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Counseling for Success: Behavior Guidance that Empowers Youth

Counseling for Success: Behavior Guidance that Empowers Youth. Bridge Conference October 8 th , 2012 Seattle , WA. Opening Question:. What does empowerment mean to you?. The ability of people or communities to create what is most important to them. Goals Today.

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Counseling for Success: Behavior Guidance that Empowers Youth

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  1. Counseling for Success:Behavior Guidance that Empowers Youth Bridge Conference October 8th, 2012 Seattle, WA

  2. Opening Question: What does empowerment mean to you? The ability of people or communities to create what is most important to them

  3. Goals Today • Offer a model for non-exclusive behavior management • Empower youth to identify the needs behind their actions and find new strategies to meet them in ways that don’t conflict with others • Communicate in way that opens possibilities, creates connection, increases authenticity, and changes lives

  4. Responsibility -> choices -> power

  5. Group Brainstorm • If your life was perfect… • If needs are universal in nature where does conflict come from?

  6. Five Levels of Behavior Guidance(all of which are effective, but effective in different ways) • 1. Punishment and Rewards • What is learned? • What is changed? behavior, heart, or mind? • Is this a sustainable solution? • What skills are developed? • What choices does the student have? • What is internalized? • Are they likely to take responsibility? • What relationship does this foster with authority?

  7. Five Levels of Behavior Guidance • 2. Guilt Approach • A sigh, and a slow shaking of the head are nonverbal methods. • Common phrases may include “You know better” and “I’m really disappointed in you.” • Long lectures • What are their choices? • What do they learn?

  8. Five Levels of Behavior Guidance • 3. Buddy Approach • Easy to use if there is some external governing body that the children know you must comply with. Even when you are the bad guy, it isn’t really you, it’s the system. • Buddy adults almost always bend or break rules on occasion. • Children will often do what you say because you are their buddy. • What will happen when they do need to hold their ground? • What is learned?

  9. Five Levels of Behavior Guidance • 4. Monitor Approach • The use of natural and logical consequences • The child either accepts the consequences or makes some kind of restitution. • If the child would do it without the use of external power, then the child learned something. If the child makes restitution because of an external power, then they just learned that someone is more powerful than they are.

  10. Five Levels of Behavior Guidance • The Success Counselor • Aims for a change in heart. • What do you want? • What are are you doing to get it? • How is that working? • What are all the options? • What is best choice?

  11. The Success Counselor • Central premise: people are using behaviors to meet their needs • Common mistake? Stopping one behavior without starting another one, which leaves an unmet need. • The goal as counselors is not to solve children’s problems, but rather to give the child the information and support to create themselves as their own solutions

  12. Step One: Empathic listening • Hearing needs • Building rapport • Being curious Knowing we have connected…

  13. Miricle Questions • If the world was perfect, how would this end? • Let’s say you go to sleep tonight and there is a miracle, this situation is magically fixed, overnight everything falls into place and everyone is happy. When you wake up what is the first sign • Imagine you find a genie, who grants you three wishes… • When was a time in your life when you were to do __________ successfully?

  14. Next Steps- The Creative Dilemma • What are you doing to get it? • How is that working? • What are all the options? • Which one is the best? • Set a time to check back in.

  15. Tips Along the way… • One Breath rule • Finding self-empathy • Be curious • Street giraffe • Flex the structure • Embrace your struggles

  16. When this will fail… • Critical Criteria: change talk • The needs of the group verse the needs of the individual

  17. Closing thoughts • Counseling is deep down a process of building of relationship • Research in the field of counseling, time and time again, has shown no difference on what technique actually works the best. What is indicated in the research is simply that we must have a counseling philosophy, use techniques, believe in said techniques, and be flexible with the techniques depending on the person/people we are working with.

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