Punctuation and Other Fairy Tales

1. Punctuation and Other Fairy Tales Steve Whitmore February 2006 Punctuation

2. Punctuation – The Ugly Dear John I want a man who knows what love is all about you are generous kind thoughtful people who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior you have ruined me for other men I yearn for you I have no feelings whatsoever when were apart I can be forever happy will you let me be yours Gloria Punctuation

3. Punctuation – The Good Dear John: I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy -- will you let me be yours? Gloria Punctuation

4. Punctuation – The Bad Dear John: I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours, Gloria Punctuation

5. Rules of Thumb for Punctuation  • Large Thumb: Punctuating where you pause when reading the sentence aloud (60-70% accurate). • Small Thumb: Punctuating according to the grammatical rules (100% accurate). • Medium Thumb: Punctuating according to structural relationships (95% accurate).  Tom Thumb  Punctuation

6. Basic Sentence S/V/O = Subject/Verb/Object The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. Punctuation

7. Introductions Intro S/V/O After sighing loudly,the dog opened an eye and peered at the fox. Irritated by the fox's obvious arrogance as well as his overt disdain for his much deserved sleep and general peace of mind,the dog slowly got to his feet. However,the dog was not particularly concerned about the speed or agility of the fox. Although exceptionally lazy and dreadfully slow,the dog possessed a range of other skills and tricks that the fox could never hope to match. Persistence, intelligence, and experience --these were areas where the dog excelled. Punctuation

8. End of Line Distinctions S/V/O EOLD The dog knew that he could use his motorcycle to catch the fox, who was limited by the speed and endurance of his muscles. The dog obviously had another advantage: better technology. The fox had clearly underestimated the extent of the dog's technical advantages-- a blunder which might well prove fatal. Punctuation

9. Insert S or S/V Insert V/O or O The dog's motorcycle, which had been modified last week,idled under a nearby tree. The ever-observant fox, recognizing his peril,raced toward the idling bike. The fox knew the motorcycle(i.e., a Yamaha 1200)possessed a top speed of 200 mph. The fox was afraid-- although he would never admit it --that the dog would use the bike to catch him. Punctuation

10. Punctuation As Cognitive Space / = █ - = ██ space = ███ , = ██████ () = ████████████ -- = ██████████████████ ; = ████████████████████████ : = ██████████████████████████████ . = ██████████████████████████████ ! = ████████████████████████████████████ ? = ████████████████████████████████████ ¶ = █████████████████████████████████████████ Punctuation

11. Balance S/V/O S/V/O The fox was hoping that he could steal the bike and make his getaway, butthe wily dog had outsmarted him when he modified the bike last week. Only now did the dog's foresight become apparent:he pulled out his remote control and turned off the bike. The fox now realized he had misjudged the dog; however,he still didn't recognize the full extent of his miscalculation. The dog pulled out another remote;he pushed a button, and a net fell from the tree. Punctuation

12. List/Parallel S/V or S/V/O Item Item Item The net helped the dogto trap, embarrass, and marinatethe fox. The fox tried to escape the trap in three ways: by crawling through the mesh, by tearing apart the cords, and by pulling off the net. All the fox's attempts were to no avail because the dog had planned his trap in great detail: he purchased a net with an extremely fine mesh; he reinforced the net with very strong cords; and he coated the net with a gooey mixture of honey and oregano. The dog had the utensils tosauté, braise, and roastthe fox usinga frypan, a pressure cooker, and a dutch oven and a spit, respectively. Punctuation

13. Short Quotation S/V/O Quotation In his recipe book, Fox Gumbo, which was published a year later, thedog noted that “a fox marinated in honey and oregano is one of the world's finest gustatory experiences.” In the same volume, he pointed out that speed and agility are not the most important things when trying to catch a fox: “All that you really need is a motorcycle, a remote control, a net, and, of course, a really stupid fox.” Punctuation

14. Long Quotation S/V/O Quotation However, as his memoirs indicate, he later changed his assessment of fox intelligence: As I reflect upon my success as the author of canine cookbooks, there's one point I want to clarify. Foxes aren't particularly stupid; it's just that dogs are especially smart! Punctuation

15. A Couple of Special Cases • e.g., (exempli gratia  for example); i.e., (id est that is) • Generally only used inside parentheses • Use full term, “For example” or “that is”, at beginnings of sentences and phrases • Hyphens vs. Dashes • Use -- (double hyphens) or − (n-dash) or ─ (m-dash), but not - (single hyphen) • Autocorrect in MS Word can do this for you • Use a single space after the period (not two spaces) • Two spaces is a holdover from typewriters made unnecessary by proportionally spaced fonts Punctuation

16. A Couple More Special Cases • it’s versus its: • It’s is a contraction (it is), like don’t, can’t, etc. • Its is a possessive pronoun (like his or hers) • Never use contractions in formal prose, and you’ll never get confused because you’ll only use its ;-) • “, which”problem: • “Environmental groups, which have no respect for industry, annoy her.” (non-restrictive clause) • Envionmental groups which have no respect for industry annoy her.” (restrictive clause) • Test by substituting that • MS Word always assumes non-restrictive usage • Distinction is rapidly disappearing from common usage Punctuation

17. Conclusion • Reflections: Which of the punctuation patterns outlined in this module cause problems in your writing? Punctuation