Leadership

1. Leadership The 7 Habits and More!! Joe Coles jcoles@swprsc.org 620-353-9702 Southwest Plains Regional Service Center

2. PROCEDURES • Time Out • Foul • If someone puts you down, you can call a foul. • If they call a foul on you, you have to give two put-ups about that person.

3. What to Expect Today . . . . . • Welcome • Human treasure hunt. • Find your partner- same color card- same number card. • 222– Introduce • 2- school things • 2- outside of school things • 2- other things • Today--- • What do we want to accomplish? • Make an impact at your school.

4. Find your partner– By Card • Visit with your partner • Find out: 222 • Introduce them: • Speak loud enough that all can hear • Speak to the entire group • Focus and have confidence

5. 7 habits of highly effective teens } • Be Proactive • Begin With the End in Mind • Put First Things First • Think Win-Win • Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood • Synergize • Sharpen the Saw – Improving Yourself You } Relationships

6. Paradigms and Principles • What you see is what you get Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you see the whole world. George Bernard Shaw English Playwright

7. WHAT IS A PARADIGM • The way you see something • Your point of view • Frame of reference • Belief • They are often way off mark • They create limitations • Are your paradigms of yourself helping or hindering you? • Paradigms of others can be way out of whack • Paradigms of life • What is the driving force of my life? • What do I spend my time thinking about? • Who or what is my obsession?

8. Paradigm Shift • Seeing things from another point of view • Be willing to change your paradigm when it becomes clear that it is wrong • Change the glasses through which we see the world • Open your minds and hearts to new • Information • Ideas • Points of view

9. Principles • What is a principle? • A natural law or basic truth • A fundamental truth that is timeless • Honesty • Service • Love • Respect • Balance

10. PRINCIPLES NEVER FAIL • They will never talk behind your back • They don’t get up and move • They don’t suffer career-ending injuries • They don’t play favorites based on skin color, gender, wealth, or body features • Putting principles first is key to becoming a person of character • For every problem, search for the principle that will solve it

11. THE PRIVATE VICTORY • The Personal Bank Account • Starting with the Man in the Mirror

12. SYMPTOMS OF A POOR PBA • Cave in to peer pressure • Wrestle with feelings of depression and inferiority • Overly concerned about what others think • Act arrogant to help hide your insecurities • Self-destruct by getting heavily into drugs, vandalism, or gangs • Get jealous easily, especially when someone close to you succeeds

13. Symptoms of a Healthy PBA • Stand up for yourself and resist peer pressure • Not overly concerned about being popular • See life as a generally positive experience • Trust yourself • Are goal driven • Happy for the success of others

14. CHA-CHING! PBA Deposits Keep promises to yourself Do small acts of kindness Be gentle with yourself Be honest Renew yourself Tap into your talents PBA Withdrawals Break personal promises Keep to yourself Beat yourself up Be dishonest Wear yourself out Neglect your talents

15. 7 HABITS CAN HELP YOU: • Get control of your life. • Improve your relationships with your friends. • Increase your self-confidence. • Be Happy. • WHAT EXACTLY ARE HABITS?

16. #1 Be Proactive • Thumb to chest, who needs to be proactive, I do • I Am the Force • Accept responsibility for your life • Promote personal change • Proactive or Reactive…the choice is yours • Proactive People • Make choices based on values • They think before they act • Take responsibility for their choices • Reactive People • Make choices based on impulse (feelings, moods, and emotions) • If shaken up, the pressure builds and they explode

17. #1 Be Proactive • Pop vs. Water Proactive Reactive

18. #1 Be Proactive • Hula Hoops • You have to turn your Hula Hoop over • RULES • Can’t raise over your heads • Can’t take apart • Cannot step on the ground outside of a hula hoop

19. WHAT CAN I DO • Tell me some Cool things about your School • High Quality Education • “Best” Facilities • Highly Qualified Teachers • “A La Carte” Program (PB&J, Ice Cream) • 4 Day week • Extracurricular activities • “Student of the Month” Coca Cola program • Get into groups by cards

20. Your School • What is “Cool” about your school?

21. #1 Be Proactive • I am only one, but I am one. I can’t do everything, but I can do something. That which I can do, I ought to do. That which I ought to do, I shall do. • Everyone can do something!!

