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HELPING FAMILIES IN THE CRITICAL POST-ADOPTION PERIOD

HELPING FAMILIES IN THE CRITICAL POST-ADOPTION PERIOD. Course Objectives. To understand the impact of early trauma on the child’s ability to attach To recognize the existence of the “Adoption Triad” though out the life cycle of adoption To identify the core issues of every adoption

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HELPING FAMILIES IN THE CRITICAL POST-ADOPTION PERIOD

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  1. HELPING FAMILIES IN THE CRITICAL POST-ADOPTION PERIOD

  2. Course Objectives • To understand the impact of early trauma on the child’s ability to attach • To recognize the existence of the “Adoption Triad” though out the life cycle of adoption • To identify the core issues of every adoption • To develop effective treatment plan goals and interventions to support attachment and normalize the core issues.

  3. What is the “Adoption Triad”? • The biological family, the child and the adoptive family form the Adoption Triad • The Adoption Triad will never go away – it is always there • Everyone in the Adoption Triad experiences loss • Dealing with loss is goal of Post Adoption Work

  4. “Lion – A Long Way Home”Lessons Learned • Who is in the Adoption Triad? • Why did Saroo not tell his adoptive parents about his search? • How did his adoptive parents react when they did find out? • How did he know it was his biological mother when he did find her?

  5. What are the Common Myths of Adoption? • Being adopted is no different than being born into a family • Once child knows s/he is adopted, issue is resolved • There are valid reasons for not telling a child s/he is adopted or withholding information about the child’s birth family, history, etc. • “Love is enough”

  6. What Else? • Infant adoptees do not grieve the loss of the birth family and heritage • Being “chosen” by adoptive families creates secure relationships

  7. How Do Myths Interfere with Successful Adoptions? • Because they are “myths” – there is no quick fix or magic pill • Adoption is a lifelong journey the Adoption Triad takes together but separately • Normalizing this journey for the Triad is the central tenet of adoption work • The critical premise for treatment is that issues adoptive families face are “normative” and will always occur. It does not mean that the adoption will fail

  8. So What Do We Teach Adoptive Parents about the “Foster Care Dilemma”? • A child in the child welfare system is impacted by the trauma of his/her family history • AND by the experiences he/she experiences in the system after removal. We call this “System Trauma” and it is very real

  9. What Have We Learned So Far About our Children Adopted from the Child Welfare System? • Common denominators in their stories: Early parental abuse or neglect History of substance abuse and domestic violence Multiple entries into the child welfare system Trauma is often misdiagnosed as behavioral issues ACE scores of at least six

  10. What Happens to Youth in the Child Welfare System? • Parents often missing or unavailable • Child is often separated from siblings • Multiple moves, multiple case managers, multiple care providers, multiple everybody • Child has no sense of family, community, consistency

  11. How Does this Affect the Ability of the Child to Attach? • The child does not have a connection with a consistent, caring adult • The child does not perceive adults as nurturers • The child may develop some maladaptive ways of self-nurturing • The child may close self off from a need for intimacy as a protection from hurt

  12. How Does the “Adoption Triad” Affect Attachment? • The Adoption Triad – the biological family, the child, and the adoptive family – are always there throughout the life cycle of the family • The child may not have clear memories of the biological family, BUT, it is “A pain perfectly felt for something imperfectly remembered” • The child may fantasize his ideal biological family – making attachment to the adoptive family difficult

  13. The Blind Side – Who Was in This Adoption Triad?

  14. But How Did Hollywood Present This Story? And Why? • Michael Orr spent a lot of his childhood in foster care or alone on the street • His mother was a drug addict. He was separated from his siblings and ran away from his foster homes multiple times • He was taken in by the Tuoey family one night when they saw him wandering the streets • He was eventually adopted by this family and became a football star • When interviewed about his life, what and who does he talk about?

