Revision and proofreading

1. Revision and proofreading How can youimprove the qualityofyourwriting ?

2. Proofreading… After you finish revising so that your ideas are clear and well-organized, it’s time to proofread.. • Go over your paper carefully with a pen in your hand • Touch each word w/ the pen, and read it aloud, or in your head: this will help you to slow down and find errors and parts that don’t sound right • You should discover words that are missing, or that the endings on words are not correct • If you think a word may not be correctly spelled, top and check its spelling

3. DRAFTING A first draft … • should never be the final draft ! • Is a chance to get your thoughts and impressions on paper • May be disorganised and incomplete When you have a first draft, think about the changes you need to make. You may need to develop your ideas more, add details, or clarify confusing points.

4. Preparatory reading… • SKIMMINGisoftenhelpfultoget a general idea of a pieceofwritingbeforeyouactually start readingit. • Read the title and subtitles, ifany • Read the first sentenceofallparagraphs • Read the entire first and last paragraphs Thiswill help you -toget the main idea and -tofamiliarize w/ the overallorganizationof the reading

5. ANNOTATING is a way ofreadingwith a pencil in hand. As youread, youmark up the text in any way thatmakessensetoyou. Underline, or (bracket) important or interestingwords, phrases or sentences Draw ARROWS toconnectrelatedideas Writecomments and questions in the marginsNotrealistic ! Numberpoints (1,2,3,4) Great idea ! Makeanyothermarkingsthat are meaningfultoyou ? !!! % @ £ =) =( ;-) circle highlight

6. Double entry response allowsyouto take notes on aspectsof a readingthat interest you, and yourreactiontothem • Draw a line down the middle of a pieceofpaper. On the left-hand side, jot down interesting or importantwords, phrases, sentences, ideas, points, details and anythingthatevercatchesyourattentionasyouread the passage. • You can write down the exactwords (quote) or say some of the ideas in yourownwords (paraphrase) or re-tell some of the mostimportantideas or maineventsfrom the passage (summarize).

7. Double-entry response… Thenaddyourowncomments on the right-hand side. You can: • question the reading • reacttoit • relateittootherreadings or yourownexperience, or • express yourthoughts and feelingsaboutit

8. Example of double-entry response: • P. 27 “Inspired to Write”

9. Writer’s tip: • Be specific: it is much better to say “the geranium in the window” than “the flower in the window”. “Geranium” – that one word gives us a much more specific picture. It penetrates more deeply into the beingness of the flower. It immediately gives us the scene by the window – red petals, green circular leaves, all straining towards the sunlight” - Natalie Goldberg

10. ‘No comprendo’ • Finding the main idea in a readingisimportant… just asimportantasitisfor the writertohave a main idea and tosupportit. The main idea is: • The central idea or focus • The main idea the writerwantstomake • The reader can usuallyfind a sentence or twothat best expressesit • Sometimesit’s implied…youhaveto ‘readbetween the lines’ tofindit Read the examplefromInspiredtoWrite, p. 34.

11. No comprendo Can you find the main idea(s) ?

12. The main idea • Writersmay start a pieceofwritingnotknowingwhat the main idea isgoingtobe…theymaydiscoveritonly in the processofwriting • Once they do establish the main idea, the restof the text willdevelop the idea by --givingexamples and reasons --makingcomparisons and contrasts --providing information or data --referringtoothertexts or othersupport In the finalpieceofwritingitshouldbe easy tofind the writer’s main idea and seethateveryting in the text – the examples and the reasons–allrelateto and supportit.

13. A descriptive outlinecan help you to see a piece of writing clearly. You can useitto help youunderstandsomethingyouread… or as a toolforrevisingyourownwriting. Include: The main idea in yourownwords In columns, onesentencesummariesofwhateachparagraph “says” and “does” … the purpose or functionofeachparagraph (for ex., to introduce an idea, develop a reason, giveexamples, tell a story, describesomething or someone, explainsomething, analyze a problem, summarizeideas, argue a point, provide a conclusion)

14. example of descriptive outlining: After numbering the paragraphs… can you make a descriptive outline of ‘No comprendo’ ?

