Paragraphs, Commas, and Semicolons

Paragraphs, Commas, and Semicolons WRITING 1 Week 4 Dr. Steven Funk

T = Topic Sentence This sentence tells the topic of the paragraph E = Evidence (Examples) In an argumentative paper, these sentences would provide evidence in the form of support or counterarguments to be addressed In a narrative paper, specific examples full of thick and rich description should be provided S = Summary This is the last sentence that summarizes what the paragraph was about - this summary sentence can also help to transition into the subsequent paragraph in a paper T = Transitions Transitions are adverbs and prepositional phrases that show relationships between sentences by showing a sense of time passing, similarity, contrast, and/or cause and effect TEST - the elements of a good paragraph

Let’s look at the TEST elements in a sample paragraph! Peddling On My Own Learning how to ride a bike for the first time was a nerve racking independent moment. I was about five years old when my sister informed me that I was too old to ride a bike with training wheels. That was when I decided not to depend on them anymore. Even though I had some doubt, my sister and I went outside and started to take the little wheels off my bike. After my bike went through the transformation, I was now ready for the big moment. With butterflies in my stomach, I slowly got on the bike, and with my shaky hands, I gripped the handles tightly. Meanwhile, my sister was holding on to me to help keep my balance. I was afraid she would let go, yet I was determined to ride this bike on my own. Next with a little push from her, I started to peddle. The faster my bike went, the faster my heart raced. Finally, I looked back nervously and noticed that my sister let go of my bike a long time ago. I was so excited that I accomplished freedom on my bike that I forgot to peddle. The next step I remember, I was lying on the ground; however, I did not care because of the adrenaline rush. I will never forget the exhilarating moment and growing up stage of riding a bike without training wheels.

Look for these elements: Topic Sentence Examples Summary Transitions I have color coded them to make them obvious.

Let’s look at the TEST elements in a sample paragraph! Peddling On My Own Learning how to ride a bike for the first time was a nerve racking independent moment.I was about five years old when my sister informed me that I was too old to ride a bike with training wheels. That was when I decided not to depend on them anymore. Even though I had some doubt, my sister and I went outside and started to take the little wheels off my bike. After my bike went through the transformation, I was now ready for the big moment. With butterflies in my stomach, I slowly got on the bike, and with my shaky hands, I gripped the handles tightly. Meanwhile, my sister was holding on to me to help keep my balance. I was afraid she would let go, yet I was determined to ride this bike on my own. Next with a little push from her, I started to peddle. The faster my bike went, the faster my heart raced. Finally, I looked back nervously and noticed that my sister let go of my bike a long time ago. I was so excited that I accomplished freedom on my bike that I forgot to peddle. The next step I remember, I was lying on the ground; however, I did not care because of the adrenaline rush.I will never forget the exhilarating moment and growing up stage of riding a bike without training wheels.

Look for these elements: Topic Sentence - Learning how to ride a bike for the first time was a nerve racking independent moment.This is what the whole paragraph is about. Examples - The examples in a narrative are all the details. The author reveals their fear, their struggle, and their exhilaration. Summary - I will never forget the exhilarating moment and growing up stage of riding a bike without training wheels. This is very similar to the topic sentence, but it reminds us of what we read and shows that this memory is significant to the author. Transitions That was when reminds reader of previous sentence Even thoughshows contrast After my bike went through the transformation shows the passage of time With butterflies in my stomachdetailed description of sensation Meanwhileshows something happening simultaneously Next with a little push from her shows the passage of time Finallybrings us to a conclusion The next step I remember foreshadows the fall and the feeling of triumph

Now that we’ve seen the elements of TEST, let’s look at why the commas were where they were. COMMAS Even though I had some doubt, my sister and I went outside and started to take the little wheels off my bike. Dependent Clause, + Independent Clause Even though I had some doubt = Dep. Clause my sister and I went outside and started to take the little wheels off my bike = Ind. Clause We highlight the introduction of the independent clause following a dependent clause by placing a comma before it. We want the reader to know where the most important part of the sentence is

Now that we’ve seen the elements of TEST, let’s look at why the commas were where they were. COMMAS I was so excited that I accomplished freedom on my bike that I forgot to peddle. Independent Clause + Dependent Clause I was so excited = Ind. Clause that I accomplished freedom on my bike = Noun clause that I forgot to peddle= Noun clause for more on noun clauses, refer to: http://www.showme.com/sh/?h=WNxvi9Q These noun clauses are the direct objects of the verb “was excited” (“so” is an adverb indicating degree) I was so excited that I accomplished freedom on my bike. I was so excited that I forgot to peddle. SO and THAT should always be used together.

