Understanding Western (White) Weddings

1. Jean Oosthuizen Jean Oosthuizen UnderstandingWestern (White) Weddings Jean Oosthuizen 20th October’18

2. Agenda • All about Christian Weddings • The Ceremony Process • The Wedding Roles • Designing the dream Christian wedding

3. Why is a Christian Wedding also called a White Wedding ? The White wedding

4. Western Wedding format Western wedding / White weddings : The term originates from the white color of the wedding dress which first became popular with Victorian era Elites, After Queen Victoria wore a white lace dress at her wedding however the term also now encapsulates the entire western wedding routine especially in the Christian religious tradition.

5. Christian marriage When can it happen - • The Christian churches require the couple to be over the age of consent (18 years), but will allow marriage with written consent of both parents or with the approval of a judge or magistrate .

6. Christian Marriage • The Participants: • The rite of Christian marriage is a public ceremony. • The couple publicly give witness to their love for each other. • Participants include: The bridesmaid and best man, who act as witnesses, families and friends, and a priest or minister.

7. Christian Marriage • The Place: • Christian wedding ceremonies take place in a church. Only in very exceptional circumstances, for example, if one of the partners belongs to a non Christian faith, will permission be given for the marriage to take place elsewhere than in a Church.

8. Christian Marriage • The Charter: • Is the sacred and lifelong union of man and woman who give themselves to each other in love and trust , reflecting ever lasting love that God has for His Church through Christ. • Is seen as a way to physical and spiritual fulfilment and it mirrors the unity between Father, Son and Holy Spirit

9. What are the rituals in a Christian Wedding? What are the symbols? Explain them simply rituals

10. Christian Marriage • A typical Christian marriage ceremony contains a number of rituals. • Examples: bridal procession, readings from the Bible, exchange of wedding vows and blessing and exchange of rings.

11. Christian Marriage • Symbols: • Recitation of Marriage Vows: these promises are central to a Christian marriage ceremony. They affirm the Christian belief that marriage is a life long commitment. • Exchange of Rings: The rings symbolises the commitment that people will always be true to each other. Love has no end.

12. Christian Marriage • Signing of the Marriage contract: Symbolizes the legal requirement of the marriage. Signed by the bride, the groom and the two witnesses. • Bride wearing white: Is a symbol of purity • Bride wearing a veil: Is a symbol of modesty.

13. In the Church On the day of the wedding, the groom and the best man arrive early at the church to greet the guests. The best man is a close friend of the groom. The bride arrives later than the groom and the guests. She walks into the church and down the aisle with her father. Then she stands next to the groom, facing the alter.

14. The service begins with a hymn and a reading from the Bible. After this, the congregation are asked if they know any reason why the bride and groom may not get married! If no one answers, the wedding can go ahead. As the couple make their vows they hold each other's right hands. In ancient times, some people thought a vein lead from this finger straight to the heart. The couple exchange rings as a sign of the promises they have made to each other.

15. Commitment of Marriage • Both husband and wife vow “to have and to hold. . . for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until . . . parted by death” (BCP 427)

16. The bride and groom are now husband and wife. There are prayers, another reading from the bible and a talk by the priest. The service ends with a blessing. Then the couple sign the marriage register, which makes their marriage official. The service is followed by a party, called a reception. After this the couple leave for a special holiday, called a honeymoon.

17. Difference between Civil & religiousceremonies

18. Civil marriage • Definition: A civil marriage is one where the marriage ceremony has a government or civil official perform the ceremony. • A civil marriage is a wedding that takes place without any religious affiliation and meets the legal requirements of the locale. • Some countries require that a couple have their first marriage ceremony be a civil ceremony in a public location and that the ceremony is open to the public. • The couples can then be married in a church and have a religious ceremony performed by a member of the clergy

19. Religious Ceremony • Is a Ceremony having religious meanings and are symbolic to a belief. Often these are carried out through traditions that are hundreds of years old and vary from Ethnic beliefs, and geographical locations. • Always understand the process and principle behind any Traditional Or ceremonial activity

20. Wedding Party Roles • For a Christian wedding – list out all the people who need to be considered

21. Wedding Party Roles Friends asked to be involved in the wedding party are normally delighted and honored. However they are also very nervous! You should be familiar with everyone’s role and advise them accordingly.

