (Fried and Fried, 1996) • Average duration time: 37seconds www.bullyfree.com

In a survey of 558 students in a mid-western middle school: • 80% of the students had engaged in bullying behaviors in the previous 30 days (Espelage, 1999, in Weinhold and Weinhold) www.bullyfree.com

When and where does it happen? www.bullyfree.com

What are the warning signs that a student is being bullied? www.bullyfree.com

Sudden change in school attendance • Sudden change in school performance • Sudden loss of interest in favorite activities www.bullyfree.com

No friends or fewer friends than other children • Unexplained physical injuries • Frequent headache and stomachache www.bullyfree.com

Loss of appetite • Nightmares • Sudden change in mood or behavior • Overly sensitive, cautious and angry • Sad, lonely, depressed and anxious www.bullyfree.com

Loss of self-esteem and self-confidence • Prefers company of adults • Seeking friendships with the wrong people • Starts bullying others www.bullyfree.com

What are the warning signs that a child may bully? www.bullyfree.com

Seeks to dominate and/or manipulate peers • Enjoys power and control • Loves to win at everything; hates to lose at anything • Poor winner (boastful, arrogant) and a poor loser www.bullyfree.com

Gets excited when conflict arises between others • Stays cool during conflicts in which he or she is directly involved www.bullyfree.com

Always blames other people for conflict • Shows little or no remorse for his or her negative behavior – lack of empathy for others • Disregards rules and disrespectful www.bullyfree.com

Defiant or oppositional toward adults • Expects to be “misunderstood” or “disrespected” – attacks before he or she is attacked • May or may not have poor self-esteem • Cruel to animals www.bullyfree.com

Allan L. Beane, Ph.D. bullyfree abeane@bullyfree