What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do With Anger and Joy

What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do With Anger and Joy 2003 Summer Youth Series Schertz church of Christ

(Eph 4:26 NKJV) “Be angry, and do not sin”: … Anger and Joy • Anger and joy are emotional responses to what happens around us. • The emotions of anger and joy are not wrong, but are very powerful.

Anger and Joy • Anger and joy are the energy—the “thrust”—that moves us through life. • We had better be sure that they are moving us in the right direction.

Anger and Joy • So, what do you do when you don’t know what to do with anger and joy? • Understand those powerful emotions. • Think about why you are angry. • Think about what gives you true joy.

What to DO with anger? So … What do you do when you don’t know what to do with anger?

What to DO with anger? • Understand what makes you angry. <Receive $20> <Expect $20 bonus> <Receive $1>

What to DO with anger? • Understand what makes you angry. <Receive “B”> <Expect “B”> <Receive “D”>

What to DO with anger? • Understand what makes you angry. <Our expectation> <Less = ANGER>

What to DO with anger? • What should you do when something happens that … • Disappoints you • Frustrates you • Makes you angry

(Prov 12:16 NKJV) A fool's wrath is known at once, … (Prov 29:11 NKJV) A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back. What to DO with anger? • Take some time before you respond. • Pause a few seconds (count to ten). • You can control yourself.

(Prov 19:11 NKJV) The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, And his glory is to overlook a transgression. What to DO with anger? • You may choose not to respond. • We do not need to respond to everything that happens. • We may be wise to “just pass.”

(Prov 15:1 NKJV) A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. (Prov 21:23 NKJV) Whoever guards his mouth and tongue Keeps his soul from troubles. What to DO with anger? • Be careful what you say or do • Sometimes we do need to respond. • We must be careful not to say or do something that would hurt others—or our own souls.

(Mat 6:34 NKJV) … Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. What to DO with anger? • Be honest about why you are angry. • You may be letting your anger at one person be showing toward another. • You may be holding on to past anger.

What to DO with anger? • Be honest about why you are angry. • You may have an unreasonable expectation of someone else. • You may have an unreasonable expectation of yourself.

What to DO with anger? • Have you set your expectations so high that: <Your expectation> • EVERYONE disappoints you? • YOU disappoint youself? <Less = ANGER>

What to DO with anger? • BEFORE you respond in anger: • Think carefully about why you are angry. • Who are you letting set the standard for what makes you angry? • You may be having the wrong emotion—based on the wrong standard.

What to DO with joy? Now … What do you do when you don’t know what to do with joy?

What to DO with joy? • First—be sure you are looking for joy in the right place! • Joy is not found in what is around you. • Joy is found in what is inside you.

(Eccl 5:10 NKJV) He who loves silver will not be satisfied with silver; Nor he who loves abundance, with increase. … What to DO with joy? • Most people look for joy in what is around them. • That is not the right place. • Jay Gould (millionaire): “I suppose I am the most miserable man on earth.”

(Gal 6:4 NKJV) But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, … What to DO with joy? • Joy is based on what is inside you. • It is based on what you can do. • George Bernard Shaw: “This is the true joy in life: being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one.” (Illustrations Unlimited, p. 284)

(Eccl 12:13 KJV) … Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. (Prov 11:30 KJV) … and he that winneth souls is wise. What to DO with joy? • A greater purpose means greater joy. • Our purpose is given by the Creator. • It is serving God and saving souls.

(2 Cor 12:15 NKJV) And I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls;… (Phil 2:17 ASV) … if I am offered upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I joy, and rejoice with you all: What to DO with joy? • Greater service means greater joy. • We have reason to give the best service. • The more we serve, the more we enjoy serving.

What to DO with joy? • That is why there is so much in the Bible about joy and rejoicing. (3 John 1:4 NKJV) I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. (Acts 15:3 NKJV) [Conversions] …caused great joy to all the brethren. (1 Th 2:20 NKJV) For you are our … joy. (Phil 4:4 NKJV) Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!

What to DO with joy? • Joseph Addison: “The grand essentials to happiness in this life are: • something to do, • someone to love and • something to hope for.” (Illustrations Unlimited, p. 278)

What to DO with joy? • Christians have the most important: • THINGS TO DO: serving God; saving souls • ONE TO LOVE: God and His Son • THING TO HOPE FOR: eternity in heaven Faithful Christians have the greatest joy!

CONCLUSION • So, what do you do when you don’t know what to do with anger and joy? • Understand those powerful emotions. • Think about what makes you angry—those who make you angry control you!!! • Think about what gives you joy—is it true joy?

What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do With Anger and Joy