SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX

1. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX • Between adults • Adult to child • Canadian terminology: sexual assault • Sexual assault covers rape and other unwanted, imposed physical sex (e.g. kissing, groping, etc.) Will use “rape” to signify non-consensual penetration • Date rape, acquaintance rape, stranger rape • Sexual harassment

2. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX • Mostly by non-strangers • 95-98% of these acts perpetrated by men • NOT 95-98% of men perpetrate these acts • Sociocultural context: glorification of violence: • wars • sports • ‘manliness’ (‘machismo’) • TV, movies • computer games • world view of women as objects, hostility toward women, double standard • belief in rape myths • patriarchal society

3. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX • Culturally accepted goals: get “it” by any means: • lying, cajoling, emotional blackmail, alcohol and drugs, force. • Women: impossible bind: • if assertive, vilified • if agreeable, “sluts”, “nymphos” • if submissive, assume consent • Non-consensual sex highest in non-egalitarian societies

4. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX CHARACTERISTICS OF SEXUALLY COERCIVE MEN • Recent Canadian studies have found these characteristics: • sensation seeking • early history of behavioural problems • high levels of hostility • poor sexual adjustment • serious problems with alcohol (often families) • some were sexually or physically abused as children, as adults identify with the aggressor role • inability to express emotions • use of pornography during childhood and adolescence (violence and sex) • Although these traits are found in higher proportion in coercive men, it does not constitute a “profile”.

5. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX • Non-verbal • Verbal • Physical • Alone, in gradient or together • Varying scripts depending on SES, age • Extreme physical: rape • Least ambiguous: stranger rape • Most ambiguous: sexual harassment • Historical background: woman as property

6. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX Sexual harassment: • non-verbal: suggestive sounds, obscene gestures, extreme leering. Most common, least recognized. • verbal: suggestions or requests for sex, comments on body, attire, use of crude language to refer to person’s body parts, functions, showing porno.

7. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX Sexual harassment (cont’d): • physical: unnecessary touching, grasping, cornering, hugging, kissing without consent or encouragement. Least common, most recognized. Rate of false accusations: 2% (same as any other crime) Effects: depression, illness, insomnia, absenteeism.

8. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX • May follow a pattern reminiscent, in a distorted way, of normal, dyadic interaction: • First contact in a dyadic interaction is usually non-verbal: eyes, body movements. • In coercive: insistent looking, leering, obscene gestures, suggestive sounds, shadowing.

9. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX • Verbal: in dyadic situation: exchange small talk, agree to dance, go out, etc. • In coercive: requests are too persistent, may be vulgar remarks with sexual overtones. • Physical: dyadic: mutual touching, hand holding, etc. • Coercive: touching, grabbing, cornering, hugging, but one-sided.

10. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX • Initially difficult to label unequivocally. Can be confused with socially accepted scripts. • Basic operating principle of perp: she’s playing hard to get but she wants it as much as I do, she’ll come around if I don’t let up. (Scarlett O’Hara Script) • Confusion: culture teaches women to play hard to get: hard to know when it’s not an act if the other person is insensitive or has poor social skills.

11. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX Date rape: • Alcohol – consensual or not. • Drugs – consensual or not. • Rohypnol. GHB • Epidemic on many North American campuses. BC study: 27% sexual assaults involved these drugs • In a survey, 76% of college males said they would rape if they could get away with it. • Sex as male gratification only.

12. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX Sexual assault: • No characteristic profile of rapist. • No characteristic profile of victim. • Can be stranger, acquaintance, close friend, boyfriend or husband. • Some men sexually assaulted by other men. • Power trip, punishment.

13. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX Sexual assault (cont’d): • War rapes as conquest and subjugation of the enemy, ethnic cleansing, Bosnia, Sudan. • Common in certain populations of men: sports, military. • Gang rape as “bonding” experience.

14. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX Child Sexual Abuse: • Very widespread • Hard to get accurate figures • Sometimes entire communities • Mt. Cashel • Most common: family friend, relative • Occupations with kids: • daycare • school • scouts • sports

15. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX Child Sexual Abuse (cont’d): • Conspiracy of silence • Incest • Pedophilia – adult who likes to have sex with children • Pederasty • Some believe children are capable of consensual sex, and of enjoying it. • Prostitution and pornography. • Sex tourism, e.g. Thailand, Philippines. • Web child pornography.

16. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX Legally, a child cannot consent to sexual activity. (To age 14). ANY sexual activity between adult and child is considered abusive. Sexual activities: • exhibitionism • kissing • fondling • sexual touching • oral sex • vaginal intercourse • anal intercourse

17. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX Between 14 and 17 consent is possible if: • there is no relationship of trust, authority or dependency • there is no payment or offer of payment • there is no anal intercourse About 90% of child sexual abuse is not reported.

18. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX • Internet • Child prostitution • Dedicated magazines and organizations: goal: legalization of sex with children. • Increased use in advertising • Profile: insecure, unassertive • Short jail terms: reoffend • Counselling: low effectiveness, most don’t receive • Castration: surgical or chemical, issue of compliance, not always effective

19. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX • Abusers bribe kids: toys, money, etc. • Consequences for victims: • anxiety • PTSS • depression • low self-esteem • psychosomatic illness • aggression • abnormal interest in sex • school problems • sleep problems, nightmares • more vulnerable to subsequent abuse • Lowest risk: assertive child

20. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX • Kiddie porn and child prostitution: big business • Some parents involved in both • Beauty contests and modeling ages 2 onward • Reification and sexualization of children

21. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX • In this area more female abusers, profit motive in some (female pimps). • Women also act as passive helpers of male abusers, e.g. turning a blind eye to husband/boyfriend having sex with young daughter. • Some women more active involvement: luring, restraining, etc.

22. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX • Women’s role as sexual abusers rare, several antecedents: • mental illness • victim of sexual abuse as a child • immaturity • situational blockage from normal adult sex • drug abuse • babysitters: to quiet boy, to have “fun” watching e.g. baby boy erection • historical data from France: young women having fun with little boys (6-12 yrs.)

23. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX • Three types of female abusers described (Matthews): • male coerced • teacher/lover • predisposed • One difference with male abusers: apparent lack of sexual arousal, more like self-hatred, hatred of own body and of femininity.

24. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX • Mostly female-female, many mother-daughter. Looser boundaries for physical contact, less clear what is inappropriate. • Majority of victims don’t report, even to therapists, research difficult. • Victims have difficulty with • gender identity • sexual orientation • individuation (developing sense of self as separate individual from mother)

25. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX Repressed and recovered memories of abuse • False memory syndrome (E. Loftus) • Lobby group (some known pedophiles) • Survivors damaged by controversy • Unethical therapists (MPD) • 2% false reporting (as any crime) damage credibility of 98%

26. SEXUAL COERCION OR NON-CONSENSUAL SEX • How are memories repressed? • Dissociation, it defends from pain and helps to comply with secrecy (usually threats), facilitates continued interaction with abuser in ‘normal’ circumstances. • Abuser can be dissociated into two different people: 1) very good and 2) very evil.

27. Victims of Sexual Assault 15% males 85% females

28. All Abusers 2.5% Women 95%-98% Men Whole Population 20% abusers 80% non-abusers

29. All Men 15% All Women 85% 1% 99%