Thesis/Body Paragraph Development

1. Thesis/Body Paragraph Development While many students fail to see the necessity of a strong thesis statement and topic sentences, they are a requirement of a well-written paper.

2. Thesis Statement Requirements A Thesis Statement Should Be: • Your opinion on the topic of the paper; • Worded directly, though not simplistically; • Placed at the end of your introduction. A Thesis Statement Should Not Be • Strictly informational; • Indirect or “cute”; • Grammatically incorrect.

3. Avoid writing a thesis that is too broad and general • There are many reasons the film is superior to the book. • Vague--name the film/book • Broad—focus on a more specific area of superiority that can be supported • Improved: While the novel of Shoeless Joe is a classic work of American literature, the film version more effectively shows the magic of Ray’s field and life.

4. Avoid writing a thesis that is too narrow and specific • The book is better than the film because it includes Eddie Scissons. • Narrow—All three of your body paragraphs would have to be about Eddie Scissons • Improved: While the film version of Shoeless Joe contains most of the major elements of the novel, the novel is superior because it provides deeper psychological insight into the theme of dreams versus reality.

5. Transitioning to your Thesis • Transitions provide a smooth flow from the background information in your introduction to your thesis. • You can make the transition the opening part of your thesis statement or a separate sentence completely, but it must link the information in your introduction to the point you are making about the topic.

6. Thesis Transition Examples • For a summary introduction: • While the film version of Shoeless Joe contains most of the major elements of the novel, the novel is superior to the film because it provides deeper psychological insight the into theme of dreams versus reality. • For a biography introduction: • Both the film and the novel reflect Kinsella’s interest in baseball and the supernatural, butthe novel is superior to the film because it provides deeper psychological insight into the theme of dreams versus reality.

7. Thesis Transition Examples • For a background introduction: • Films and novels have their individual aesthetic assets; however, in this case,the novel is superior to the film because it provides deeper psychological insight into the theme of dreams versus reality. • For an “opposite” introduction: • Despite the preference many fans profess for the film,the novel is superior to the film because it provides deeper psychological insight into the theme of dreams versus reality.

8. Body Paragraph Structure:Topic Sentences Each body paragraph should start with a topic sentence that states a specific point supporting the thesis: Thesis: Despite the preference many fans profess for the film,the novel is superior to the film because it provides deeper psychological insight into the theme of dreams versus reality. Topic Sentence: By leaving out the character of Eddie Scissons, the film eliminates a major component of the dream theme that is central in the novel.

9. Body Paragraph Structure:Specific Details In order to support the point made by the topic sentence, the body paragraph must included specific details: Topic Sentence: By eliminating the magical appearance of an actual stadium on Ray’s farm, the film lessens the dream-like quality of Ray’s vision. Details: quote from the book about the stadium, description of the scene in the film, explanation of how this affects the dream/reality theme

10. Full Body Paragraph By eliminating the magical appearance of an actual stadium on Ray’s farm, the film lessens the dream-like quality of Ray’s vision. In the book, Ray tells us the stadium “looms dark against the sky, the park is surrounded by decks of floodlights, making it brighter than day, the crowd buzzes, the vendors hawk their wares . . .” (14). However, in the film, there is only the one set of bleachers Ray made himself, a few light poles, no crowd, no vendors, no real aura of major league baseball. This change makes the magic of Ray’s vision less viscerally amazing. By downplaying the magical appearance of the stadium, the field appears more physically real but less magical, removing the cognitive dissonance the provides the conflict between dreams and reality in the book. In the film’s more realistic setting, even the players seem more real and less like apparitions.

11. Body Paragraph Order • Before adding transitions and finishing your essay, consider these orders for body paragraphs: • Chronological—the order of how events occur in the book • Logical—making points necessary for the understanding of following points first • Order of Importance—going from lest to most important

12. Body Paragraph Structure:Transitions • Occur in and between body paragraphs as well as in the introduction • Provide connection to the thesis and between specific points • Connections can be • “Mechanical”—just name the next point • “one point,” “another point”; • By order—chronological or importance • “First, second, third”; “even more important, most important” • By content—the best option (see below)

13. Full Essay Outline Thesis: Despite the preference many fans profess for the film,the novel is superior to the film because it provides deeper psychological insight into the theme of dreams versus reality. TS1: By eliminating the magical appearance of an actual stadium on Ray’s farm, the film lessens the dream-like quality of Ray’s vision. Trans1: In the film’s more realistic setting, then, even the players seem more real and less like apparitions. TS2: Through emphasis of the ghost-players’ ethereal qualities, Shoeless Joe, the novel, makes readers question the reality of the players more effectively than the film does. Trans2: In addition to the elimination of the faceless players and crowds, the film also cuts Eddie Scissons. TS3: By leaving out the character of Eddie Scissons, the film eliminates a major component of the dream theme that is central in the novel.