Persuasive writing

1. Persuasive writing The Art of Writing

2. Core Principles • ABC’s • Accuracy • Brevity • Clarity • Simplicity • IRAC • Issue • Rule • Analysis • Conclusion

3. Getting Ready Plan Organize Outline

4. Plan • Know your audience • Know your purpose • Know your materials • Understand the scope of what you are writing • Budget adequate time to write, review and edit

5. Who is your audience? • A major failing in most decisions is the assumption that the intended reader is one person on one particular day. • Why is this false? Who else? • Petitioner • Within company – managers, CEO, HR • Lawyers • Reviewing body • Legislator

6. Organize • Organize • Research • Notes • Witness statements • Key documents • Organize document • Introduction • Facts • Discussion • Conclusion/Order

7. Outline • Outline claims • What are the elements? • Outline facts • Witness statements • Documents • Outline arguments • What facts support which claims?

8. Writing Style

9. ABC’S • Accuracy • Credibility is the coin of the realm • Brevity • Include what you need. • Do not include any extras. • Ask: Why is this fact/argument important? Is it cumulative? Can it be shortened?

10. ABC’S • Clarity • It’s your job to sort through the mess • It’s your job to sort through the potentially applicable law • Simplicity • Cultivate a knack for plain English • KISS principle • Stop trying to sound smart

11. Simple English – Not Bureacratese • Preference for wordy, long sentences; a preference for complex words, code words or buzzwords over simple, traditional ones; a preference for vagueness over directness and a preference for passive over active voice • Meant to impress the reader and increase the authority of the user, making him appear more professional • Upon receipt of this memo dated January 26, 2008, please be herewith informed that our new parking policy will be effectuated immediately. • Better: Our new parking policy takes effect on January 26, 2008.

12. Brevity: Cut the Fat

13. Brevity: Use Words Efficiently • Never use two words when one will do • Example: The relationship between the natural salt water to fresh water in the Edgartown Great Pond that fluctuates often is extremely important to everyone including scientists, residents and environmentalists on Martha’s Vineyard. • Example: The fluctuating salinity of EGP concerns many environmentalists, scientists and residents.

14. Brevity: Most Important First • Place key information up front • Ex 1: Despite winning the game, the Patriots made several errors in the first half. • Ex 2: Despite making several errors in the first half, the Patriots won the game. • Ex 3: The Patriots won the game, despite making several errors in the first half.

15. Brevity: Remove Redundancy • Combine overlapping sentences when possible • Ex 1: Water quality in Hawk River declined in March. This decline occurred because of the heavy rainfall that month. All the extra water overloaded Tomlin County’s water treatment plant. • Ex 2: Water quality in Hawk River declined in March because heavy rainfalls overloaded the Tomlin County water treatment plant.

16. Language: Keep it Simple

17. Avoid Jargon • Jargon: a vocabulary particular to a place of work • Examples • Dialogue • Facilitate • Outcomes • Funding streams • Reach out • Peel the onion • Avoid abbreviations and acronyms • If you must use them, define them the first time you use them unless obvious

18. Language: Needless Complexity

19. Language: Abstraction • Avoid too many abstract nouns: • Ex 1: The existing nature of Mount St. Helens’ volcanic ash spewage was handled through the applied use of computer modeling capabilities. • Ex 2: With Cray computers, we modeled how much ash spewed from Mount St. Helens.

20. Language: Needless Words • never before • none at all • now at this time • period of time • private industry • separate entities • start out • write out • still persists • mix together already existing at the present time basic fundamentals completely eliminate continue to remain currently being currently underway empty space had done previously introduced a new

21. Language: Ambiguity • Order the words in your sentences carefully. • Ex 1: The old man the boat. • The boat is manned by the old. • Ex 2: The complex houses married and single soldiers and their families. • Single and married soldiers and their families are housed in the complex. • Ex 3: The author wrote the novel was likely to be a best-seller. • The author wrote that the novel was likely to be a best-seller. • Ex. 4: The government plans to raise taxes were defeated. • The plans of the government to raise taxes were defeated.

22. Language: Be Strong

23. Language: Weak vs. Strong • Avoid “verb” phrases: • Made arrangements for • Arranged • Made the decision • Decided • Made the measurement for • Measured • Performed the development of • Developed • Is working as expected • Works as expected

24. Active Voice: Strong Verbs • Good writers want to communicate as efficiently as possible, and active voice is more straightforward and is stronger than passive voice. • Ex 1: It was determined by the committee that the report was inconclusive. • The committee determined that the report was inconclusive. • Ex 2: We were invited by our neighbors to attend their party. • The neighbors invited us to their party. • Ex 3: Groups help participants realize that most of their problems and secrets are shared by others in the group. • Groups help participants realize that others in the group share most of their problems and secrets.

