Supporting Child To Have The Freedom To Explore And Discover Themselves

1. Picking The Right School Starts With  Parenting Style   Let’s start with our favourite foolish question: Why do we send our children to school? (No, “To get them out of my hair” is not an acceptable response). School is a default decision. All kids go to school.  But have you as parents ever asked yourself what  happens if your child does not go to school?  “How will she learn anything?” “How will he get ready for the real world?” You ask. Valid questions. But think some more. What, really, do you want your child to learn? This brings us to a fundamental difference between the ways in which parents think about their children. Some parents decide they know what is best for their child, and choose to push their child down certain paths/directions. We call this the “Parent led” approach. Other parents believe that their child needs to have the freedom to explore and discover themselves and the world, and choose their own path in terms of interests and therefore education. We call this the “Child led” approach.  Copyright © 2016 ​​KyaSchool​​, All Rights Reserved 

2. In both approaches, in the early years the decisions are made by the parents. A four year old cannot really choose a school, although she may have an opinion on the basis of someone she met or a building she saw. But with age the approach becomes more important. In a Parent-led model, choices in middle and senior school assume little individuality or choice on the part of the child. The default path is chosen by the parent largely driven by factors external to the child. It could be that your family is full of doctors or engineers, so it is automatic that the child also become one. Or the child has to carry the parents “Broken Dreams Burden*” of becoming a dancer or whatever. (*see explanation at the end of this post). In a child-led model, the parent tries to understand what the child’s special abilities or interests might be. If your child is too young, you seek out environments that allow your child to experiment and discover the interests that are closest to her heart. This is a less clear and defined path, and may at certain times not feel like a path at all. But the parent is okay with the child taking her own path, and making her own decisions as she goes beyond primary school. And if the child decides to study English literature or History or Music because she has a keen, deep interest in that field (instead of, say, engineering), so be it. For you as a parent to recognize your approach to education – Parent-led or Child led – is the first step to picking the right school. Ideally, both the parents need to be clear and in agreement on why they are sending their child to school. That, in turn, will help them determine what they seek in a school. For parents to agree upon these basics is a good idea. In the next post we will broadly categorize schools, and help you with a framework with which you can better understand the various schools around your home (or location of preference). But to determine the best fit, self knowledge about your parenting style is a crucial starting point. * Broken Dreams Burden: Conversation with parents reveals that some parents try to live their own unrealized dreams through their children. “I used to dance as a child, but had to give it up because of xyz reason. So I want my daughter to become a great dancer.” We call that the “Broken Dreams Burden” a child has to carry. We think it is very unfair to impose your dreams upon your child. That only works if the child actually shares your dream. Otherwise, the child, in the process of living out your dream, may be stifling her own.  Copyright © 2016 ​​KyaSchool​​, All Rights Reserved