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The Cell Cycle Scandal. An interview with Oprah Winfrey and World Champion cell cyclist Vance Amoebastrong. We are speaking with 7 time cell cycle champion, Vance Amoebastrong about the use of performance enhancing drugs during the stages of the Tour De Mitosis.
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An interview with Oprah Winfrey and World Champion cell cyclist Vance Amoebastrong
We are speaking with 7 time cell cycle champion, Vance Amoebastrong about the use of performance enhancing drugs during the stages of the Tour De Mitosis.
Vance, do you admit to taking performance enhancing drugs during your 7 championships of the cell cycle?
Yes, I admit to taking a cocktail of protein supplements to enhance my cell cycling abilities.
Do you admit to taking the controlled substance “cyclin” during your championships.
I took a daily cocktail of cyclin and other cell regulators during those championships.
They did include internal regulators. This helped prevent premature separation of chromosomes during the anaphase stage of the cell cycle.
Did you know that external regulators were involved with speeding up the first stage of the Tour De Mitosis?
I was influenced by external regulators during prophase. But these were outside forces that I just went along with. Every somatic body was doing it.
No, every cell around me was doing it. Those who did not use cyclinswere stuck in the interphase leg of the tour.
Now you had some problems with cancerous cells in the past. What can you say about that?
Cancer is the uncontrolled growth of cells that create a tumor. They do not respond to the signals that regulate growth in most cells. Many cancer cells have a defect in a gene called p53 which normally halts the cell cycle.
Finally, do you think that you could have won your cell cycle titles without the use of cyclins and other performance enhancing proteins?
No cell could have gotten past the third stage of the cell cycle without using them. Each stage of the tour has its own challenges and using these performance enhancing drugs allowed me to cruise through prophase all the way to the final telophaseof the tour.