Relationship Building In Generalist Practice

1. Knowledge of Self Relationship BuildingIn Generalist Practice Social Work 318 Kim J. Sumerix

2. A Positive Start • What has happened in the past two weeks that: • Was awesome and relaxing • Was personal news that was exciting • Was a new accomplishment

3. Class objectives • Distinguish between a “helper” who is a friend and a “helper” who is a professional • List characteristics of effective social work helpers • Describe the basic theory behind the Rogerian person centered model • Define the following terms as they relate to Rogerian theory: genuineness, unconditional positive regard, empathy • Identify the relational skills associated with the Carkhuff model • Articulate the emerging social work helping styles

4. What do you take away? • Improved understanding of self • A new evaluation of first impressions • Critical thinking that you may use daily

5. Our needs as Helpers – what drives us to do what we do? • make an impact • return a favor • care for others • work on your personal issues (self-help) • be needed • make money • gain prestige and status • provide answers • gain and maintain control • variety and flexibility

6. Characteristics • Some of the characteristics of a helper who is making a significant difference are: • being committed to assessing your strengths and weaknesses • doing in your own life what you expect your clients to do • having good interpersonal skills • recognizing that it takes hard work to bring about change • welcoming and understanding diversity

7. Characteristics (more) • Some of the characteristics of a helper who is making a significant difference (continued): • being aware of your own problems and monitoring how they influence your work with clients • taking care of yourself • questioning life and engaging in self-examination • having meaningful relationships in your life • having a healthy sense of self-love

8. Basics of Counseling • Psychological relationship of parties • Imbalance or incongruence of client • Therapist is capable of giving • Unconditional positive regard • Empathetic understanding • Respect • Movement toward client centered goals

9. First Impressions • We make judgments in the first few seconds we meet someone • We will make adjustments to our perceptions based upon our experiences. • Now what do you think about me?

10. Perceptions – based upon what? • 1. What decade was I born in? • 1940’s 1950’s 1960’s 1970’s • 2. Am I left handed or right handed? • 3. What is my favorite color? • 4. What is my favorite sport? • 5. I am most comfortable – Rural or Urban • 6. What is my cultural/ethnic origins? • 7. What is my current relationship status? Single Married Divorced

11. 8. What was my favorite subject in school? • 9. What is a favorite hobby of mine? • 10. An exciting trip/vacation for me would be: • 11. Three are true, one is a lie • a. I am an auctioneer • b. I sing professionally at public events • c. I am a farmer • d. I am a caterer

12. Client Focused • Do we give advice, ask questions or make interpretations? We will get a lot of repeat customers. • Put clients in the position of determining the direction of their counseling sessions • Therefore, the client assumes responsibility for their choices, learning to rely on themselves and trust their own judgment • HELP – not DO!

13. Engaging change • We create a warm and accepting atmosphere for client • We reflect the client’s inner world with empathy, understanding, acceptance, and trust • Main goal is assisting people in becoming more autonomous, spontaneous and confident • The ultimate goal is for individuals to be fully functioning with the skills and freedom to make decisions that are best for them and those whose lives they may impact

14. CDI Skills for engaging others • Labeled praise – “I like what you are doing” • Behavioral descriptions – “I see what you are doing” • Reflections – “I hear what you are saying” • These 3 basic skills increase cooperation, build trust and acceptance • Short & Sweet – get to the point

15. Role Play • To practice reflective listening • Case scenarios – tell me the story • One thing that I carry with me that is very important to me (check your purse or your pocket) • A fear that I have had for a long time is….. • One thing I would like to change in my life that would make me a better social worker is… • One time I wish I would have acted, but I stood silent…

16. Communication Basics • Two vital needs for all to make good decisions • 1. Some measure of CONTROL in my life • 2. Someone who will LISTEN to me • How to “invite a fight” from others • The simple word “YOU” • QUESTIONS that do not garner information, are only annoying • Commands that expect others to let us have control • Take ownership of my feelings, needs, wants and desires. I want, I need, I hope, I will, I won’t…..

17. The Emotional Brain • Amygdala – • Emotional Thinking • Whine and Complain • “You” Statements • Commands & Questions • Make excuses • Withdraw, shutdown • Passive/aggresive

18. The Problem Solving Brain • Frontal Cortex- • Problem Solving Thinking • Brainstorming • Non-judgmental input • “I” Statements • Choices (2-3)

19. Intro to Body Language • 80% -- 90% of our communication is non-verbal. It is very important to be able to identify exactly what we are communicating to others non-verbally.

20. Truth & Lies • Give one truth and one lie • How do we tell the difference

21. Watch the Eyes Note whether they are right or left handed!

22. What we can learn from the eyes • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAP36I2Xkq8

24. Dr. Thomas Gordon’s Dirty Dozen • praising: butter them up • name calling: ridicule • psychoanalyzing • reassuring: give sympathy • probing: who, what, why? • humor: distraction • ordering: directing • warning: threaten • moralizing: shoulds and oughts • advising: give suggestions • messages of logic: counter argument • judging: criticism

25. Effective Roadblocks • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm3FLGxb2ZU In this mock assessment, examine the positive and negative skills demonstrated. Explore how roadblocks may not be client centered but rather focused upon the therapist focus or leading the client.