  15. So What Do We Do?“We Are All the Sum of our Days” • We start by recognizing the effect that the child’s experiences have had on their ability to trust and attach to anyone who tries to help them. • A child neglected or abused from an early age will have an impaired ability to attach and trust.

  16. So What is our Treatment Strategy? • Normalize, validate and support • Family Systems approach is essential – this is not just the child’s problem • Address the core issues of all adoptions • Help the family understand the issues caused by impaired attachment – the “foster care dilemma” • Help to set “realistic expectations”

  17. What Causes Attachment Issues? • Any of the following conditions put a child at high risk of developing attachment issues. The critical period is from conception to about twenty-six months of age. • maternal ambivalence toward pregnancy • sudden separation from primary caretaker (i.e.., illness or death of mother or sudden illness or hospitalization of child) • abuse (physical, emotional, sexual) • frequent moves and or placements (foster care, failed adoptions)

  18. What Causes Attachment Issues? • (Continued . . .) • traumatic prenatal experience, in-utero exposure to alcohol/drugs • neglect • genetic disposition • birth trauma • undiagnosed and/or painful illness, such as colic or ear infections • inconsistent or inadequate day care • unprepared mothers with poor parenting skills

  19. How Does Attachment Work? • The brain of a young child is hard-wired to attach • Baby and caretaker wire together in the first two years of life • All learning takes place in the context of the baby/caretaker relationship

  20. Early Development Is Critical for Attachment! • Most (50%) of what we need to know for life is learned in the first year of life! • Another 25% is learned in the second year of life! • From the age of three on, only 25% of life’s survival skills are added.

  21. So How is a Child Affected by Removal? • Any child removed and placed in foster care experiences disrupted attachment • The child removed in the first three years of life experiences profound disruption – all learning in the first three years of life takes place within the context of a caring adult • All children in foster care have some level of “Disordered Attachment”

  22. Disordered Attachment is NOT Reactive Attachment Disorder! • Very few children actually meet the criteria for Reactive Attachment Disorder • Most children have at least one attachment figure in the early years • If the attachment figure does not consistently meet the child’s needs, the child may have disordered attachment

  23. Is Disordered Attachment Reversible? • Absolutely! But the issue is trust. • The child must learn that adults can be trusted to nurture. • Most of the children in foster care did not start life with nurturing caretakers. (So they expect nothing from you.)

  24. So What Can You Do? • Recognize that this is going to slow work • Disordered attachment comes from disappointment • Do not disappoint – be consistent! • Help the family deal with the core issues of all adoptions

  25. So How Do We Help? • Considering Treatment Options • Family systems work is imperative • Timeliness of treatment – start as soon as possible – do not wait for a crisis • Focus on attachment and loss issues first • Normalize the core issues of adoption – they are going to happen and the family will be able to deal with them

  26. Rules for the Adoptive Family in Treatment • This is always a family issue – the child does not exist in a vacuum • Dealing with the core issues is normal in every adoption • The existence of core issues continues throughout the life cycle of the family. This is normal • Loss in the Adoption Triad must be honored

  27. The Most Important Rule of All • If the child grieves for a bio family, it does not diminish the child’s love for the adoptive family • The child will eventually search for his/her biological family – social media makes that inevitable.

  28. The Adoptive Family Needs Someone to Show Them the Way • The way to a successful navigation of the Post-Adoptive Period. You can be that guide.

  29. Career opportunities with Circle of Friends We’re hiring! Circle of Friends Services is a premier Community Mental Health Center. Services in Volusia, Orange, Osceola, Hillsborough, Pasco, Manatee and Sarasota counties. This is an Independent Clinical Contractor position. We offer free LMHC and LCSW licensure supervision and free training hours. To apply go to: http://www.cofsfl.org/careers.php or email your resume to: bdefazzio@cofsfl.org

  30. Let’s Be Friends! www.cofsfl.org, or bedefazzio@cofsfl.org Facebook Circle of Friends Services You Tube Circle of Friends Services

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