25. Tips • Never, ever get personal • Never “I” • “The Division” or “The Commission” or “The Court” • Yes: “The investigation found . . .” • No: “I found . . .” • Never “you” • Exception: if you’re drafting a letter to a person

26. Gentlemen, start your writing

27. Organize Use an outline

28. Decision • Introduction • Procedural Background or Jurisdiction • Facts • Analysis or Discussion • Conclusion

29. Tips – Use Headings Discussion I. Discrimination Claims A. Disability Claim 1. Individual with Disability 2. Qualified for Position 3. Adverse Employment Action B. Age Claim 1. Over 40 2 . . . .

30. Facts “The facts, ma’am. Just the facts.”

31. Facts • “It is of the highest importance . . . to be able to recognize, out of a number of facts, which are incidental and which vital. Otherwise your energy and attention must be dissipated instead of being concentrated.” - Sherlock Holmes

32. Facts • Tell a story • Should have a cast of characters and a plot. • Who did what to whom? And when, where, how and why did it happen? • Organize them thoughtfully • “Each fact is suggestive of itself. Together they have a cumulative force.” – Sherlock Holmes • Don’t automatically use chronology • Juxtaposing facts can be very powerful

33. Facts • Use parties’ names • Easier to keep track of everyone • Titles are dry and impersonal • Names help your reader identify with the actor • Use numbered paragraphs, bullets, or narrative • Use headings • Put authorities into a footnote so you don’t break the flow

34. Facts • Begin sentences with what matters most • Don’t begin with dates, unless the date is disputed or critical • No: On June 8, Jim called everyone into a meeting. • Yes: Jim called everyone into a meeting on June 8. • Most of the time, dates are utterly irrelevant anyway • Ask whether each fact you have is necessary • Revise your facts after you have finished your analysis

35. Discussion

36. Analysis • IRAC • Issue • Rule • Analysis • Conclusion

37. IRAC: Issue • Claim • Element • Factual Dispute

38. IRAC: Rule • Statute • Case Law • Admin Rule • Quote the actual language, but only what you need. • Ex: Utah Code Ann. §34A-5-106 states: “An employer may not refuse to hire . . . any person . . . because of . . . disability.” • Avoid block quotes and string citations. People tend to ignore them.

39. IRAC: Issue and Rule b. Constructive Termination The Court next turns to the question of whether Mr. Beckstead was constructively terminated. To establish constructive discharge, a petitioner must show that “(1) his employer engaged in discriminatory conduct, and (2) that conduct created intolerable working conditions.” Sheikh, 904 P.2d at 1106-1107.

40. IRAC: Analysis • Apply the law you just cited to the facts you wrote so carefully • Show your work. Explain your reasons. • Without your analysis, you will be reversed.

41. IRAC: Analysis We next turn to whether Mr. Beckstead’s working conditions were so difficult that a reasonable person in his position would feel compelled to resign. The plaintiff’s burden in a constructive discharge case is substantial because it requires a showing that the working conditions imposed by the employer are not only tangible or adverse, but intolerable. AccordPenn. State Police v. Suders, 542 U.S. 129, 147 (2004). . . . In contrast, a plaintiff who voluntarily resigns cannot claim that he was constructively discharged. In the instant case, Mr. Beckstead argues that he was constructively discharged because (1) Canyon employees had subjected him to unspecified “ribbing”; (2) a Canyon trainer warned him that if he parked his large van in the handicap spot, it might get hit by a school bus. . . . The Court holds that this evidence does not demonstrate that Mr. Beckstead’s working conditions (while admittedly unpleasant) were intolerable, nor that his resignation was objectively involuntary. Instead of resigning, it would have been reasonable under the circumstances for Mr. Beckstead to have produced the doctor’s note, thereby clarifying once and for all that he had the right to park there. He could have complained to the human resources department about the ribbing and about Mr. Young’s statement. He could have taken Mr. Perry up on his offer to meet with him and Mr. Young to resolve the situation. Furthermore, even after he quit, Canyons clarified that he had not been fired, and kept the door open for him to come back to work. Despite these options, Mr. Beckstead assumed the worst, and voluntarily terminated his employment relationship with Canyons.

42. IRAC: Conclusion • Each paragraph (or at least each section) should have a brief concluding sentence. • Example: “The Court holds that this evidence does not demonstrate that Mr. Beckstead’s working conditions (while admittedly unpleasant) were intolerable, nor that his resignation was objectively involuntary.”

43. Conclusion/Order

44. Conclusion/Order • Very, very brief • What you are ordering or recommending

45. Okay, Now What?

46. Be a Judge • “When the beginning writer completes a first draft, he usually reads through to correct typos and considers the job of writing done. When the professional writer completes a first draft, he usually feels he is at the start of the writing process.” – Donald M. Murray

47. Judge • Let your draft cool off overnight before revising. • Have someone else read it. • Edit. Edit. Edit. Edit. Edit. Edit. (You get the idea.) • Ask: • Can I say it smaller words? • Can I say it in fewer words? • Can I say it in better words? • Can I say it with words that make the action clearer?