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Basics of a Skillful Life: Marriage, Children and an Ordered Home Message 7

Basics of a Skillful Life: Marriage, Children and an Ordered Home Message 7. Artisanship and the Lifelong Pursuit of Wisdom. Part I Artisanship: Mastering Your Craft (3 messages) Part II The Skillful Life (6 messages) Part III The Lifelong Pursuit of Wisdom

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Basics of a Skillful Life: Marriage, Children and an Ordered Home Message 7

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  1. Basics of a Skillful Life: Marriage, Children and an Ordered Home Message 7

  2. Artisanship and the Lifelong Pursuit of Wisdom Part I Artisanship: Mastering Your Craft (3 messages) Part II The Skillful Life (6 messages) Part III The Lifelong Pursuit of Wisdom (2 messages)

  3. Artisanship and the Lifelong Pursuit of Wisdom Part II The Skillful Life (6 messages) • The Wisdom Tradition Basics of a Skillful Life • Character and Mental Acumen • Money, Honesty, and Disciplined Work Habits • Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home • Emotions, People, and Skill in Conflict • Authority, Respect, and Generational Authority

  4. Are you in the process of tearing down your house in any way? You may be, whether you know it or not.

  5. “Tearing your house down” is the real meaning of divorce! Our society accepts divorce today. It is better than having the children live with fighting parents. As you will see, divorce is never a good thing – never!

  6. This is a great new national study showing the long term and intergenerational effects of divorce.

  7. Desperate Housewives is an enormous national hit – a premier program, a website, and now even a video game! It is all about how to tear down a house.

  8. 65 Question Exercise • Pick a few of your favorite questions. • Discuss them with your spouse. • Discuss them with your children. • Discuss them with a colleague at work.

  9. Building an Answer • The individual questions are important, but a solid basic answer will answer them all at once. • Building a Basic Answer—Wisdom is skill in living; we all need it to become masters of our work. • Expanding Our Answer—Mastering one’s craft must be viewed as part of one’s family, which is to be a prosperous intergenerational unit, with wives accelerating that prosperity. • Completing Our Answer—Mastering one’s profession is part of one’s larger lifework, intended to intergenerationally impact the purposes of God.

  10. Wisdom is Primary Wisdom is key; it is living life skillfully mastering our craft building a house (family) intergenerational blessing Therefore we must pursue wisdom.

  11. Wisdom The craftsmanship God used to create the world. Base of a broad mind—covering vast subjects. Base for master craftsmanship—professions.

  12. True Wisdom It has been given to us in the Hebrew wisdom tradition. It is given to us in a body of literature— a corpus. As Christians, we have in our hands the true wisdom of how the world works—the Divine Code. And we must master it!

  13. Pursuing Wisdom • Pursuing Wisdom Means… • …Mastering the Wisdom Corpus • Proverbs 1–8

  14. The Wisdom Corpus Proverbs Skill in Life Mental Acumen (discipline) (wisdom) Job Crises Fear of the Lord Prov 1:7 Eccl. Meaning (prudence) (insight) (knowledge) (understanding) (discernment) Song of Solomon Marriage

  15. …a habit of lifelong learning …character development • character types • character traits • mental acumen Core Life Skills 75 Categories Tool 43 6 …living harmoniously in community …respect for authority and administration …kinds of generations …justice …disciplined in work …honest and fair practices …good use of money One leading a skillful life 6 …dealing wisely and fairly with people …control of emotions and words ...handling conflict …well ordered home …an excellent wife …discipline of children 14 6

  16. Core Life Skills A Lifelong Habit of Learning, Character Development One leading a skillful life . . . 1. is developing a habit of lifelong learning as well as consistently applying what is being learned—habits that lead to the development of character.

  17. Core Life Skills Money, Honesty, and Disciplined Work Habits One leading a skillful life . . . 2. is disciplined in his work as well as in handling his money, taking care to make sure that all of his gain is from honest and fair practices, laying careful foundations for the future, while keeping the most important things in life in perspective.

  18. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home One leading a skillful life . . . 3. is enjoying a well-ordered home life, at the center of which is an excellent wife, whom both the husband and children value tremendously, thus strengthening the community and laying foundations for future generations.

  19. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home • Overarching concepts . . . • A wise man will carefully build his home, recognizing that it is an enormous stabilizing factor in this life; a key to true wealth, security, and satisfaction; as well as providing a lasting refuge for his children. 24:7; 24:3–4; 12:7; 14:11; 15:6; 21:20; 11:29; 20:7; 17:6; 14:1 (cf. 31:10–31)

  20. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home • By wisdom a house is built, • and through understanding it is established; • through knowledge its rooms are filled • with rare and beautiful treasures. • Proverbs 24:3–4 • A progression • Built = set up, initial construction • Established = completed, arranged, made permanent • Filled = satisfied, full

  21. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home • Wicked men are overthrown and are no more, • but the house of the righteous stands firm. • Proverbs 12:7 • The house of the wicked will be destroyed, • but the tent of the upright will flourish. • Proverbs 14:11 • 2 results: • Stands firm—will last through storms • Flourish—will blossom (prosperity)

  22. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home The house of the righteous contains great treasure, but the income of the wicked brings them trouble. Proverbs 15:6 In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has. Proverbs 21:20

  23. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home He who brings trouble on his family will inherit only wind, and the fool will be servant to the wise. Proverbs 11:29 The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him. Proverbs 20:7

  24. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Proverbs 14:1 Here it is called her house? Is it his or hers? How does she tear it down?

