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Family Physicians

Family Physicians . Workshop 2013. Improvements. People are: Creating strong topic sentences Title, author, prompt  Using quotes in their writing Better integration of quotes Citations are included Creating stronger concluding sentences. What I noticed that still needs work.

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Family Physicians

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  1. Family Physicians Workshop 2013

  2. Improvements • People are: • Creating strong topic sentences • Title, author, prompt  • Using quotes in their writing • Better integration of quotes • Citations are included • Creating stronger concluding sentences

  3. What I noticed that still needs work • People are still • Misunderstanding the prompt • Not addressing the prompt soon enough • Not using quotes properly • Very few people  • Not including enough evidence • One point is not enough!

  4. Misunderstanding the prompt • Explain what steps needs to be taken to remedy the issues presented in the article “Family physicians-an endangered species?”. • You need to provide solutions, not the problems.

  5. Not addressing the prompt immediately • The sooner you refer to the prompt, the sooner you score marks. • Many people spent the first half outlining the problems. • You only started scoring points once you talked about the solutions.

  6. Quotes • Learn how to properly integrate, cite and explain quotes • If you don’t know how, ask me or a friend!

  7. Quote Example • In the article it states that the number of students choosing family practice as their life long career has been dropping rapidly. “It used to be that 50% of students chose family practice as their first choice. As of 1997, that proportion had fallen to 35%; in 2004, it has declined to a further 24%” (para 5). A remedy to this problem would be to offer incentives to doctors who choose it as a lifelong career, with incentives growing the longer they are in service.

  8. Quote Example Improved • In the article it states that the number of students choosing family practice as their life long career has been dropping rapidly. For example,“It used to be that 50% of students chose family practice as their first choice. As of 1997, that proportion had fallen to 35%; in 2004, it has declined to a further 24%” (para 5). A remedy to this problem would be to offer incentives to doctors who choose it as a lifelong career, with incentives growing the longer they are in service.

  9. Quote Example • Students cite "a daunting debt load […] and long hours required […] managing a family practice" (para 4). Therefore, this shows how students do not want to become a family physician due to the long hours and a heavy debt coming out of school.

  10. Quote Example Improved • Students cite "a daunting debt load […] and long hours required […] managing a family practice" as reasons for not choosing family medicine(para4).

  11. Quote Example • Most students are turned off by the amount of loans they face after school "When asked why they lack interest in family medicine, students cite a daunting student debt load"( Burak 4) the government should lower the staggering prices for students to further their interest in becoming a family doctor.

  12. Quote Example Improved • Most students are turned off by the amount of loans they face after school. So much so that "When asked why they lack interest in family medicine, students cite a daunting student debt load"( Burak 4).It is clear that the government should lower the staggering prices for students to further their interest in becoming a family doctor.

  13. Quote Example – Strong • In addition, Burak states that a large number of doctors in BC are “retiring, moving out of province, [or] reducing their hours of practice,” and this is a big issue in regards to the condition of British Columbia’s health care system and citizens (para 5).

  14. More than one point • You need more than point to support an argument • You need at least three points minimum! • Make sure you take the time to plan your points.

  15. My Recommendation • Plan out what you are going to say! • A sample outline • Topic Sentence • ACE # 1 • ACE # 2 • ACE # 3 • Concluding Sentence

  16. Outline • Topic Sentence: • In “Family Physicians – an endangered species” Dr. Jack Burak highlights many of the critical problems with Canadian health care today.

  17. Outline • ACE # 1: • A: money (help with student debt) • C: “daunting student debt…” (para 4) • E: students will be more inclined to be family drs • ACE # 2: • A: lifestyle (create better hours) • C: “want a balance” (para 4) • E: will increase # of students

  18. Outline • ACE # 3 • A: encourage healthy lifestyle • C: “live a healthy lifestyle” (para8) • E: if people are healthy, less drs, are needed • Conclusion: Many things can be done to remedy the situation, but …. (come up with catchy ending)

  19. Apply this to your synthesis • Everything we have been practicing with these paragraphs can be applied to your synthesis essay. • Keep that in mind as you write today!

  20. Questions?

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