Money and Your Honey

1. Money and Your Honey Andy Trice Volunteer Financial Counselor Virginia Cooperative Extension Virginia Cooperative Extension

2. Who should be interested in this? • Anyone who shares some portion of their finances with anyone else • Married couples • Significant others • Family members • Housemates • Assumption: relationship is basically sound and workable Virginia Cooperative Extension

3. Objectives • Review opportunities and challenges of sharing finances • Understand interactions between money and relationships • Identify steps and tips for better “honey money management” • Values/goals-driven money management process • Tricks of the trade • Explore individual and shared values and goals relative to finances Virginia Cooperative Extension

4. Opportunities and Challenges • You can share/pool • Risks/Expenses • Rewards/Investments • Ideas/Support • You must be responsible for and reconcile • Multiple tastes/needs/wants • Multiple obligations • Multiple legal liabilities Virginia Cooperative Extension

5. Never forget….. • You don’t just have a “life” partner…… • …….you have a business partner as well! Virginia Cooperative Extension

6. Finances and Relationships Virginia Cooperative Extension

7. Sometimes money arguments are about something else…….. • Different values and goals • Different experiences • Communication style • Deeper needs • Security, control, self-image… • It can take some analysis to uncover root issue Virginia Cooperative Extension

8. Events with monetary and relationship implications • Life Events • Birth, Marriage, Divorce, Retirement, Illness.. • Work Events • Gain/loss of job, promotion, pension issues… • Financial Events • Windfall, market volatility, car breaks down, inflation…. • ADVICE: Plan ahead, consult with partner, don’t do anything rash if there is a sudden change Virginia Cooperative Extension

9. Handling money issues with your partner -- I • Mutual goals/values clarification is key • Before jumping to conclusions about partner’s motives/position, ask! • Step back and assess what is really required • Better communication/negotiation? • A new system/procedure/budget? • Outside expertise/additional investigation? Virginia Cooperative Extension

10. Example: Buying a car • I bought a nice car because I like nice cars and I spend a lot of time commuting to work. Why doesn’t he/she understand that? • I tried to buy a car and the down payment check bounced. We don’t know how this happened. • We want to buy a car and we both are feeling some stress because we don’t know whether to lease or buy, or how to get a good deal. Virginia Cooperative Extension

11. Handling money issues with your partner -- II • Better communication/negotiation • Do the goals/values clarification—formally or informally • Set financial and account ground rules • Take advantage of differences in “financial personalities” • Systems, procedures, and budgets • Efficient, comfortable division of labor and accounts • Getting organized and consistent in your approach • Technology (e.g. software, automated payments) might help • Outside expertise/additional investigation • See resources slide Virginia Cooperative Extension

12. (Joint) Exercises • Personal perceptions about money • Talk about money • Rank your goals • Choice test Virginia Cooperative Extension

13. Summary • Make your life partner your financial partner as well • Clarify and reconcile values and goals • Devise systems that work for the two of you Virginia Cooperative Extension

14. Resources • VA Cooperative Extension Financial Counseling Program • For goal setting and further exploration of alternatives • Financial planning professionals • For specific investment advice • Some specialize in helping couples with money issues • Internet resources • Too many to mention • Be careful Virginia Cooperative Extension

15. Questions and Answers • On presentation? • On handout materials? • On your personal situation? Virginia Cooperative Extension