Managing Conflict and Change: Enhancing Morale and Team Building

1. MANAGING CONFLICT and CHANGE TO ENHANCE MORALE and TEAM BUILDING Steve Puckett, SHRM-SCP, SPHR Director, Corporate Human Resources

2. All relationships, personal and professional, experience some kind of conflict… • Normal, • Natural, • Sometimes even necessary for growth and development. Let’s discuss some ways to manage conflict and look at change as a friend.

3. MYTHS AND TRUTHS ABOUT CONFLICT Myths: • Conflict is only at work. • Conflict is dysfunctional in the workplace. • Conflict represents a communication breakdown. • If avoided, conflict will eventually go away. • Conflict always results in a winner and a loser.

4. MYTHS AND TRUTHS ABOUT CONFLICT Truths: • Conflict will occur • 42% of leader’s time • Communication is a must • Don’t stop talking until a solution is reached

5. MYTHS AND TRUTHS ABOUT CONFLICT Truths continued: • Conflict can help build relationships • Conflict can be a motivator for change • Most conflicts can be managed • Most people deal with conflict by… • Fight or Flight

6. Manager’s Greatest Mistakes in Conflict Resolution • Ignoring the situation • Most common response • It will only get worse • Conflict seldom resolves on its own • Becoming aggressive • “In your face”

7. Negative Styles of Conflict • Firecracker • Blow up to sudden anger • Usually apologize • You know it will happen again • Cold Shoulder • Two people who take pride in not communicating with each other • Contest to see who can hold out the longest • Backstabbing • Positive to your face/knife in the back

8. Negative Styles of Conflict • Social Zinger • Throw verbal darts in front of others • The “I was just teasing” syndrome • Trivia Fights • Those who battle over the little things • Fight over the details • Seldom get to the real issues • Having the Last Word • Must have the last remark • Conflict is seldom over

9. Ingredients of Conflict • Diversity • People who think differently than I do • Different cultures • Social Similarity • Differences • Ways that we prefer to act and behave • Needs • Ignoring the other party’s needs • Confusing needs and desires

10. Ingredients of Conflict • Perceptions • Self-perceptions • Perceptions of the other party • Perceptions of threat • Power • Wanting to control behaviors in others • Inflexibility • Generations

11. The Generations Baby Boomer Gen X Millennial Traditionalist 40M 81.5M 61M 85.4M

12. Why are there 81.5 million Boomers and only 61 million Xers?

13. Birth control pill dispenser pic

14. The Largest Difference Between Generations Baby Boomers vs. Millennials (Gen Y)

15. Baby Boomers Rode in the back of pick up trucks Drank out of garden hoses “Hand-me-down” baby cribs with 12 coats of lead paint Gen Y’s Children remain in car seats till age 21 Flavored life water (high tech bottled water) Space age crib with 60 moving parts. No blankets. Must sleep on backs. Baby Boomers vs. Gen Y’s

16. Baby Boomers Long trips – put kids in back dash of car Teachers had paddles with holes Gen Y’s Each child has their own row of van seats with separate DVD players Parents permission required for time outs Baby Boomers vs. Gen Y’s

17. Baby Boomers Summer jobs beginning at age 10 Only champions got awards and trophies Always had 10 cents for phone call Gen Y’s On allowance till 3rd marriage Losers get trophies Each child has own iPhone Baby Boomers vs. Gen Y’s

18. Baby Boomers 1 TV, 3 channels with rabbit ears Gen Y’s TV in every room, 300 channels, kids are only one who can operate remote Baby Boomers vs. Gen Y’s

19. Next Generation of Leaders“Generation Z”

20. Examples of phrases and behaviors that let you know conflict is going on among your people • Avoiding personal contact • Shouting • Others

21. Passive Behaviors • Writing emails vs. talking • Withholding needed information • Not returning messages • Delay giving required support

22. Aggressive Behaviors • Getting others to take sides • Shouting • Threatening • Undermining other’s reputation

23. Unintentional Behaviors • Sweaty palms • Nervous gestures • Closed body posture • Tense facial expressions • Tears

24. Sources Of Organizational Conflict • Change • Conflicting Goals & Objectives • Limited Resources • The Domino Effect

25. Managing Conflict • Competition (unilateral decision making) • Emergency situations • Decisive action • Implementing unpopular change • When other methods fail

26. Managing Conflict • Accommodation (allowing the other side to win) • Preserving the relationship vs arguing the issue • When the issue is more important to the other person • When you want others to express their own point of view • When you want others to learn by their own choices

