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Resolving Conflict

Resolving Conflict. Azalea Coast Library Association Meeting – Pine Room - NorthEast October 25, 2016 Bob Pious, Facilitator. Agenda/Topics To Be Covered. What is Conflict Resolution? Why Should I Care? Reasons for Conflict in Organizations Crucial Conversations

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Resolving Conflict

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  1. Resolving Conflict Azalea Coast Library Association Meeting – Pine Room - NorthEast October 25, 2016 Bob Pious, Facilitator

  2. Agenda/Topics To Be Covered • What is Conflict Resolution? Why Should I Care? • Reasons for Conflict in Organizations • Crucial Conversations • Crucial Conversations Exercise • Wrap-Up • The “One Thing” – Take Away!

  3. What is Conflict Resolution ? The process by which two or more parties engaged in a disagreement, dispute, or debate reach an agreement resolving it.

  4. Skills Needed for Conflict Resolution: • Ability to view problems and issues from multiple perspectives • Strong problem-solving skills • Ability to empathize – perceive and understand the feelings and emotions of others • Active listening – restating and paraphrasing to confirm understanding • Control and manage emotions

  5. Sources of Conflict in Organizations: • Scarcity of resources • No dedicated conflict management expertise • Board members may lack expertise and talent • Roles and responsibilities get confused • Job descriptions may be unclear • Turnover may be high • Others? Why does Conflict Happen in Your Department?

  6. What is a Crucial Conversation ? A Crucial Conversation is when: • The Stakes are High • Emotions are Strong and • Opinions are Opposing

  7. “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” Ambrose Bierce

  8. Principles of Crucial Conversations • The Power of Dialogue • Start with Heart (Yourself) • Learn to Look (Safety is at Risk) • Master Your Stories

  9. Principles of Crucial Conversations The Power of Dialogue • Avoid the “Fool’s Choice” (either/or) • Dialogue – The free flow of meaning between two or more people • Dialogue Skills are Learnable!

  10. Principles of Crucial Conversations Start with Heart (Yourself) • Work on “Me” First, “Us” Second • Focus on What You Really Want • Refuse the “Fool’s Choice” (either/or)

  11. Principles of Crucial Conversations Learn to Look (Safety is at Risk) • Look for When Safety is “at Risk” • Look for Content and Conditions • Look for Your Style when Under Stress

  12. Your Style Under Stress In a Stressful Conversation, do you tend to: Mask? Control? Avoid? OR Label? Withdraw? Attack? WHY? Discuss in pairs

  13. Principles of Crucial Conversations Master Your Stories • Stories Create Feelings • Get in Touch with Your Feelings • Analyze Your Stories • Get Back to the Facts

  14. Master Your Stories Introduction: The Power of Mastering Your Stories (Video with Joseph Grenny) www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuJgqTs-G44

  15. Master Your Stories Three Types of “Clever Stories”: • “It’s Not My Fault” (Victim) • “It’s All Your Fault” (Villain) • “There’s Nothing Else I Can Do” (Helpless)

  16. Master Your Stories - Continued Ask Yourself These Questions About Your Story 1) Am I tending not to acknowledge my role in the problem? 2) What do I really want? What results? What relationship? 3) What should I do right now if I really wanted these outcomes?

  17. How to Have a Crucial Conversation Share Your Facts Tell Your Story Ask for Others’ Paths Talk Tentatively Encourage Testing

  18. Wrap-Up: • Step Back From Your Emotions • Ask Yourself – What Story am I Telling Myself? • Ask Yourself – What Do I Really Want? • “Just the Facts” • Practice your STATE Skills

  19. Sources and Resources • Crucial Conversations – Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler • Crucial Accountability – Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, David Maxfield, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler • Thanks for the Feedback – Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen • www.CrucialConversations.com/exclusive - (videos/resources)

  20. What is Your “One Thing” Take Away? • Review the Crucial Conversations Material • Select the “One Thing” You will Apply from Today’s Session – Using Hand-Out • Write it down – You will do WHAT by WHEN and ask WHO to hold you accountable?

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