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Resolving Conflict

Join the meeting in the Pine Room on October 25, 2016, to learn crucial skills for resolving conflicts, understand reasons behind organizational conflicts, and master principles of crucial conversations.

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Resolving Conflict

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  1. Resolving Conflict Azalea Coast Library Association Meeting – Pine Room - NorthEast October 25, 2016 Bob Pious, Facilitator

  2. Agenda/Topics To Be Covered • What is Conflict Resolution? Why Should I Care? • Reasons for Conflict in Organizations • Crucial Conversations • Crucial Conversations Exercise • Wrap-Up • The “One Thing” – Take Away!

  3. What is Conflict Resolution ? The process by which two or more parties engaged in a disagreement, dispute, or debate reach an agreement resolving it.

  4. Skills Needed for Conflict Resolution: • Ability to view problems and issues from multiple perspectives • Strong problem-solving skills • Ability to empathize – perceive and understand the feelings and emotions of others • Active listening – restating and paraphrasing to confirm understanding • Control and manage emotions

  5. Sources of Conflict in Organizations: • Scarcity of resources • No dedicated conflict management expertise • Board members may lack expertise and talent • Roles and responsibilities get confused • Job descriptions may be unclear • Turnover may be high • Others? Why does Conflict Happen in Your Department?

  6. What is a Crucial Conversation ? A Crucial Conversation is when: • The Stakes are High • Emotions are Strong and • Opinions are Opposing

  7. “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” Ambrose Bierce

  8. Principles of Crucial Conversations • The Power of Dialogue • Start with Heart (Yourself) • Learn to Look (Safety is at Risk) • Master Your Stories

  9. Principles of Crucial Conversations The Power of Dialogue • Avoid the “Fool’s Choice” (either/or) • Dialogue – The free flow of meaning between two or more people • Dialogue Skills are Learnable!

  10. Principles of Crucial Conversations Start with Heart (Yourself) • Work on “Me” First, “Us” Second • Focus on What You Really Want • Refuse the “Fool’s Choice” (either/or)

  11. Principles of Crucial Conversations Learn to Look (Safety is at Risk) • Look for When Safety is “at Risk” • Look for Content and Conditions • Look for Your Style when Under Stress

  12. Your Style Under Stress In a Stressful Conversation, do you tend to: Mask? Control? Avoid? OR Label? Withdraw? Attack? WHY? Discuss in pairs

  13. Principles of Crucial Conversations Master Your Stories • Stories Create Feelings • Get in Touch with Your Feelings • Analyze Your Stories • Get Back to the Facts

  14. Master Your Stories Introduction: The Power of Mastering Your Stories (Video with Joseph Grenny) www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuJgqTs-G44

  15. Master Your Stories Three Types of “Clever Stories”: • “It’s Not My Fault” (Victim) • “It’s All Your Fault” (Villain) • “There’s Nothing Else I Can Do” (Helpless)

  16. Master Your Stories - Continued Ask Yourself These Questions About Your Story 1) Am I tending not to acknowledge my role in the problem? 2) What do I really want? What results? What relationship? 3) What should I do right now if I really wanted these outcomes?

  17. How to Have a Crucial Conversation Share Your Facts Tell Your Story Ask for Others’ Paths Talk Tentatively Encourage Testing

  18. Wrap-Up: • Step Back From Your Emotions • Ask Yourself – What Story am I Telling Myself? • Ask Yourself – What Do I Really Want? • “Just the Facts” • Practice your STATE Skills

  19. Sources and Resources • Crucial Conversations – Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler • Crucial Accountability – Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, David Maxfield, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler • Thanks for the Feedback – Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen • www.CrucialConversations.com/exclusive - (videos/resources)

  20. What is Your “One Thing” Take Away? • Review the Crucial Conversations Material • Select the “One Thing” You will Apply from Today’s Session – Using Hand-Out • Write it down – You will do WHAT by WHEN and ask WHO to hold you accountable?

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