27. Managing Conflict • Avoidance (decision to not handle) • If others can resolve conflict more effectively • If both parties see the issue as minor • If additional time is required • If both parties need a cooling off period

28. Managing Conflict • Compromise (“win” on both sides) • To reach agreement when both sides have equal power • To find common ground when both parties have competing goals • To achieve a temporary settlement on a complex issue • To reach a solution due to time pressures

29. Managing Conflict • Collaboration (through team input) • Merging experiences from people having different backgrounds • Being creative to explore solutions • Looking for solutions where there may not be much conflict

30. Developing Your Communication Skills All conflict can be resolved by communication. Utilize the three W’s of communication • Who • Always communicate with the key person(s) • When • Discuss the issue within 24 hours • This is not necessarily “the sooner the better” • Prepare your thoughts • Where • Consider a neutral location • Equal footing

31. Resolving Conflict Begins with Listening • Basic Acknowledgements • Non-verbal responses • Silence • We are better speakers than listeners • Use silence to get a response from someone • Questions • It tells the speaker you’re interested • It says you want “more”

32. Resolving Conflict Begins with Listening • Paraphrasing • It verifies the content • Let the speaker finish speaking first • If the speaker indicates you misunderstood, ask them to repeat • ~ DON’T OVERUSE PARAPHRASING

33. Criticism and Conflict • Constructive Criticism • Usually applied to performance that needs improvement • Focus on the issue, not the person • Plan ahead and handle carefully • Sandwich method • Performance appraisals

34. Criticism and Conflict • Destructive Criticism • Intentionally used • Causes conflict • Attacks the person vs. performance or behavior • Commonly used in politics • Usually a result of anger

35. Eight Steps to Conflict Resolution • Create an effective atmosphere • Preparation • Allow time • Avoid distractions • Pick a non-threatening place • Choose carefully initial comments, atmosphere of partnership • Your turn/My turn

36. Eight Steps to Conflict Resolution Your Turn/My Turn Your Turn: • You go first • Disarms the other person • Activate your listening skills • Paraphrase My Turn: • May I give my side of the story? • Describe problems without blaming

37. Eight Steps to Conflict Resolution 2. Clarify perceptions • Is conflict an isolated event or another in a long list? • Identify what the conflict is about and what it is not about • Organize the points of the conflict from major to minor

38. Eight Steps to Conflict Resolution 3. Focus on individual and shared needs • Don’t confuse needs with desires • Always put yourself in the place of the other party • Identify areas of common interest

39. Eight Steps to Conflict Resolution 4. Look to the future ~ not the past • Don’t let the past rule your thinking • Learn from the past – • Remind each other of past positive times

40. Eight Steps to Conflict Resolution • Avoid the “HOT” buttons • Politics • Abortion • Religion • Sexual Preference • Ex-spouses • Practice the Power of Forgiveness

41. Eight Steps to Conflict Resolution 5. Generate options • Prepare some options in advance • Focus on options that deal with shared needs • Seek options and common ground from other party • Value past experiences

42. Eight Steps to Conflict Resolution 6. Develop “doables” and stepping stones • Pick the low hanging fruit first • Start with the small steps • Doables are not ends, only steps

43. Eight Steps to Conflict Resolution 7. Strive for mutual benefit agreements • Establish a partnership on the issue • Create a new beginning • Focus on solutions ~ not blame

44. Eight Steps to Conflict Resolution • Flexibility - key to conflict resolution • Be conciliatory • Apologizing • Conceding • Expressing positive feelings for the other • Initiating a win-win approach

45. Agreeing to Disagree • Maintain professionalism • Give equal access to your common ground • Know when to seek a facilitator or mediator

46. MANAGING CHANGE

47. 20-50-30 Rule 20% of employees are “change friendly” 50% of employees are “fence sitters” 30% of employees are “resisters” The “resisters” make the most noise and require the majority of your time. Spend your time wisely with the “fence sitters.”

48. Communicate the Rationale for Change • Relate the need for change to your “core values” • Never assume everyone understands

49. Choose your initial moves carefully • Change Can Easily Make Enemies • Plan Your Communication • Major Change – announce everything • Subtle Change – begin slowly

50. Take Care of the “Me” Issues • Everyone wants to know - what’s in it for me? • Will I still have a job? • Am I taking a cut in pay? • Am I going to lose anything? • These issues must be addressed up front. • Sometimes no info is as bad as wrong info.