Same Sex Parenting

1. Same Sex Parenting Jordan McGee

2. Info: / Facts: • It is hard to determine • Counting same sex couples in 2000 • Underestimated • Reluctant to claim • Before 2000, co-hab. / unmarried • Reversing evidence • More and more laws are passed • Changing of times, not as uncommon • Different Cohort • .7% of same sex parents in America 2007 • (U.S. Bureau of Census)

3. Male and Female Couples.

4. Same sex parenting stories • Women • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcZcgJpEj1s • Men • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLSCuQsmC4E

5. “Should we become parents?” • Having Children? …. but how ? • Donor insemination • Adoption • Fostering • Surrogacy • Children from previous relationships

6. Child Development • “Having child same sex parents’ seems to have no negative effect on child development” • “Children are affected by the quality of their relationships with their parents not so much by the hetero / homosexual nature of their parents.” • Discusses similarities children face with same sex parents as do children with opposite sex parents • Biosocial • Genetics • nutrition • Gross motor skills • Cognitive • Memory • Language • Modeling • Psychosocial • Emotions • Social skills • Temperament

7. Problems with same sex parenting • Gender identity • Psychosocial aspect • Boys and Girls • “Who am I ?” • Gender Roles • Not the same as heterosexual parenting • Who cooks who takes out the garbage. • Research shows that couples tend to divide these roles equally and focus on combining efforts to demonstrate a cohesive family unit. Resolution - Boys and Girls club - Big brother - Helping children grow - local peer groups, after school programs

8. Childhood effects • Friends • “Whose Child Cries” pg. 6 friends view homelife • Family • “Whose Child Cries” pg. 76 father figure • School • Bullying • Teachers can help

9. How can I help, as a teacher? • Promote a positive enviroment • Equality • Teach tollerance • Accepting atmosphere for all students • Getting parent involvmen • voulenteer

10. Children and Divorce Jocelyn Kane

11. Divorce Facts: • 60% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce • Approximately one of every two divorces incolves children • One million new children each year are affected by divorce • Children are the innocent victims • Children whose parents divorce are much more likely to show signs of • Agression • Depression • Lower self-esteem • Poor school performance

12. Facts about Children of Divorce • Before, during and after the divorce • “for the sake of the children” • Children with divorced parents • Academic performance is greatly affected • Income of custodial parent lowered • Income differences account for 30- 50% of differenecs in high school graduation rates

13. Facts about Children of Divorce Children appear to be Withdrawn Aggressive/sensitive/ quick to act out “give up” mode Children more frequently, therefore Fewer specialized educational services Less individual attention they may need from teachers

14. Feelings children may show • Relief • Anger- because of what they’ve lost • Embarrassment, ashamed • Sadness • Fear • Guilt – need to help them understand that it is not their fault

15. What can we do as Educators ? Parents divorce each other, not their children • It’s important to explain to a child how their life might change • Who • Where • Family relations • Lifestyles changes • Step-families • Different family dynamics (rules, chores, bedtime)

16. Schools play an important role in helping children make a positive adjustment to their parents’ divorce 4 Key elements to have successful family-school relationships • Approach • Attitude • Atmosphere • Action

17. The Four A’s I. Approach A. Two- way communication B. Appreciate family strengths C. Mutual problem solving II. Attitude A. Parent involvement as a continuum B. Your own attitudes III. Atmosphere A. Welcome all types of families B. Communication C. Sensitivity to family diversity IV. Action A. Provide resources B. Encouragement C. Classroom resources

18. Single Parenting Megan Tripp

19. Statistics • The 2003 Parent and Family Involvment in Education Survey of the National Household Education surveys Program (n= 12,426) shows that 28% of white students, 39% of Hispanic students, 69% of black students, and 36% overall live without their fathers. • In bivariate comparisons,absent-father status is associated with reduced well-being: worse health, lower academic achievment, worse educational experiences, and less parental involvment in school activities. • When socio-economic factors are controlled, father-absence is associated with small deficits of well being (Matthew DeBell)

20. Statistics cont. • Further, repeated scores from a community-based depressive symptoms measure embedded in the ethnographic inquiry show that the timing of parents’ traning and employment pathways economic conditions, and policies in firms and children’s schools intersect with parents’ depressive symptoms or depression to affect mobiliy. - ( Roberta Rehner Iversen) • The proportion of children living with a single parent is 23% for whites, 30% for hispanics, and 53% among blacks - (Bureau of the Census, 2005) • A consistent body of research has concluded that grrowing up in a single-parent family typically exposes adolecents to higher risk of school failure, taunt behavior, dropping out, teen pregnancy, delinquency, substance abuce, alcohol-related illnesses, and depression (Fine & Harvey, 2005; Marquait, 2005; Weitoft, Hijern, Highland & Rosend, 2003). ( Troy Beckert)

21. PARENT / TEACHER COMMUNICATION Academic and behavioral problems can be avoided if parents and teachers communicate on an ongoing basis. • Find a time early in the year to have an informal chat with the teacher. Share something from your own life and ask about the teachers interests outside of school. People learn to trust one another and find it easier to communicate when they get to know each other as individuals. • Find out the best way and time of day to contact the teacher and how the teacher will contact you - by notes, phone calls, e-mail • Be realistic about your work schedule. Tell the teacher when you will be able to attend a parent conference. If you are unable to accompany the class on a trip, for example, offer to participate in other ways such as sending along a snack. - (Susan Ginsberg)