22. 20 Questions Each participant needs paper and a pencil. Instruct each one to complete the sentence, “I am” -- listing all the “roles” they fill (such as I am a daughter, I am a basketball player, I am a student council member, etc.) Encourage the listing of roles or positions/activities, not personal characteristics/adjectives. Each participant then shares his/her list with the group. Ask each group member to go to 5 other people and tell them a role that that person has.

23. Thank You Letter

24. Issues in your school! • What are some “concerns” about your school/community?

25. Some things to think about • Carrying book bags between classes • Hall passes in hallway during class time. • Speed bumps • Lack of school spirit

26. #2 Begin With The End In Mind • Point down, to sky, to mind • Since you are the driver, decide where you want to go and draw up a map to get there.

27. #2 Begin With The End In Mind • Which paths will you take • The paths you choose today can shape you forever • Chair and person sitting • How old are you? • What are some decisions that you are making now or in the next 5 years that could affect you down the road?

28. #2 Begin With The End In Mind • 10 Person Triangle • Only 3 people can move • Rubberbands

29. #2 Begin With The End In Mind • Control your destiny or someone else will. • What is your mission statement, goals? • Personal motto • States what your life is about • Opens your eyes to what’s really important, what do you value • Helps you make decisions • Everything about you changes but your mission statement will be like a deep- rooted tree that never moves

30. #2 Begin With The End In Mind • Five Keys to Goal Setting • Key No. 1: Count the Cost • What will it require • Am I willing to make the sacrifice • Don’t make commitments to myself I know I’m going to break • Key No. 2: Put it in Pen • “A goal not written is only a wish” • A written goal carries ten times the power • Key No. 3:Just Do it! • There is a time to say I’ll try and a time to say I will!

31. #2 Begin With The End In Mind • Key No. 4: Use Momentous Moments • Certain moments in life contain momentum and power • Starts and finishes or beginnings and ends carry momentum (a new year) • Tough experiences can carry momentum • Setbacks and tragedies can often serve as springboards for change • Key No. 5: Rope Up • Borrow strength from others • Rope up with friends, brothers, sisters, girlfriends, parents, counselors, grandparents, pastors, or whomever else you can

32. If you want to be ETRATORDINARYThe first thing you have to do is quit beingORDINARY

33. 3 Things to make an impact at your school. • Discuss • The 3 things to make an impact in your school • School Service Projects

34. Mix It Up day Bullying Report Box Read to a grade school kid Sports buddy Class competition Fund raiser Incentive cards Put Up Box SADD Community pep rally’s Student tutoring Big Brother- Big Sister/Friends Homework club Incentives for extra curricular activities School Service Projects

35. #2 Begin With The End In Mind • Example Mission Statements • I will live by my own policies. I will sleep with a clear conscience. I will sleep in peace. • First and foremost, I will remain faithful always to my Faith. I will not underestimate the power of family unity. I will not neglect a true friend, but I will set aside time for myself as well. I will cross bridges as I come to them (divide and conquer). I will begin all challenges with optimism, rather than doubt. I will always maintain a positive self-image and high self-esteem, knowing that all my intentions begin with self-evaluation.

36. #2 Begin With The End In Mind • Example Mission Statements Religion Education Succeeding Productive Exercise Caring Truthful • Example Mission Statements • Care – about the world, about life, about people, about myself • Love – myself, my family, my world, knowledge, learning, life • Fight – for my beliefs, for my passions, to accomplish, to do good, to be true to myself • Rock – the boat, don’t let the boat rock me, be a rock

37. #2 Begin With The End In Mind • LIVE YOUR LEGACY, LEAVE YOUR LEGACY • How do you want to be remembered 5 years from now? • Take a few minutes, fill out the Mission Statement Sheet. • Take a break, QUIETLY!!!

38. #3 Put First Things First • Hands build on top of each other • Prioritize, do the most important things first. • The habit of will-power (the strength to say yes to your most important things) • Won’t-power (the strength to say no to less important things and to peer pressure) • It’s all about learning to prioritize and manage your time so that your first things come first not last….and learning to overcome your fears and being strong during hard moments.

