Survive, Revive, Thrive!

1. Survive, Revive, Thrive! Pam Goedde, SPHR Jeff Stucke, LMHC

2. Objectives • Know the two parts of communication • Identify negative aspects of the manager’s role • Understand the concept of social intelligence • Define “boundaries”and boundary problems • Learn how to establish boundaries

3. The “Negatives” of Being in Human Resources • Being in isolation • Living in a fishbowl • Having to confront, discipline, terminate, reject • Dealing with angry/hurt people • Knowing ethical concerns/confidentiality • Experiencing generational tensions

4. Social Intelligence: Emerging New Science • We are designed for sociability • Our reactions to each other have a biological impact • We can “catch” other people’s emotions • Huge impact for the workplace

5. Nature of Relationships “Neuroscience has discovered that our brain’s very design makes it sociable, inexorably drawn into an intimate brain-to-brain linkup whenever we engage with another person. That neural bridge lets us affect the brain - and so the body - of everyone we interact with, just as they do us.” Daniel Goleman, Social Intelligence

6. Nature of Relationships “When someone dumps their toxic feelings on us - explodes in anger or threats, shows disgust or contempt - they activate in us circuitry for those very same distressing emotions. Their act has potential neurological consequences: emotions are contagious. We “catch” strong emotions much as we do a rhinovirus—and so can come down with the emotional equivalent of a cold.”

7. Nature of Relationships “The brain-to-brain link allows our strongest relationships to shape us on matters as benign as whether we laugh at the same jokes or as profound as which genes are (or are not) activated in T-cells, the immune system’s foot soldiers in the constant battle against invading bacteria and viruses.”

8. The Result? Unless we manage ourselves, we will “catch” the negative attitudes and emotions which are inherent in our roles as HR managers/professionals.

9. The Solution? We need to establish “boundaries” – which can serve as an emotional antibiotic.

10. Defining Boundaries The knowledge of where my responsibility begins and ends, the ability to truthfully communicate it, and the courage to accept the consequences.

11. Boundary Problems Internal • Lack of role clarification • Perfectionism • Owning too much responsibility

12. Boundary Problems External 4 personality types • Compliants • Controllers • Non-Responsives • Avoidants

13. Boundary Problems Anger • Suppressive • Passive-aggressive • Aggressive

14. “Doing” Boundaries • Emotional intelligence • Get angry sooner • Healthy relationships – not carrying emotional toxins of others • Ability to receive love, help and praise