Listening

2. To learn how to Listen rather than simply hear. Listen actively. Continue to build goodwill. Listening

3. Start by answering these questions: What do good listeners do? What is active listening? How do I show people that I’m listening to them? Can I use these techniques if I really disagree with someone? Listening

4. Hearing vs. Listening Listening is the form of communication we practice most often. Yet because we rarely have formal training in it, it may be the one that we do most poorly. Listening is even more crucial on the job than it is in classes, but it may also be more difficult. Because people routinely listen—to voices, to music, to nature—they can overestimate their skills, and the classroom experience is more structured than many work situations. 4

5. Hearing vs. Listening Hearing is simply the sense by which sound is perceived. Listening is an active practice by which a message is decoded and interpreted correctly. 5

6. What do good listeners do? • Pay attention. • Good listening requires energy. • You have to resist distractions and tune out noise • To avoid listening errors caused by inattention • Before  What answers do you need to get (anticipate the answers, put down question and listen to answers during conversation) • At the end  Check your understanding. • After  Write down key points

7. What do good listeners do? (cont) • Focus on the speaker(s) in a Generous Way. • Some people listen looking for flaws (عيب)or they may listen as if the discussion were a war, listening for points on which they can attack the other speaker. • Good listeners, in contrast, • are more generous • They weigh all the evidence before they come to judgment. • They realize that they can learn something even from people they do not like.

8. What do good listeners do? (cont) • Focus on the speaker(s) in a Generous Way. • To avoid listening errors caused by self-absorption • Focus on the substance جوهر of what the speaker says, not his or her appearance • Evaluate what the speaker says instead of “How to rebuttal رد” • Work to learn from every speaker

9. What do good listeners do? (cont) • Avoid assumptions. • Many listening errors come from making faulty assumptions. • In contrast, asking questions can provide useful information. • To avoid listening errors caused by faulty assumptions, • Don’t ignore instructions you think are unnecessary. • Consider the other person's background and experience • Paraphrase “اعادة صياغة النص”what the speaker has said, giving him or her a chance to correct your understanding

10. What do good listeners do? (cont) • Listen for feelings as well as facts • Sometimes, people just want to have a chance to fully express themselves. • Sometimes, people may have objections that they can't quite put into words. • To avoid listening errors caused by focusing solely on facts • Consciously listen for feelings • Pay attention to tone of voice and facial expression. • Silence does not mean consent موافقة, Invite other person to speak

11. Active Listening • Active listening is feeding back either the literal حرفيmeaning or the emotional content or both so as to demonstrate that you have heard and understood a speaker. • asking for more information and stating one's own feelings is another way to show active listening. • In Japanese we call AIZUSHI • In Arabic “العيون مغاريف الحكي”

12. Active Listening • Five strategies create active responses • Paraphrase content. Feedback using your own words. • Mirror the speaker’s feelings. Identify the feelings you think you hear • State your own feelings. works especially well when you are angry. • Ask for information or clarification. • Offer to help solve the problem.

13. Active Listening • Instead of simply mirroring what the other person says, many of us immediately respond in a way that analyzes or attempts to solve or dismiss the problem. • لايبحث عن حل المشكلة بل يريد التعاطف معه على انه يواجه اوقات عصيبة • People with problems need first of all to know that we hear that they're having a rough time.

14. Blocking Response vs. Active Response Blocking Response Active Response Paraphrasing content “You’re saying that you don’t have time to finish the report by Friday.” Mirroring feelings “It sounds like the department’s problems really bother you.” • Ordering, threatening “I don’t care how you do it. Just get that report on my desk by Friday.” • Preaching, criticizing “You should know better than to air “bring to public” the department’s problems in a general meeting.” some of the responses that block communication

15. Blocking Response vs. Active Response Blocking Response Active Response Stating one’s own feelings “I’m frustrated that the job isn’t completed yet, and I’m worried about getting it done on time.” Asking for information or clarification “What parts of the problem seem most difficult to solve?” • Interrogating “Why didn’t you tell me that you didn’t understand the instructions?” • Minimizing the problem “You think that’s bad. You should see what I have to do this week.” some of the responses that block communication

16. Blocking Response vs. Active Response Blocking Response Active Response Offering to help solve the problem “Is there anything I could do that would help?” • Advising “Well, why don’t you try listing everything you have to do and seeing which items are most important?” some of the responses that block communication

17. To Show You’re Listening • To show people that you are listening, acknowledge comments with: • Words. • Nonverbal symbols. • Actions.

18. Can I use these techniques if I really disagree with someone? • Most of us do our worst listening when we are in highly charged emotional situations, such as talking with someone with whom we really disagree, getting bad news, or being criticized. • At work, you need to listen even to people with whom you have major conflicts. • Good listening is crucial when you are criticized, especially by your boss.

19. Unit Five End of Module 17