  25. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home • It takes a lot of work to build our homes. • It demands wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. • It will reap great rewards: a satisfying life, true prosperity. • It will produce security for ourselves and our children. • The main thing in life is not building your career. It is building your house.

  26. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home Filling Phase (true prosperity) Building Your House Establishing Phase (strong and secure) Building Phase (well constructed)

  27. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home • Overarching concepts . . . • An excellent wife is the key to building a home, and nothing in life is a greater source or sign of blessing on a man’s life. Therefore, finding such a wife should be at the top of his priority list as he seeks to build his house; and his life priorities should reflect his appreciation of her immeasurable worth, truly loving her. 12:4; 18:22; 19:14; 31:1–31

  28. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. Proverbs 12:4 The issue here is the husband’s strength. A dis”graceful” wife weakens him. Noble character = strength, efficiency, wealth, a force— used for army (BDB); competent (KB). Best translated a powerful “competent strength.”

  29. Wife: Proverbs 31 • If you examine her work it has 2 parts • The Base—the Family and Home • Watches affairs of household, husband undistracted (fine food, fine clothes, both husband and children praise her) • Expanding the Base • Economic base and social impact of household (trades land—vineyard; garments—merchants and poor)

  30. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22 In chapter 8, he who finds wisdom obtains favor. It shows how critical your choice is. How do you get a good husband? Become the kind of person he is searching for.

  31. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. Proverbs 19:14 Here we see this kind of wife is actually a gift from God. Prudent = skilled, highly capable, insightful, prosperous. You can become this type of woman.

  32. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home Under three things the earth trembles, under four it cannot bear up: a servant who becomes king, a fool who is full of food, an unloved woman who is married, and a maidservant who displaces her mistress. Proverbs 30:21–23 Unloved = not likeable, not able to endure, despised Which comes first? the despising or the disposition?

  33. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. Proverbs 5:15–18 Part of blessing, prosperity, is enjoying each other sexually, lifelong—part of being a loved woman.

  34. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home Overarching concepts . . . c. A woman also has the power of bringing a house down by being discontent and nagging, which makes the environment of the home unbearable, or by using her sexuality to lure men into adultery. Any men who fall into her trap are in danger of losing everything. 19:13; 21:29; 27:16–17; 30:21–23; 22:14; 5:8, 10; 6:31; 7:27

  35. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping. Proverbs 19:13 Our water purifier fills up slowly. Rapid fire drips with sort of a gurgling/gargling sound. It lasts about 20 minutes. If I close the sink drain, the sound stops—relief!

  36. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand. Proverbs 27:15–16 Idea of restraining the wind and grasping oil, is that you can never grasp it or contain it. This is a woman who argues and you can never satisfy her, never settle the issue, never solve the problem.

  37. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home The mouth of an adulteress is a deep pit; he who is under the Lord’s wrath will fall into it. Proverbs 22:14 Adulteress = a strange or foreign woman; pictures one on the hunt (the character developed in Proverbs 5–7).

  38. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home keeping you from the immoral woman, from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife. Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life. Proverbs 6:24–26 Look at “power” words: smooth, lust, captivate Also tongue, beauty, eyes Point: Women have enormous power! Desperate Housewives!

  39. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your best strength to others and your years to one who is cruel, lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich another man’s house. Proverbs 5:8–10 Issue: Adultery tears down your house.

  40. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home Overarching concepts . . . d. Careful instruction, accompanied by firm discipline, will shape a child on the right road. Without it the bent toward foolishness will take root and eventually lead the child to ruin. 1:8; 4:1–4; 13:24; 20:30; 22:6; 29:15

  41. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Proverbs 1:8 Mothers—teach (Torah) Fathers—discipline: teach with authority, correction, discipline

  42. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching. When I was a boy in my father’s house, still tender, and an only child of my mother, he taught me and said, “Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live. Proverbs 4:1–4

  43. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home • He who spares the rod hates his son, • but he who loves him is careful to discipline him • Proverbs 13:24 • Assumptions: (Waltke, p. 574) • The home is the basic social unit for transmitting values. • Parents have absolute values. • “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child.” • It will take more than just words to dislodge it.

  44. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being. Proverbs 20:30 Blows = bruise (blue)

  45. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6 Train = broadly instruct in accordance with proper rules of conduct and behavior, which includes principles and holy ritual (LN); train up, dedicate Way = path, manner, custom, journey

  46. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother. Proverbs 29:15 Left to himself = allowed to stray

  47. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home Overarching concepts . . . e. A very important indicator of whether we are on the right course in life is our attitude toward our parents, an attitude that should span our entire lifetime. It should be marked by a receptive spirit to their discipline, and later their counsel, and a lifelong desire to please them through living skillful and productive lives. 10:1; 17:25; 23:15–16; 27:11; 20:20; 23:22; 30:11; 10:1

  48. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son grief to his mother. Proverbs 10:1 A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the one who bore him. Proverbs 17:25 Deep emotions are tied to the choices of our children. They can affect our whole lives.

  49. Core Life Skills Marriage, Children, and an Ordered Home My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad; my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right. Proverbs 23:15–16 Be wise, my son, and bring joy to my heart; then I can answer anyone who treats me with contempt. Proverbs 27:11

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