22. Maid of Honor • Bridal aide, calming the bride, helping her with her dress, holding her bouquet. • Walks down the aisle just before the bride. • Often acts as a witness. • Sits at the head table

23. Bridesmaids • Walks down the aisle before the bride. • Lends lots of emotional support to the bride. • Stands in line at the altar. • Sits at headtable.

24. Junior Bridesmaid Girl aged 9-14 • Walks in procession. • Hands out programs. • Helps Ushers seat guests at the reception.

25. Flower Girl Girl aged 3-8 • Walks down the aisle before Matron of honor. • Normally throws rose petals or holds pomander. • Should be prepped well in advance of her duty.

26. Best Man • The Grooms personal aide. • Stands at the front of the ceremony site with groom. • Normally acts as a witness. • Toastmaster at the reception.

27. Groomsman • Stands with groom and best man at the ceremony site. • Walks in recessional paired with bridesmaids. • Directs guests at reception. • May sit at the headtable.

28. Ring Bearer Small boy aged 4-8 • Walks down the aisle before the flower girl. • Carries ring cushion with the wedding rings tied to it. • Should be prepped well in advance of his duties.

29. Usher • Ensures order of service sheets are distributed. • Escorts grooms parents and brides mother to be seated. • Assists in the organization of photographs. • Helps guests find their seats at the reception.

30. Guest Book Attendant • Greets guests at entrance to ceremony • Ask guests to sign guest book. • Stores any wedding gifts safely. • Ensures the parents of the bride and groom sign the guest book.

31. The Wedding Weekend A Wedding Weekend is a wedding that offer guests additional activities throughout the weekend beyond the normal wedding festivities.

32. Overview of Wedding Related Celebrations • Rehearsal Dinners • Pre wedding celebration • Bride’s party • Groom’s party • Post wedding celebration • Activities

33. Benefits of Wedding Related Celebrations • Generates additional revenue for your company. • You are providing an additional service that the couple may not have considered. • Allows the couple to spend more quality time with their guests who have traveled far.

34. Rehearsal Dinner • Usually held one or two nights before the wedding. • Traditionally hosted by the grooms parents however, that is changing in today’s society. • Normally held directly after the rehearsal. • It can be very formal or completely informal depending on the couples desires. • If the couple have not considered having a rehearsal dinner, this is your opportunity to sell it to them. Have several appropriate packages ready to present.

35. Rehearsal Dinners • This activity is usually only for invitees and not all guests. • Tables are usually in a T or U shape, or open squares. • The bride sits on the grooms right with the attendants on either side. • There is normally a cocktail reception prior to dinner.

36. Toasts are held before dinner with the groom’s father making the first speech. • The bride and groom may give their attendants gifts during the rehearsal dinner. • If the celebration is held the night before the wedding it is a good idea to have a pre-determined finish time.

37. Pre-Wedding Celebrations Who will be invited? All guests will be invited. Why have a pre-wedding celebration? Allows all guests to mingle and families to bond prior to the wedding day. Will the pre-wedding celebrations be formal? The formality of the event depends on the bride and groom and the type of event. However if there is a dress code, inform the couple that they should advise their guests prior to arrival at the hotel.

38. Pre-Wedding Celebration Suggested Events • Welcome cocktail & canapé party. • Welcome champagne reception. • Sunset picnic on the beach. • Beach barbeque • Themed dinner (suggest a menu depending on client nationality)

39. Bride’s Celebration Allows the bride to spend some time with her girlfriends. Suggested Events • Afternoon Tea • Spa treatments • Shopping expedition • Private cooking demonstration • Wine tasting • Cocktails by the pool (create a signature cocktail for the bride)

40. Groom’s Celebration Allows the groom to spend some time with the boys. Suggested Events • Golf • Cigar and brandy reception • Water sport activities • Fishing trip • Male spa treatment

41. Post Wedding Activity Suggested Events Brunch It is better to advise your clients to spend their money on pre-wedding activities as most guests will leave following the wedding. However, whatever activity is chosen on the last day, it is important to remember that this the last memory of the wedding.

