The Jewish Wedding Ceremony Step-by-Step

1. The Jewish Wedding CeremonyStep-by-Step חתונה

2. Menu KabalatPanim AufRuf Tisch Bedeken SeudatMitzva MesameachChatanv’Kallah Chupah

3. Auf Ruf BacktoMenu

4. KabalatPanim BacktoMenu kallah Tenaim KabalatPanim

5. Tenaim BacktoKabalatPanim From the 12th to early 19th century, the tenaim were announced when two families had a match between their children. The official document, a pre-nuptual contract, was also called tenaim. After the document was signed, a piece of crockery was smashed. A current Ashkenazi tradition is that the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom break a plate. It shows the commitment in a marriage. A broken plate can never be fully repaired. Neither can a broken relationship.

6. What is KabalatPanim? BacktoKabalatPanim KabalatPanim literally means “greeting of the faces.” KabalatPanim is one of the ceremonies that happens before the chupah ceremony. The kallah is surrounded by her female relatives, friends and bridesmaids. She sits on a throne (fancy chair) decorated with flowers. She greets her guests and gives blessings as well as receives congratulations and warm wishes for her new life.

7. kallah - כלה BacktoKabalatPanim The kallah is the Hebrew word for a bride

8. Tisch BacktoMenu Ketuba Tisch

9. Explanation of the tisch Back to Tisch • The tisch is the Yiddish word for table. On the wedding day it is a custom for the chatan and the kallah to fast. The chatan usually sits around the table with his relatives and friends. At the tisch there is often alcohol on the table for the adults. The chatan gives words of Torah while his relatives and friends interrupt with jokes and other funny things. This makes the tisch a very happy time lifting the chatan’s mood.

10. Ketuba Back to Tisch • The Ketuba is the Jewish marriage contract. There are different traditions according to your synagogue and their form of Judaism. There has to be two witnesses who sign the ketuba, and there is likely to be a Rabbi supervising the signing.

11. Bedeken BacktoMenu What happens in bedeken? Origins of the Ceremony

12. What happens in bedeken? BacktoBedeken Bedeken happens right before chuppah. It is the groom, veiling the bride. You know what happened with Rachel and Leah, right? Well, they have the groom veil the bride so no such mistakes are made. The groom is escorted by his father and future father in-law, the rabbi(s), and other important people for the ceremony. He comes to the bride in her throne, veils her, and then gets escorted back to his own reception area by the men, in order to prepare for the approaching chuppah ceremony.

13. Biblical Reasons, Traditions, and Variations of the Bedeken Ceremony Back toBedeken Bedeken has many biblical meanings and reasons relating to the torah. One of the stories is when Leah veils herself during the wedding when she marries Jacob so he can’t see her face and see that she was not Rivkah. There is also another story that Rebecca veils herself when her husband, Isaac, is coming. She asks her servant, Eliezer, if it is Isaac that is coming toward them, and yes, it is. This is the moment where the tradition of the chatan veiling the bride. It is said that the process of bedeken is to never be done without the chatan in the presence of this intriguing ceremony, because without him being there, the veil has no meaning. When the objects were taken into the tabernacle, they were veiled before being taken by the Levites. The wedding ceremony isn’t that different. The chatan veils what is important to him for a holy and special ceremony. The special and precious items are veiled and then done with in a special way. The kallah is veiled and then is also done with in a special way as well. It is said that if you see Hashem, you will die. When Moshe goes up to mount Sainai to get the Ten Commandments he puts a veil over his face to not see the unseen. I think that it is related to the superstition of not seeing your spouse until the wedding day. When the chatan sees the kallah for the first time that day it is kind of like saying that each other’s love is so much that they don’t die but their love cannot be stopped and they are kind of just in their own world. There is also an opinion that is kind of related to the ketuba. When the father of the kallah signs over the responsibility of the kallah to the chatan, he makes a public statement that he will clothe and dress his wife and symbolizes that by veiling her. Some other things and traditions that are done around the ceremony of bedeken happen in the old Jerusalem community. They make sure that the veil is completely opaque so the bride cannot see nor have others seeing her. In some places and communities the rabbi veils the kallah instead of the chatan and says the blessing over her “O sister! May you grow into a thousand myrids.”

14. Chupah Back to Menu Erusin Nissuin Chupah Breaking the Glass

15. Nissuin Back to Chupah The actual marriage ceremony is marked by the recitation of the shevabrachot – seven blessings The Seven Blessings 1. Praised are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine. 2. Praised are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, Who created all things for Your glory. 3. Praised are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, Creator of man. 4. Praised are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, Who created man and woman in Your image, fashioning woman from man as his mate, that together they might perpetuate life. Praised are You, O Lord, Creator of man. 5. May Zion rejoice as her children are restored to her in joy. Praised are You, O Lord, Who causes Zion to rejoice at her children's return. 6. Grant perfect joy to these loving companions, as You did to the first man and woman in the Garden of Eden. Praised are You, O Lord, who grants the joy of bride and groom. 7. Praised are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, who created joy and gladness, bride and groom, mirth, song, delight and rejoicing, love and harmony, peace and companionship. O Lord our God, may there ever be heard in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem voices of joy and gladness, voices of bride and groom, the jubilant voices of those joined in marriage under the bridal canopy, the voices of young people feasting and singing. Praised are You, O Lord, Who causes the groom to rejoice with his bride.