26. My life experiences • The use of self in social work can be a valuable tool to build rapport and draw from practical examples • ** Note it is wise to offer examples as the experiences of others you have known, instead of you being the “guru” who knows all the answers – this works really well with kids also • How does my past experiences impact my thoughts, words, and actions • Transference • Countertransference

27. Family of Origin Issues • Identify issues in your family of origin • Great way to practice genograms • How can they help/hinder your work • Identify your role in your family • Relationship to siblings and parents • Identify family rules • How your family copes with conflict • Labels, roles and messages given you by your family • Identify the big life events and their impact on the family dynamic • What are my triggers that may be activated by doing social work

28. Coping with my values • Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Issues • Family Issues • Gender-Role Identity • Religious and Spiritual Values • Abortion • Sexuality • End-of-Life Decisions

29. Impact of Culture • A multicultural perspective on helping • Ethical practice implies incorporating a multicultural perspective in all helping relationships • The professional codes call for a diversity perspective • It is essential that helpers become aware of their own biases, cultural values, and basic attitudes toward diversity • Helpers are challenged to identify and overcome cultural tunnel vision

30. Multi-cultural Competency • Some areas of knowledge of culturally skilled helpers • Understand worldview of clients with different cultural backgrounds • Possess specific knowledge of particular individuals with whom you are working • Acknowledge your own racist attitudes, beliefs, and feelings; how did we obtain them and even how have we changed them over time • Understand and encourage client use of indigenous support systems

31. Helping Process • Stage 1: Establishing a working relationship • Create a relationship that allows client to tell their story • Create a climate for change • Establish a working relationship -- make us of basic listening and attending skills and establish rapport • Educate clients and obtain informed consent

32. Stage 2: Identifying clients’ problems • Create a therapeutic climate so clients can identify and clarify their problems • Strive to understand the social and cultural context of the client's problem -- and avoid "blaming the victim" • Conduct an initial assessment • Identify exceptions to one’s problems

33. Stage 3: Helping clients create goals • Help clients gain a focus -- narrow down the task • Assist clients to identify specific goals • Establish and refine goals collaboratively

34. Stage 4: Encouraging clients exploration and taking action • Confront clients with care and respect -- challenging clients is a way of demonstrating your involvement • Make use of appropriate, timely, and relevant self-disclosure • Identify ways to accomplish goals • Develop and assess action strategies • Carry out an action program

35. Stage 5: Termination • Help clients bring closure to their work and consolidate their learning • Assist clients in developing a plan for continuing the change process on their own

36. Person Centered Counseling • Have worth and dignity and deserve respect • Have the capacity and right to self-direction • Can select their own values • Can learn to make constructive use of responsibility • Have the capacity to deal with their feelings, thoughts and behaviors • Have the potential for constructive change

37. Rogerian concepts of self • Do not act as though I am something that I am not • To be effective I must be accepting of myself • It is advantageous when I seek to understand another person • I must be open to the realities of life as they are revealed to me in other people • The more I am able to understand myself and others, the less likely I am to rush in

38. Carkhuff – 7 basic skills • Empathy • Respect • Concreteness • Genuineness • Immediacy • Confrontation • Self disclosure Scale of rating the therapist interactions from 1-5 1 – defensive, incongruent 2 – professional but distant 3 – neither defensive nor professional – more neutral 4 – genuine congruence 5 – honest, open, accepting and personally connected to client.

39. Robert Carkhuff’s model • Oversimplified • Where are you now • Where you would like to be • The plan of how I get there

40. Finding the fit -Theories • There are many theories that you will study to find your way in social work. Awareness of many differing views will allow you to find those that fit best in your position, matched to your talents and skill base. • This is about filling up your tool box.

41. Challenging Clients • Some common problematic behaviors displayed by clients at times: • Clients who are sent to you -- involuntary clients • Clients who are typically silent and withdrawn • Clients who talk excessively • Clients who overwhelm themselves • Clients who often say “Yes, but . . .” • Clients who blame others • Clients who deny needing help • Clients who are overly dependent on you

42. Deal with the challenges • Two things to keep in mind when you are dealing with difficult behavior manifested by clients are: • Avoid getting defensive and reacting with sarcasm • Let clients know how their behavior is affecting you

43. Stress – who me? • Common individual stressors • Striving for perfection • Excessive need for approval • Self-doubt • Physical and emotional exhaustion • Assuming too much responsibility for clients • Ruminating about cases

44. Stress and burnout • How stress paves the way to burnout • Stress at work tends to impact your personal life • Working intensely with people opens you up to your own wounds -- it reactivates earlier conflicts and pain • Constant stress that is not managed results in physical and psychological exhaustion

45. What Now? • Practice what you’ve learned! • Find 1-2 ideas that you can use in your personal life, then tuck away the rest to build your tool box for your career in social work.