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Dating Abuse 101. Explore healthy relationships Recognize dating abuse How you can help a friend How you can get involved. Group agreements. Participation Respect- no judging! Self-care. Healthy or not healthy?. Texts 100 times in an hour. Healthy or not healthy?.
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Explore healthyrelationships • Recognize dating abuse • How you can help a friend • How you can get involved
Group agreements • Participation • Respect- nojudging! • Self-care
Healthy or not healthy? Texts 100 times in an hour
Healthy or not healthy? Encourages you to try new things
Healthy or not healthy? Tells you who you can and can’t hang out with
Healthy or not healthy? Blocks the door during an argument
Healthy or not healthy? Tells you they can’t live without you and they wouldn’t be able to go on if you left them.
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1. To always be treated with respect 2. To be treated as an equal 3. To be in a healthy relationship 4. To not be hurt physically or emotionally 5. To feel safe in your relationship at all times 6. To refuse sex or affection at anytime. 7. To have friends and activities apart from your g/f or b/f. 8. To end a relationship Adapted from:
Respect Good Communication Trust Honesty Equality Spending time apart
Respect Good Communication Trust Honesty Equality Breaks in communication Pressure Dishonesty Struggles for control Inconsiderate behavior
What is dating abuse? A pattern of abusive behaviorswhere a partner exerts power and controlover someone they are dating. Dating abuse happens when one person’s choices or behaviors are used to hurt or control someone they’re dating.
Types of abuse • Emotional/Verbal Abuse • Stalking • Financial Abuse • Physical Abuse • Sexual Abuse • Digital Abuse
What does dating abuse look like? Here are some red flags: Isolating you from family or friends Physically hurting you in any way Constant put-downs or name-calling Extreme jealousy Controlling behavior and setting rules Explosive temper Making false accusations Mood swings Possessiveness Tells you what to do, what to wear or how to act Checking cell phone, email, or social media accounts without permission Constantly checking up on you to know where you are/who you are with
“If you loved me, you’d send me a topless picture. It’s not a big deal- lots of our friends are doing it.” “I love you so much that I don’t want to live without you. I’ll kill myself if you leave.” Threats Coercion/Pressure “You are such an idiot! I can’t believe you forgot again. This is why I have to make all the decisions!” “I didn’t mean to hurt you, but you made me mad. You deserved it.” “Do you have to go to your friends bday party? I wanted to spend time with you this weekend- I should be more important than your friends.” Emotional Abuse Blame Isolation
Write: Hi, my name is _______________(your name). I live in _________(your city). I go to_____________(your school). My favorite color is_____________(your favorite color).
Digital Abuse • Tells partner who to be friends with on Facebook • Sends insulting, threatening texts or messages • Uses social media to keep tabs on partner • Sends unwanted, explicit pictures • Demands partner send explicit pictures • Steals or insists to be given passwords • Constantly texts, makes partner feel like they can’t be separated from the phone • Looks through partner’s phone frequently
Accusations Blame shifting Isolation Pressure Manipulation Respect Good Communication Trust Honesty Equality Breaks in communication Pressure Dishonesty Struggles for control Inconsiderate behavior
The Stats One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner. This figure far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence. More than 2/3 never report abuse to an adult. Study on Teen Dating Abuse for Liz Claiborne Inc. Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2008
How to help a friend • Let them know you’re concerned for their safety • Be supportive and understanding – you’re on their side • Let them know abuse is not normal and not their fault • Focus on your friend, not their partner • Help develop a safety plan • Help them stay safe online • Let them know they can contact loveisrespect
Get your school involved: Plan an event: • Art show • Poetry reading • Benefit concert • Movie night • Instagram photo contest • Set up a table with info and resources • Read announcement over the intercom • Host a speaker to come talk about dating abuse • Do a fundraiser for a local domestic violence shelter
October is DVAM February is TDVAM
loveisrespect Peer advocates offer one-on-one support, crisis intervention, healthy relationship education, options and resources.
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Still have more questions? Want to learn more? Visitloveisrespect.org