Dialogue and Non-Violent Communication

1. Dialogue and Non-Violent Communication Issues and Strategies for Dealing with Conflict in Social Work

2. Defining Dialogue • A form of democratic practice, engagement, problem-solving, and education involving face to face, focused, facilitated, and confidential discussions occurring over time between groups of people defined by their different social identities. • A way of exploring the roots of the many crises that face humanity today. It enables inquiry into, and understanding of, the sorts of processes that fragment and interfere with real communication between individuals, groups, organizations, nations.

3. Dialogue Debate and Discussion • Dialogue is not Debate—there is no winner and loser, no conclusion • Dialogue differs from Discussion—does not acknowledge power, personal, emotional experiences • Rather dialogue is a process, where reflection and inquiry is the foundation. • Participants must “suspend” their assumptions, as if suspended before us. • Participants must regard one another as colleagues, and a facilitator who holds the context of the dialogue.

4. Dialogue • Dialogue requires a commitment to confront tough issues. • Dialogue is about relationship building, intergroup conflict, and community building • Dialogue is about the integration of process and content—need knowledge, theory, information, as well as group processes • Dialogue ultimately leads to action—coalition based, collaborative social change

5. Process Content Model (Zuniga, Nagda, Sevig, 2002) Forming and Building Relationships Exploring differences and commonalities of experience at the individual, interpersonal, and systemic level Exploring and Dialoguing about Hot Topics Action Planning and Alliance Building

6. Dialogue • Is not just about looking at differences, but also at the commonalities; finding common ideas, goals, and new ideas • Listening is critical and seeing all sides of an issue, consider new ideas, building agreement • Understanding the uniqueness and richness of each person’s point of view • Constantly evaluating yourself, being open to being wrong • Having trust in the process

7. Conflict as part of learning • Conflict is a normal part of human interaction and group processes. You should expect them to occur in inter-group dialogues. • Conflict is always with us, it would be boring and unproductive if there was sameness and lack of disagreement. It can result in creativity and better ideas and solutions. • Conflict is important because it can lead to significant learning. • We need to learn how to accept emotional expression as valid and valuable part of the learning process and turn the focus to finding effective ways to use it for learning. • Conflict often occurs at our learning edges, when we are out of our comfort zones.

8. Dealing with Conflict • We should encourage conflicting ideas. We can prepare students for this by letting them know that conflict and dissonant feelings are expected and a helpful part of our learning. Otherwise, we would not need dialogue groups. • Avoiding the feelings that are stimulated by oppression ignores how deeply it is embedded in our psyches and reinforces norms of silence and discounting that ultimately support oppression. • We should strive for productive conflict where all participants have a voice, their right to express differing perspectives is assured, and all participants listen to and challenge each other and the facilitator respectfully.

9. Non-violent Action or Resistance • Not a technique, but a philosophy • Historically from religious and stoic teachings, but not give us a way to deal with injustice, except endurance • Not merely pacifism or the refusal to kill or hit—clear that this was not good enough • It’s about action

10. Basic assumptions • Each statement is true - as a part of the truth. None of the statements is true of the whole. • We are, each of us, finite beings in a universe which, so far as we can know, is infinite. • There is a limit to the time during which we can learn things - and there are far too many things to learn for any of us ever to be sure we are an authority except - at best - in small and limited ways. • Our reality are filled with partial truths (partial and incomplete) and thus our opponents also see a part of true reality

11. Truth is Common Ground • Truth can come through observation, listening, dialogue, and research • Listen with respect to those with whom you deeply disagree, not as a tactic but because you hope to catch in their remarks some truth that you may have both missed. • Nonviolence is many things, but if it is not a search for truth - a search that is never ended - it will fail. • Gandhian philosophy assumes that the ‘reality’ we see is transitory, that change and struggle is the rule, not the exception

12. Transforming the battle • Gandhi saw nonviolence as the path of loving resistance, of “soul force,” the search or application of truth or Satyagraha - as the way out of the pain of engaging in the slaughter of his people. • Yes, he would accept his duty as a warrior, but he would transform the very nature of battle itself • For Gandhi, the hope was that if each conflict could be resolved through nonviolence, the next conflict would occur at a “higher level”

13. Values of Non-violent Action • Humility; honesty and truth is upheld, admitting error can be embarrassing and painful, but can give you credibility • We do not demonize opponents, we try to see them as human beings (the god within everyone) • Our goal is a new society, and that must include those who were yesterday our enemies. The goal of a successful revolution is a reconciliation after the social change. • Overcome your fears; you should do only those things you feel just barely able to do. Don’t try to do what you cannot do. Be courageous.

14. Reaching Agents of Injustice • Unite your friends and divide your enemies • Violence can divide your allies—those who fear using it and those too weak to use it • Non-violence is something everyone can do—it takes courage, not military training • Our goal is transformation and reconciliation, and that is what a revolution is about.

15. Resistance as a reaction to conflict One reaction to conflict is resistance. 1. Claim that the status quo is part of a natural order. • 2. Invalidation of target group member’s experience. • 3. Agents’ need to have own pain and hurt recognized. • 4. Protection of agent group members by target group members.

16. More reactions to conflict • 6. Agents focus on an identity in which they are members of a targeted group. • 7. Invalidation of the teacher • 8. Invalidation of the class. • 9. Anecdote raised to the status of generalized fact. • 10. Domination of class discussion. • 11. Hostile silence.

17. Common Forms of Resistance • Immobilization, due to a sense of powerlessness to change oppressive conditions, fear of being perceived as a bigot, agent guilt about their agent status, fear of conflict and disagreement • Distancing, including the need to see the most extreme bigots as agents of oppression, willingness to focus on oppression of target groups but not one’s own privilege • Conversion, including correcting others, romanticizing target groups, reversing power dynamics, demonizing agent groups

18. Strategies for Dealing with Resistance • Confront people on their resistance. Its difficult, but no one said it would be easy. Hold individuals responsible for being allies, rather than supporting status quo. • Ask questions—what is making you ask that question? Where is the silence coming from? • Use of self as a model for change—explaining your struggle for critical consciousness and every day examples, owning your own unearned privilege. • Acknowledging agent groups as humans who have the capacity for change, examine commonalities among agents and targets, encourage peace and justice for all as common goals, encourage reconciliation.

19. Speech as non-violent action • Ahimsa • Listening with Ting • LARA

20. Listening with Ting!

21. The LARA Model • Listen • Affirm • Respond • Add Information