15. Choosing examples…. S.T.A.R. Here are some criteriato help youchoose and checkyourexamples: • SUFFICIENT: Do youhaveenoughexamples – or details or facts or evidence – tomakeyourpointstrongly ? Isyoursupportsufficient ? Ofcourse, sometimesone strong detailedexampleisenough: “ People whogetexercisetendto live longerthanthosewho don’t. Forexample, myfatherwalks 5 mileseveryday, and heis 90 yearsold.”

16. S.T.A.R. • TYPICAL: Is the exampletypical ? Doesitrepresent the typeof situation youwanttomake a pointabout ? Chooseexamplesthat are believable, that people wouldexpecttosee. Be carefulthough: ifyouchooseanexamplethat’s too common, itmayseemstereotypical: “ Single parents can raisechildren just aswellastwoparents. A goodexampleis a 7-year-old boy named Jimmy, whoseparentsbothdied, leavinghimanorphan. His 20 year-oldunmarriedbrotherthenraisedhimsuccessfully. “

17. S.T.A.R. • AUTHENTIC: Is the exampletrue ? Allyourexamplesshould sound trueto the reader…. “ Television can influencechildrento do harmful or dangerousthings. I once readabout a young boy whowatched a superhero show, then, with a capetiedaroundhisneck, jumped off a roof in imitation.”

18. S.T.A.R. • RELEVANT: Is the examplerelevanttoyourpoint ? Will the readersee a logical connection ? “ One way to reduce the numberofcars in citiesmightbetooutlaw single passengercars in the city center duringpeakhours. Forexample, some people in New York City propose thatcarsentering the center of the city in the morninghoursberequiredtocarrytwo or more passengers.”

19. Writer’s tip: • In the first draft you get your ideas and your theme clear…. But the next time through, when you revise your writing, it’s like cleaning house, getting rid of the junk, getting things in order, tightening things up. • Revision is the process of making writing neat and orderly… like tidying up a room of your house.

20. In an interview, Ernest Hemingway said: • Hemingway: “I wrote the ending to A Farewll to Arms, the last page of it, 39 times before I was satisfied. • Interviewer: “Was there some technical problem ? What was it that had you stumped ?” • Hemingway: “ Getting the words right.”

21. Getting the words right… • Imagine you are the boss of a factory and the words you have written are your employees. If the workers are productive, they stay. If they are not doing there job well, or are not needed, they are fired or are let go. The ‘word boss’ must also recognize when to hire new workers, for ex. When there is a new job to be done and no one is doing it.

22. Be a ‘word boss’ ! • Go throughyourwritingas a ‘word boss’. Look at eachsentencecarefully and askyourselfthesequestions: • Isthis word doingits job well ? Are therestronger, more specific, more explicit or more concrete wordsthatcould do the job better ? • Do I needtohireany ‘newworkers’ ? Could I addanywordstomake the meaningclearer ? • Are thereanyunnecessarywords in thissentencethatneedtobe ‘fired’ ?

23. Logical development Tokeepyourreaderengaged and enablehimtofollowyourthinking, askyourself the followingquestionsto help ensureyourwritingflowsfromone idea to the next in a logical or coherent way: • Doesyouressayfulfill the promise made in the first sentence / paragraph ? Ifnot, whatchanges can youmake, either in the beginning or in the restof the essay ? • Do the ideas in eachsentenceleadlogicallyto the ideas in the next ? Ifnot, whatchanges can youmaketo show a logicaldevelopment ? • Doesoneparagraphleadlogicallyto the next ? Ifnot, whatchanges can youmaketo show logicalmovement ? • Does the entirepiecehold the reader’s interest ? Ifnot, whatchanges can youmaketokeepreaders’ interest fromsectiontosection ?

24. YOUR MISTAKES • Remember to make a list of the most common mistakes YOU make…. And be ready to check your work for them….