Compiled by Suzanne Heslop

1. Adoptive parenting resourcesA resource guide for parents who have adopted a child with a past history of abuse or neglect Compiled by Suzanne Heslop

2. What to remember… A child healing from the trauma of past experiences with abusive caregivers needs a healthy family to provide the counterpoint of stable relationships without threats, violence or inconsistent responses to the child’s needs. Becker-Weidman, A., Shell, D. (2005) Creating Capacity for Attachment: Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy in the Treatment of Trauma-Attachment Disorders. Oklahoma City: Wood ‘N’ Barnes Publishing and Distribution.

3. In their book Creating Capacity for Attachment: Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy in the Treatment of Trauma-Attachment Disorders authors Arthur Becker-Weidman and Deborah Shell discuss the important role caregivers have in responding appropriately to the needs of their child. Ms. Shell states that "if a child is thirsty and needs hydration, giving her pretzels doesn't help her feel understood, nor does it reduce her thirst." Becker-Weidman, A., Shell, D. (2005) Creating Capacity for Attachment: Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy in the Treatment of Trauma-Attachment Disorders. Oklahoma City: Wood ‘N’ Barnes Publishing and Distribution. Is there a chance you may be giving your child pretzels when she may need water?

4. So…where do we go from here?

5. Adoptive Parenting • Learning how to understand what your child needs… • The following websites provide resources that adoptive parents may find helpful throughout the lifelong process of adoption. Below each link, there is a brief description of the information that is available at each specific website.

6. Child Welfare Information Gateway http://www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/ Adoptive parents can find information about what to expect at various developmental stages in their adopted child. Adoptive parents can also learn how to talk about adoption, address adoption issues in school, help children with grief and loss issues, recognize and get help for post-adoption depression, find needed services and obtain financial assistance. The website also provides suggestions on how to handle false allegations of child abuse and neglect and discusses the impact of adoption on adoptive parents.

7. Adopt Us Kids http://adoptuskids.org/ This website provides adoptive parents information on respite care and adoption support groups. Adopt Us Kids can also provide training and support on parenting after adoption. The site also includes a searchable database of adoption assistance by State, state lists of mental health service assistance programs and a list of web services that can help an adoptive parent locate health care assistance.

8. Adoptive families http://adoptivefamilies.com/ This is an award-winning national adoption magazine with links to several important issues in adoption, some of which include: telling the adoption story, siblings and adoption, family rituals and adoption and school. There are different articles related to adoption posted online daily.

9. Rainbow kids http://rainbowkids.com/ Adoptive parents can meet families, share their experiences, photos, and journey through adoption. Rainbow Kids hosts an Adoption Community which is a great place to find new friends with experiences in all types of adoption. A strong support system is imperative as an adoptive parent!

10. Adoption issues http://www.adoptionissues.org/ This website explores how families with adopted children face different challenges than those with just biological children. Articles on the website feature topics specifically for families with adoptees. This website also includes a daily blog for information relating to adoption, adopted teenagers and adoptive parents.

11. attach ATTACh.org. The Association for Treatment and Training in the Attachment of Children (ATTACh) was created to help families and society deal with critical attachment and bonding issues. ATTACh promotes a continuum of services to enhance the quality of attachments ranging from prevention and education, to specialized treatments. The site describes attachment, the importance of attachment and some signs and symptoms adoptive parents should be monitoring in their children.

12. Love and Logic http://loveandlogic.com/ Love and Logic is a parenting curriculum that provides simple and easy to use techniques to help parents have more fun and less stress while raising responsible kids of all ages. Love and Logic assists parents in resisting the urge to get into power struggles with their children. Oftentimes, adopted children demand control of their environment and this curriculum can assist adoptive parents in providing their child with some control while remaining in charge at home.

13. adopting http://www.adopting.org/ This website provides information and resources regarding adoption language, child health and development, parenting concerns, parenting in difficult situations, post adoption resources, practical help, support groups and how to better understand an adopted child.

14. Adoption network cleveland http://adoptionnetwork.org/ Adoption Network Cleveland serves all members of the adoption constellation and can assist adoptive families in strengthening their ties to one another. Adoption Network Cleveland can provide adoptive families with adoption navigators (to guide families through the adoption process and provide support once an adoption is finalized). Families can also be provided with an educational liaison, ongoing support and education.

15. Adoption http://www.adoption.com/ This website contains all things adoption: adoption articles, adoption blogs, adoption forums, information regarding adoption professionals and the most recent news in adoption. The website contains a vast amount of information regarding specific parenting topics as well as a new parent guidebook for adoptive parents.

16. Most importantly…when in doubt, stay calm and loving…no one is a perfect parent. And that is okay.

17. Web designer: Suzanne Heslop is a graduate student at case western reserve university/mandel school of applied social sciences in cleveland, Ohio. She has been working with children adopted internationally and domestically since 2003.