22. ARE TEACHERS INCLUSIVE? • “Research by the late Susan Kontos of Purdue University showed also that teachers tend to be more critical of the families with the most stress in their lives already, such as divorced parents, single parents and those with both parents working. Although most teachers are working parents themselves, they may be judgmental about parents who miss school conferences or meetings or are unable to help out on a class trip or who may not pick up a sick child right away.” • Some working families may find their children's school to be less than accommodating. Meetings may be scheduled when parents are unable to take time off. As one working mom puts it: "They say they want us to be involved, but they don't walk the talk'."[Susan Ginsberg]

23. BUILDING PARENT-TEACHER PARTNERSHIPS • TEACHERS ACCEPT that working with parents is a crucial aspect of their job. • TEACHERS UNDERSTand the pressures parents are dealing with these days, when so many people are experiencing financial difficulties • BOTH TEACHERS AND PARENTS RECOGNIZE that they have a common goal: the success of the children.[Susan Ginsberg]

24. “Why should educators invest the time and effort necessary to understand families?” • Alma Flor Ada shares the following rationale for why educators and families should work together: "Students live in two worlds: home and school. If these two worlds do not recognize, understand, and respect each other, students are put in a difficult predicament and very little learning can take place." • Professionals must examine and determine the influences of their own backgrounds, cultures, attitudes, and experiences before they can understand the needs, experiences, and cultures of individual families. • Having an awareness of how socioeconomic status affects families can help educators be more responsive. • It is important to focus on the strengths of children and families, not the deficits, and to develop strategies around such strengths. - [Janet Arndt]

25. RESILIENCE • Caring and support were provided by at least one adult who knew the child well and cared deeply about that child's well-being • Positive expectations were articulated clearly for the child, and the support necessary to meet those expectations was provided • Meaningful involvement and participation provided the child the opportunity to become involved in something she cared about and to contribute to the well-being of others. • Critical elements in building resilience include a belief in a positive future and support from a loving community. • It is also important that parents and teachers teach children how to ask for help when they need it. - [Janice Patterson]

26. STRATEGIES FOR STRENGTHENING FAMILY RESILIENCE • *Effective communication, including problem solving and affirmation, is a critical variable for family success in facing routine and extraordinary challenges. • Deliberately structuring family time and rituals is another important strategy for strengthening resilience in families. • Resilient families take control of the routine for the purpose of establishing predictability and stability-critical elements to family balance. • Age-appropriate chores are an important aspect of building children's resilience and sense of self-worth. • Regular participation in sports leagues, faith-based activities, and parent-teacher organizations can bolster protective and recovery processes for the family. - [Janice Patterson]

27. Group Presentation Bibliography Megan Tripp Children Living Without Their Fathers: Population Estimates and Indicators of Educational Well-being Matthew DeBell.  Social Indicators Research.  Dordrecht:Jul 2008.  Vol. 87,  Iss. 3,  p. 427-443 (17 pp.)Early Childhood School Success: Recognizing Families as Integral Partners  Janet S Arndt,  Mary Ellen McGuire-Schwartz.  Childhood Education.  Olney:2008.  Vol. 84,  Iss. 5,  p. 281-285 (5 pp.)Parents' Work, Depressive Symptoms, Children, and Family Economic Mobility: What Can Ethnography Tell Us?  Roberta Rehner Iversen,  Annie Laurie Armstrong.  Families in Society.  New York:Jul-Sep 2007.  Vol. 88,  Iss. 3,  p. 339-350 (12 pp.)SINGLE MOTHERS OF EARLY ADOLESCENTS: PERCEPTIONS OF COMPETENCE  Troy E Beckert,  Paris S Strom,  Robert D Strom,  Kathryn Darre,  Ane Weed.  Adolescence.  Roslyn Heights:Summer 2008.  Vol. 43,  Iss. 170,  p. 275-90 (16 pp.)Sustaining Resilient Families for Children in Primary Grades  Janice Patterson,  Lynn Kirkland.  Childhood Education.  Olney:Fall 2007.  Vol. 84,  Iss. 1,  p. 2-7 (6 pp.)What you can do to start off and stay connected to your children's school  Susan Ginsberg.  Work & Family Life.  New York:Jul/Aug 2009.  Vol. 23,  Iss. 7/8,  p. 1-2 (2 pp.)________________________________________

28. Jordan McGee • Adoption/Foster care. About.com, 2009. Web. 8 Dec. 2009. <http://adoption.about.com/od/gaylesbian/f/gayparents.htm>. • The Complete Lesbian and Gay parenting Guide. New York: Berkley Group, 2004. Print. • Gantz, Joe. Whose Child Cries. Rolling Hills: Jalmar, 1983. Print. • Home Fronts. Los Angeles: Alyson Publications, 2000. Print. • Parents take force. Buddy buddy, 2009. Web. 8 Dec. 2009. <http://www.buddybuddy.com/parent.html>. • The Rights. New York: New York UP, 2004. Print.