Now that we’ve seen the elements of TEST, let’s look at why the semicolon was used. SEMICOLONS The next step I remember, I was lying on the ground; however, I did not care because of the adrenaline rush. The next step I remember= Dep. Clause I was lying on the ground = Ind. Clause however, I did not care = Ind. Clause because of the adrenaline rush = Dep. Clause We need a semicolon between two closely related independent clauses. Otherwise, we’d have a run-on.

Now let’s look at your assessment paragraphs This advertisement is using sex to sell beer.Just like most beer commercials or advertisements it is implying that if you drink "our" brand, you can get lucky and score with a dame as attractive as this one. Also,expect good relaxation time or vacationing on white sands and clear waters.Enjoy Cristal Beer, sexy women, and exotic beaches. This paragraph shows a strong first attempt to analyze the beer commercial. By the summary, however, the paragraph is instructing the reader to enjoy the beer. The purpose of the paragraph was merely to analyze the add. Notice how the summary sentence and the topic sentence are not aligned.

Now let’s look at your assessment paragraphs The obvious, a golden ratio woman. Baring a vibrant yellow swimsuit that compliments her glow, creating a focal point on her and her reflection (the beer bottle). Noticed where she is, laying effortlessly on white sand with crisp blue skies surrounding her world.This image tells a story, beautiful women along beautiful weather can only mean one thing, that beer has got to be the most beautiful tasting adult beverage known to man, and now I want one or two.I also feelthe ad is targeting men due to the fact it's a gorgeous woman in the ad flaunting sex appeal enticing men to drink this brand of beer. This paragraph needs some organizational help. The topic sentence is buried in the middle. The first sentence is actually a fragment. There is very little effort to move the reader from one thought to the next using transitions.

Now let’s look at another assessment paragraph While some may argue that this Crystal beer advertisement glamorizes the model, I argue that it only objectifies a woman to sell beer. The reflection of the model’s body in ocean water is a beer bottle, hinting that the women is nothing but an object. Moreover, her yellow bikini makes her match the reflection of the Crystal beer bottle in the water. Compounding the effects of the model’s reflection and bikini color, the advertisement suggests that a beer drinker may consume the model while drinking the beer. This suggests that beer drinkers are people who are sexually attracted to women who look like this model. Overall, the advertisement reinforces stereotypes about beer consumers while treating the model as an object.

Now let’s look at another assessment paragraph While some may argue that this Crystal beer advertisement glamorizes the model, I argue that it only objectifies a woman to sell beer.The reflection of the model’s body in ocean water is a beer bottle, hinting that the women is nothing but an object. Moreover, her yellow bikini makes her match the reflection of the Crystal beer bottle. Compounding the effects of the model’s reflection and bikini color, the advertisement suggests that a beer drinker may consume the model while drinking the beer. This suggests that beer drinkers are people who are sexually attracted to women who look like this model.Overall,the advertisement reinforces stereotypes about beer consumers while treating the model as an object.

Now let’s look at another assessment paragraph While some may argue that this Crystal beer advertisement glamorizes the model, I argue that it only objectifies a woman to sell beer.The reflection of the model’s body in ocean water is a beer bottle, hinting that the women is nothing but an object. Moreover, her yellow bikini makes her match the reflection of the Crystal beer bottle. Compounding the effects of the model’s reflection and bikini color, the advertisement suggests that a beer drinker may consume the model while drinking the beer. This suggests that beer drinkers are people who are sexually attracted to women who look like this model.Overall,the advertisement reinforces stereotypes about beer consumers while treating the model as an object. This paragraph is solid. It opens with the topic sentence that provides a counterargument. Then, it provides specific examples from the advertisement to support its claim. It uses transitional phrases and words to link ideas and then summarizes the argument. Notice that the summary statement is a more developed and specific way of phrasing the topic sentence.

PREPARE FOR CLASS NEXT WEEK • Be sure to check your work on the worksheets. I will post the corrected commas and semicolons worksheets. Contact me if you need help understanding how to see the “track changes” in Microsoft Word. Or, ask the instructor working with you on Microsoft Word. 2) Be sure to write another descriptive paragraph for your narrative essay and email it to me by next Monday, 4.17. 3) Be sure to look at the MLA formatted paragraph I posted for this week. It shows you how your homework should look when you submit it. There is also the MLA tutorial provided for you on Moodle under “Week 2.” 4) Be in touch with questions and concerns - you’re all very quiet (too quiet)!

Turn in your work! I can’t help you if I can’t see your writing. I am here to help you achieve your goals, not to make you write as I do. Once I see your vision, I can help you express your ideas more clearly. The majority of all of your college courses will include a writing component, so learning to write for college will set you up for success. See you Tuesday, 4.18 Steven.Funk1@msubillings.edu StevenFunk@ucla.edu

Paragraphs, Commas, and Semicolons