Mentor a Student Make a Difference

1. Mentor a StudentMake a Difference Howell Middle Schools Staff Mentor Self-Training Booklet

2. Training Objectives After completing this training staff will: • Understand the basics of mentoring. • Understand the structure of our school based mentoring program. • Understand mentoring “tools” that help to facilitate the mentoring relationship. • Understand the procedure in handling problem situations should they arise during the mentoring relationship.

3. About Mentoring Definition A mentor is a concerned and caring adult volunteer who provides a young person with support, counsel, friendship, reinforcement and constructive example. • How Mentoring Helps • Studies indicate that when kids are mentored: • 46% are less likely to get into drugs • 59% get better grades • 73% raise their goals The Mentor’s Role What a Mentor is: a guide a friend a listener a coach a responsive adult What a Mentor isn't:     a savior     a foster parent     a therapist     a parole officer     a cool peer

4. Mentoring ToolsHow to facilitate the mentoring relationship 1. Having Unconditional Respect for a Student Definition: prizing others just because they are human beings. • Regard for the student as unique. • Regard for the student’s self-determination. • Assuming the student’s good will. • Maintaining Confidentiality. • Attentive physical presence. • Suspending critical judgment • 2. Active Listening • Definition: listening, understanding and communicating that understanding to the student. • Involves: • Observing and reading the student’s non-verbal behavior- posture, facial expression, movement, tone of voice, etc. • Listening to and understanding the student’s verbal messages • Communicating a summary of your listening back to the student: “You are saying everything is OK but you seem very uncomfortable. What’s up?”

5. S. O. L. E. R. 3. Attending Skills Definition: Orienting oneself physically and psychologically to another person to communicate personal regard and involvement. The following acronym SOLAR is used to define these skills Face the individual squarely. Adopt an open posture. Lean toward the individual Maintain good eyecontact Try to be relatively relaxed 4. Modeling • Definition: A positive effect obtained indirectly through observing how another individual deals with certain situations and choices in life. • Provides students with the invaluable opportunity of witnessing the behaviorof a responsible adult. • Use appropriate self-disclosure for example: “That happened to me once, too. This is how I handled it…” • Modeling has life long effects: “I still remember what Mr. Jones used to say about things like this…” • “Planting the seed” theory: kids may not use what you tell them until years later – so don’t feel your work is fruitless!

6. Referral Process and Assignment Student referred by Guidance Counselor or I&RS Team or other staff member Student assigned to staff mentor Pertinent student information shared with mentor Mentor and Student meet as arranged by Guidance, Administration, SAC or I&RS Team Mentoring begins by mentor scheduling a day each week to have lunch with the student. Mentoring will continue throughout school year unless otherwise indicated by mentor or student. Meeting Structure Brief meetings during mentor’s free school time – this is a volunteer position. There is no maximum requirement for meeting length –even 5 minutes can be very helpful! Sharing email addresses is a great way to supplement face to face meetings in school. Mentoring at SchoolHow it Works

7. Ideas for Mentoring Meetings • Investigate new things that will be happening in school or in the community. Discuss how it will affect each of you. • If your student is new to our school, talk about what is different from his/her old school and what is the same. Share your own experiences with new schools and settings. • Check local college and high school sports schedules in the newspaper or the internet if your student may have interest in attending. • Visit the Howell Township web site or New Jersey Online for a list of summer activities like concerts or plays in the park, festivals and fairs. See who can come up with the longest list of activities. • Initiate a discussion with your student about dream vacations. Describe your dream vacation and ask him/her to do the same. • Ask your student what she is looking forward to most during the school year and to describe the one thing she most wants to accomplish. Tell her what you want to accomplish during the same time period. • Explore great sites on the web. Go to the following URL for a list of links: • http://www.mentoring.org/kaplan/top_linksact.html

8. Problem Situations What happens if: A student reveals child abuse or neglect? A student reveals drug, alcohol use or tobacco use? A student reveals parental alcohol/drug abuse? What to do: • Contact Tom Letson or your student’s guidance counselor to discuss the situation. • Tom will address any possible substance abuse issues and make DYFS contacts if ever necessary. • If Tom or the respective guidance counselor is not available and a student reveals child abuse or neglect, state law requires you report it to DYFS: (732) 988-2161. Consult with an administrator if necessary.