16. Erusin Back to Chupah This is the first part of the wedding ceremony symbolizing the engagement of the couple. A long time ago, this part of the ceremony preceded the actual wedding by several months or more. The two parts of the erusin are blessings over the wine and the giving of the ring. There are two blessings. The first one is over wine. The second is as follows: "Blessed are You, Lord our God, Master of the Universe, Who has sanctified us with His commandments, and commanded us regarding forbidden unions, and Who forbad betrothed women to us, and permitted to us those married to us by huppah and kiddushin. Praised are You, Lord, Who sanctifies His people Israel with huppah and kiddushin." Then the bride and husband drink wine from the same cup. The chatan then places the ring on the index finger of the kallah and says, “Behold, by this ring you are consecrated to me as my wife according to the laws of Moses and Israel." At this point of the ceremony the ketuba is read aloud.

17. Explanation of the chupah Back to Chupah Chupah means “covering.” It symbolizes the house that the bride & groom will build together. The chupah is made out of usually silk or velvet supported by four staves and ordinarily held by four people. The chupah is mentioned in the Torah: “As a bridegroom goes forth from his chupah. Elsewhere it is stated: “Let the bridegroom proceed from his chamber and let the bride go forth from the chupah.” It also means that the bride & the groom are bonded together as husband & wife. The cloth was originally draped around the bride & groom but was later held above their heads. In some places, a tallit was draped over the couple or held above them. The canopy is considered an object of Jewish ceremonial art and attention is often lavished on it to create wonderful-looking chupot. The sages find a reference to the chupah in a passage in Avot, were it refers to the house that is open on all sides. They also found an allusion to weddings being held outdoors in biblical times in Jeremiah’s reference to “the sound of the bridegroom and the sound of the bride…in the cities of Judaea and in the courtyards of Jerusalem. It is likely that the chupah will be outdoors under the night sky, symbolizing G-d’s blessing to Abraham. G-d says: “I will greatly bless you, and I will exceedingly multiply your children as the stars in heaven.” A chupah is also related to a sukkah.

18. Breaking the Glass Back to Chupah The final ritual of the marriage is the breaking of the glass. Traditionally, the groom will shatter the glass by stepping on it. This is sometimes interpreted as a loud noise to chase away any demons that might hope to spoil the marriage. Most commentators think this custom is from incidents recorded in the Talmud where Mar and RavAshi smash costly glasses at their sons’ weddings. They felt that the loud dancing and celebrating were inappropriate in light of the destruction of the Temple. Another meaning is that the glass represents the couple and that when the glass brakes, it enters a state that it will never come out of, like the couple.

19. SeudatMitzva Back to Menu BirkatHamazon for a Wedding ShevaBrachot

20. ShevaBrachot Back to SeudatMitzva Shevabrachot is a smaller celebration that takes place in the week following the wedding for those who could not attend the wedding. In order to recite the shevabrachot, a minyan must be present. It can also be a way for a couple to get used to their new life with the company of extended family and community. Couples who do shevabrachot postpone their honey moon until after the shevabrachot feast. For a complete list of the brachot see the Nissuin page.

21. BirkatHamazon for a Wedding BacktoSeudatMitzva The BirkatHamazonmeans the grace after the meal. We recite it after meals to show that we are grateful to have food and not take it for granted. The shevabrachot (seven blessings) recited under the chupah are repeated once after the ceremony at the festive meal. The BirkatHamazonis said using one cup of wine, and the shevabrachot are recited with another cup of wine. After they are both done, the two cups of wine are mixed together and the chatan and kallah drink it together. We also say the BirkatHamazonin class because you can’t just recite it at a wedding, you should say it after every meal to show your gratitude to God.

22. MesameachChatanv’Kallah Back to Menu What is mesameachchatanv’kallah?

23. What is mesameachchatanv’kallah? BacktoMesameachChatanv’Kallah Sure the ceremony is fun, but the mitzva of misameachchatanv’kallah – bringing joy to the groom and bride- is amazingly fun and funny. One of the most familiar traditions is raising the bride and groom on chairs. They are also entertained by people at the wedding. The guests do all types of stuff. They might set their hat on fire, dance, sing, or perform a skit. In our diorama the bride’s grandma is doing the splits and you also see a little girl dancing. Whatever they do the goal is to entertain the happy couple.