42. Other Activities Daily activities can be arranged to include all the guests. Suggested Events • Private yacht excursion • Tour around Dubai stopping for shopping, lunch or afternoon tea. • Diving/Snorkeling trip. • Sailing Trip. • Desert Safari • Ski Dubai

43. RememberThe wedding & the reception are the highlights of the celebrations No other activity should overshadow these two events. ********

44. Wedding Planning & Event Design Tips

45. Wedding Planning & Event Design Tips TRICKS OF THE TRADE: SETTING THE MOOD A talented event designer employs light, color, sound and texture to create innovative settings that reflect both the unique flavor of the overall event and the objectives for the event’s various stages. An event’s design is essential to establishing a cohesive identity and to developing a mood that positively influences guest behavior.

46. LIGHTING is the most effective way to establish ambiance. If you have a limited budget, invest it here. Light elements of  interest like bars or hors d’oeuvre stations. Make tables welcoming oases with candles, lamps, or pin-spotting. COLOR sets mood. Do you want energetic? Go with bright colors like fuchsia, red or orange. Blue and green tones tend to be calming. White or soft tones create romance. Monochromatic or grey schemes establish a more somber and pensive mood.

47. DRAPING can completely change the nature of a venue. Transform from earthy Saharan to Modern Chinese or Grecian futuristic styles. Draping is used to divide large spaces, create paths and disguise service areas. Combined with color theory, draping can affect how large a room feels, how light expands and how dark decreases. • MUSIC is another big mood enhancer. Want guests to converse? Choose upbeat music with no lyrics and limit volume. Dance tunes say it’s time to party (light the dance floor enough to attract but not so bright it discourages the shier among us!). Energetic tunes like jazz and samba are great for auctions.

48. MOTIVATE your guests throughout the event. Want to encourage intimate conversation? Create lounge areas or intimate areas where people can get comfortable. Want to encourage movement? Disperse bars, food stations, and other areas of interest around the facility.   Have various stages of your event in different rooms – a cocktail reception in one room, the cake cutting in another. People are drawn to the light, so use it to move guests by lighting where you want to go and darkening where you want them to leave.

49. Menu Creation & Tips 1. Dream Up a Theme One of the most fun (and often easiest) parts of developing a theme wedding is deciding the menu. From a traditional New England clambake to a spicy Southern barbecue, theme-wedding menus create a fun, exciting, and memorable event. It might even be the way you eat the food that stays in your guests' minds -- cracking crabs at a Maryland riverside wedding, nibbling satay at a Thai-inspired city garden reception, or roasting marshmallows over the flaming bonfire at a wedding "campsite. 2. Go Regional There are many people who take culinary vacations, traveling through countries in search of the local fare. Turn the wedding reception into its own culinary vacation by creating a menu featuring regional specialties. It may be foie gras from the Hudson Valley, spicy chicken wings in Buffalo, or even the largest cheese spread ever seen in Wisconsin.

50. Menu Creation & Tips 3. That's Entertainment Who said that food only pleases the palate? You can devise a wedding menu where the food preparation is as flavorful as the food itself. Consider a sushi bar complete with professional sushi chef -- the performance of slicing and rolling turns simple ingredients into works of art right before your guests' eyes. Or perhaps French chefs donned in aprons and hats will create flaming crepes tableside. Find a wedding caterer who can pull it off! 4. All in the Family Something in between a sit-down meal and a buffet, family style offers a natural way to get tables of guests talking while creating a very festive and homey atmosphere. Each dish is delivered to the center of the table and guests pass them politely (or grab and hoard, depending on your family). Italian food might be an obvious choice, but Asian, Mexican, and Indian cuisines work well here too.