39. #3 Put First Things First • Balloons • What is taking your time?

40. #3 Put First Things First • Appointments ______ • Study ______ • Homework ______ • Volunteering ______ • Leisure ______ • Family ______ • Friends ______ • Other, specify ______ • After looking at this what do you think about the way you spend your time? • Go through an average day and write down the time you spend in each category. Remember, the total time must equal 24 hours. • Sleeping ______ • Dressing/Hygiene ______ • Eating ______ • Travel ______ • Classes ______ • Extra Curricular ______ • Work ______ • Chores ______

41. #3 Put First Things First • Line up • No talking, by birthday, shoe size

42. #3 Put First Things First • Quadrant 1: The Procrastinator • Addicted to urgency…put things off until they become a crisis • Stress and anxiety • Burnout • Mediocre performance • Quadrant 2: The Prioritier • Things are important but not urgent • Staying balanced is important • Control of your life • High performance • Quadrant 3: The Yes-man • Represents things that are urgent but not important • Often caves to peer pressure • Reputation for being a “pleaser” • Lack of discipline • Feels like a doormat for others to wipe their feet on • Quadrant 4: The Slacker • Category of waste and excess • Activities are neither urgent nor important • Lack of responsibility • Guilt • flakiness

43. #3 Put First Things First • What are your big rocks????? • What do you want to accomplish for the upcoming week? • Study for a test • Finish reading a book • Exercise 3 times • Call grandma for her birthday • Add in your little to-do’s, daily tasks, and appointments • Look ahead on your calendar and record upcoming events and activities.

44. #3 Put First Things First It’s not the mountain we conquer but ourselves. Edmund Hillary (first person to climb Mt. Everest) • Comfort Zone and Courage Zone • Putting first things first takes courage • You will often have to stretch outside your comfort zone • Never let fears make your decisions • Show faith in yourself • Take a risk

45. #3 Put First Things First • Winning means rising each time you fall • Be strong in hard moments • Overcoming peer pressure • Final Analysis of Habit 3 • Putting first things first takes discipline • Discipline to manage your time • Discipline to overcome your fears • Discipline to be strong in the hard moments • Discipline to resist peer pressure

46. Relationship Bank Account • The key to mastering relationships is first mastering yourself, at least to some degree. • Life’s most urgent • question is: • What are you doing • for others? • Martin Luther King JR.

47. Relationship Bank Account • RBA Deposits • Keep promises • Do small acts of kindness • Be loyal • Listen • Say you’re sorry • Set clear expectations • RBA Withdrawals • Break promises • Keep to yourself • Gossip and break confidences • Don’t listen • Be arrogant • Set false expectations

48. Relationship Bank Account • The stuff that life is made of: • Keep Promises • Keeping small commitments and promises is vital to building trust • Do small acts of kindness • A hello, a kind note, a smile, a compliment, a hug • In relationships, the little things are the big things • Be loyal • Loyal people keep secrets • Loyal people avoid gossip • Loyal people stick up for others • Listen • Most people don’t listen • Listening can heal wounds • Say you’re sorry • Don’t let pride or lack of courage stand in the way of saying you’re sorry • Apologies disarm people • Set clear expectations • To develop trust avoid sending vague messages or implying something that is not true or not likely to happen • Build trust by telling it like it is and lay out clear expectations right up front

49. #4 THINK WIN-WIN • Point to head – arm wrestle • HAVE AN EVERYONE-CAN-WIN ATTITUDE!! • Life is an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet

50. #4 THINK WIN-WIN • Win-Win is not….. • Win-Lose • An attitude toward life that says the pie of success is only so big, and if you get a big piece there is less for me • Is competitive • Winning the game, being the best, having it your way • Full of pride • Using other people, emotionally or physically, for your own selfish purposes • Trying to get ahead at the expense of others • Spreading rumors about someone else (as if putting someone else down builds you up) • Insisting on getting your way without concerning yourself with the feelings of others • Becoming jealous and envious when something good happens to someone close to your