130 likes | 196 Views
Exercise 28. No.1. (Worse) The message is received by the user that subscription to the on-line service must be made by the account holder. (Better) The user receives the message that the account holder must subscribe to the on-line service. No.2.
E N D
No.1 • (Worse) The message is received by the user that subscription to the on-line service must be made by the account holder. • (Better) The user receives the message that the account holder must subscribe to the on-line service.
No.2 • (Worse) Confirmation of the data accuracy is required by the quality engineer so that customer satisfaction is ensured. • (Better) the quality engineer must confirm the data accuracy to ensure customer satisfaction.
No.3 • (Worse) The production manager receives information from headquarters that evaluation of the finished products must be made by the quality inspector. • (Better) Headquarters informs the production manager that the quality inspector must evaluate the finished products.
No.4 • (Worse) Adjustment of the parameters is unnecessary by the control engineer. • (Better) The control engineer does not need to adjust the parameters.
No.5 • (Worse) A significant decline in the investment return occurred. • (Better) The investment return significantly declined.
No.6 • (Worse) Significant enhancement of conventional procedures by the proposed scheme is possible through the close monitoring of current conditions. • (Better) the proposed scheme can significantly enhance conventional procedures by closely monitoring current conditions.
No.7 • (Worse) The investigator made the suggestion that there is a close relation between the two conditions. • (Better) The investigator suggested that the two conditions are closely related.
No.8 • (Worse) The committee came to the conclusion that it is crucial to perform an on-line assessment. • (Better) The committee concluded that an on-line assessment must be performed.
No.9 • (Worse) There is a necessity for a compromise on the proposal by both parties. • (Better) Both parties must compromise on the proposal.
No.10 • (Worse) There is no need for implementation of the environmental awareness program to be the sole responsibility of the organizing committee. • (Better) the organizing committee does not need to be the solely responsible for implementing the environmental awareness program.
No.11 • (Worse) The committee is in a position to make sure that the program is capable of being promulgated successfully. • (Better) The committee can make sure that the program can be promulgated successfully.
No.12 • (Worse) It is our opinion that the current system is deficient of an initial prototype. • (Better) We believe that the current system lacks a prototype.