Love and Logic in the Early Childhood Classroom

1. Love and Logic in the Early ChildhoodClassroom Tips for Use with Young Children

2. Love and Logic Tip #1Dealing with Power Struggles • Gaining power is important for young children • Children in Early Childhood are striving for • autonomy • Avoid engaging children in power struggles • When an adult engages in a power struggle with a young child, the child has gained control and the behavior is reinforced. • Most children are looking for attention, either positive or negative. Power struggles with children give negative attention to the child. • Allowing a child to have control of an adult’s emotions gives the child too much power in the situation.

3. Love and Logic Tip #2How to Destroy the Teaching Value of a Logical Consequence • What is a Logical Consequence? • When delivering consequences, an adult must use empathy. • Never show your anger or disgust when giving a child a consequence • Don’t talk too much, lecture, or explain the consequence’s value • Always follow through with consequences; Do not feel sorry and give in • Do not come up with consequences as a way to “get even” or retaliate for the child’s behavior

4. Love and Logic Tip #3Rules for Giving Choices • Choices given to a child should only be choices that you like • Never give a choice unless you are willing to let the child experience the consequence • Choices are not to be given when the child’s safety is at risk • If a child doesn’t make a choice in 10 seconds, you need to choose for the child. • The delivery of the choice to the child is important: • You are welcome to….. • Feel free to….. • Would you rather….. • What would be best for you….

5. Love and Logic Tip #4Consequences with Empathy • Children, like adults, learn from their mistakes • To provide optimal learning from mistakes, children must experience consequences and receive empathy from adults in their lives • Many poor choices have natural consequences • When reprimanded by an adult, the learning may be lost • This happens because the child will deflect anger onto the adult and not experience the sorrow of making the poor choice • However, when empathy is provided, the likelihood of learning increases • This puts the “ball back in the child’s court”. The child can no longer blame the adult for their choice.

6. Love and Logic Tip #5Guiding Students to Solve Their Own Problems • Step 1: Empathy • “Bummer. I bet that makes you unhappy.” • Step 2: Send the “Power Message” • “What do you think you are going to do? I would like to hear your ideas.” • Step 3: Offer Choices • “Would you like to know what other kids have done?” • Step 4: Have the Student State the Consequences • “And how will that work?” • Step 5: Give the Permission for the Student to Either Solve the Problem or Not Solve the Problem • “Good Luck, I hope that works out!”

7. Love and Logic Tip #6AUsing Negative Assertion • It is difficult for a student to continue a power struggle, when the teacher won’t play his or her game. Negative assertion is a tool used to diffuse the power play. • “I know….what did I say.”

8. Love and Logic Tip #6BUsing Negative Assertion and Broken Record • Continue to use negative assertion to avoid power struggle with child.

9. Love and Logic Tip #7Gaining Control by Giving Some Away • Giving a child choices and control over his/her life can, in turn, give an adult more control. • Give children plenty of choices throughout the day that can help them gain control. • Children gain confidence and autonomy by making small choices throughout their day. • Giving choices when it is unimportant will increase the likelihood of compliance when it matters most. • Teachers can give away small amounts of control throughout daily routines in order to gain control of the children in their care.

10. Love and Logic Tip #8Thinking Words and Fighting Words • Love and Logic teachers ask questions and offer choices instead of setting limits and issuing commands. • Love and Logic helps children learn how to think for themselves. Teachers do not give children the answer, we encourage them to find the answers for themselves. • When a child makes the choices and finds the answers by themselves, the learning sticks with them. • Examples of Fighting Words vs. Thinking Words (pg 146)

11. Love and Logic Tip #9Choices vs. Threats • Threats may work for some children, but other children see them as a challenge. • Children given threats will become passive-aggressive, or passive resistive. • Passive-aggressive children will hurt you back. This can be physically or verbally. • Passive-resistive children will resist without making it obvious. These children do the task asked of them in an unpleasant or annoying way.

12. Love and Logic Tip #10Possible Choices in an Early Childhood Classroom • How can we easily share control in an early childhood classroom? • Would you like to whisper or talk quietly? • Would you like to read a book by yourself, or choose a friend to read with? • Would you like to pick up now, or in 5 minutes? • Would you like to clean up your things now or after your friends have started eating lunch? • Would you like to drink milk or juice with snack? • Other examples?

13. Love and Logic Tip #11Punishment vs. Discipline • Discussion over the difference between punishment and discipline • (pg 170) • We discipline to shape a child’s future. • Discipline is the more effective choice

14. Love and Logic Tip #12Four Steps to Responsibility • 1. Give a student the chance to act responsibly. • Let the child make the decision. • 2. Hope and pray the student makes a mistake. • Allow “real-world” learning experiences for the child. • Allow the child to experience the consequences. • 3. Stand back and allow consequences, accompanied by liberal doses of empathy, to do the teaching. • Students need to learn that their mistakes hurt them. • Providing empathy of sorrow will increase the chance of the child reflecting on his/her role in the mistake. • 4. Give the same task again. • Send the message to the child that you have confidence that they have learned from their mistake and will make a better decision.

15. Love and Logic Tip #13Styles of Teaching • Helicopters • Life is rotated around their students. • Do all of children’s thinking and work for them • Send a message to students that they are helpless. • Drill Sergeants • Give out orders • Turn up volume and threaten • Command the children to follow instructions • Send a message to students that they are incapable of thinking for themselves • Consultants • Listen and provide choices • Sympathize with child’s situation • Leave the decision to the person with the problem • Send the message that the child is strong and wise enough to handle rough parts of life. Also, that the teacher cares about the student enough to encourage them while they learn.

16. Love and Logic Tip #14Affordable Price Tags • Children must learn to make choices while they are young and the consequences are not as severe. • It is better to help children learn to fail before failure can be life altering.

17. Love and Logic Tip #15A Core of Beliefs • Review UCD’s set of core beliefs that were picked in August 2010. • Do you follow these core beliefs in the classroom? • How can you tweak your classroom management style to meet the core beliefs?

18. Love and Logic Tip #16When Consequences Don’t Work • Questions to ask yourself: • Did I implement the consequence with compassion? • Was I in the emotional state when I implemented the consequence? • Did I deliver the consequence in a questioning manner? • Did I try to reason with the student while he/she was still in the emotional state? • Did I tie the time and location of the violation to the consequence? • Did I use the consequence to get even with the student? • Did I use a consequence when a disciplinary intervention would have solved the problem instead? • Did I implement the consequence immediately? (pg 277)

19. Love and Logic Tip #17Setting Limits • Give choices and allow consequences to avoid turning limit-setting into a battle for control • Ways to ensure that you are setting effective limits: • Choose your battles….is this limit needed? • Consequences are possible and enforceable • Enforcement of the consequence will change the behavior • Common mistakes teachers make when setting limits • They can not enforce the limits • Do not consider consequences in advance • Limits are stated as demands • Limits have not been approved by the building administrator • Remember plug the holes before the boat starts to sink!!

20. Love and Logic Tip Wrap Up and Discussion • As an early childhood teacher you have a great responsibility to provide children with a safe and nurturing environment in which to build the foundation of learning. • You are cheating a child out of learning experiences when you give them the answers to all of the problems encountered on a daily basis. • Remember, everything you do in an early childhood classroom is part of the curriculum. Early childhood children are learning each and every moment of the day!