Helping Employees Cope with the Death of a Co-Worker or Close Family Member

1. Helping Employees Cope with the Death of a Co-Worker or Close Family Member Sandra Ray, CIRS United Way of Greater Houston And Toni Gutierrez, M.Ed, CIRS, CRS, CIRS-A Concho Valley Council of Governments

2. Objectives • Planning in advance for the death of an employee or a co-worker (agency policies/procedures) • Examining the situation. Is the death expected or imminent? Is it an unexpected event? • Coping with the supervisor’s grief while assisting employees with the grieving process • Managing the day-to-day work after the death of an employee. • Transitioning to the new “normal” and moving to the next steps in the program/agency.

3. Unimaginable Circumstances • Co-worker deaths can have significant impact on workplace • Can affect productivity of workplace • Dynamics of workplace can change dramatically • “People who work together can become like extended family, and when they suffer a loss, friends and co-workers grieve.” (www.michigan.gov)

4. Policies/Procedures • Many organizations do not have policies relating to death of employees. • Consider issues such as: • What is supervisor’s role? • What role does Human Resources play? • Who can be informed and at what point? (includes family, emergency contacts, employees at different levels of agency)

5. Nature of Death • Terminal illness • May allow time for employees to process and have closure • Consider • Unexpected Death • May invoke especially strong emotions • Contact employees who are away from office • Provide private grieving space

6. Daily Operations • What were the employees job duties? • Redistribute job duties • Promote someone to assume these duties • Rehire position • Make decisions about workspace. • Length of time deceased employee’s workspace may be empty • Consider rearranging office space if possible

7. Workspace Issues • It can be awkward to sort through a deceased employee’s personal effects. • The supervisor and one other person (possibly an HR representative) should be present when sorting through these items. • Catalogue items as you sort • Return to the designated family member – if items will be shipped, get proof of delivery.

8. Working with the Family • Family members may want to visit the office. • Establish boundaries or time frames for these visits. • Be prepared for the emotions of the families.

9. Working With the Family • HR department needs to be primary contact for benefit issues. • Agencies without HR departments may delegate these issues to the immediate supervisor. • Determine answers to questions like scope of benefits, beneficiaries, and any final pay issues before meeting with the family. • Accrued sick/vacation leave payout • Employees without a will • Notification of insurance company/copy of death certificate

10. Grieving in the Workplace • Designate one person to handle emails/phone calls regarding donations, flowers, gifts for family, etc. • If the memorial services or funeral take place during work hours, staff persons may want to attend. Have a back-up plan for operations during this time. • Consider holding a separate memorial service for the workplace.

11. Memorial Services • Let employees help plan • Keep program neutral to honor religious/spiritual needs of all employees • Allow enough time for everyone to say good-bye • If memorial service isn’t possible, consider a short retreat from office to process emotions

12. Grief Counseling for Employees • Some issues are best handled by professionals • Group grief sessions with a trained therapist may help • If organization has an Employee Assistance Program, stress its benefit to employees to let them grieve individually.

13. Supervisors Grieve Too • Supervisors face unique situation. • Seen as person who is strong and will lead the agency into “new normal,” yet need time to grieve. • Is it ok to cry in front of your staff? • Employees should see active grieving, yet continued productivity • Consider personal sessions with grief counselor or EAP

14. Moving Forward • Support informal rituals if possible • Donations to charity • Dedicate tree or library book to deceased • New employees are not replacements for the deceased • Return to productive work in a respectful way that honors deceased’s memory

15. When a Co-Worker Experiences a Loss • Cards, flowers, handwritten notes • Co-workers may be able to donate vacation days for additional time off • Consider ways to help short-term • Donate gift cards for meals • Offer to provide childcare for respite • Provide housekeeping or yard work

16. When a Co-Worker Experiences a Loss • Grieving is a long-term process • Amount of leave time available to employees will not give them time to fully grieve before returning to work • Be sensitive to moments when employee may seem overwhelmed • Be available. • EAP options

17. Questions? Sandra Ray, CIRS United Way of Greater Houston 713-685-2469 sray@unitedwayhouston.org Toni Gutierrez, M.Ed, CIRS, CRS, CIRS-A Concho Valley Council of Governments 325-223-5704 toni@cvcog.org