Bullies

1. By: Amanda Petrush Bullies and their Victims http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNwADDvekes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNnYVBtrFvA

2. Statistics... • 1 out of 4 children are bullied. • 1 out of 5 children admits to being a bully, or doing some type "Bullying.“ • 8% of students miss 1 day of class per month for fear of Bullies. • 43% fear harassment in the bathroom at school. • 100,000 students carry a gun to school. • 28% of youths who carry weapons have witnessed violence at home. • A poll of teens ages 12-17 proved that they think violence increased at their schools. • 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month.

3. Stats Cont... • More youth violence occurs on school grounds as opposed to on the way to school. • 80% of the time, an argument with a bully will end up in a physical fight. • 1/3 of students surveyed said they heard another student threaten to kill someone. • 1 out of 5 teens knows someone who brings a gun to school. • 2 out of 3 say they know how to make a bomb, or know where to get the info. to do it. • Almost half of all students say they know another student who's capable of murder. • Playground statistics - Every 7 minutes a child is bullied. Adult intervention - 4%. Peer intervention - 11%. No intervention - 85%. 

4. Victims Victims are usually loners. Many times it's how kids carry themselves. Girls in cliques will pick on you simply because you don't wear your hair or clothes they way they see fit to be cool. Bullies don't always have a reason for who they pick on or why, but when they do have a reason, it usually results in them singling out a smaller person. This would include kids who are not as tall, and most definitely would include younger kids, who obviously would be smaller. This makes you easier to control. Many schools admit that the lockers are the most common place that bullying takes place. Teachers could take turns standing by these lockers during class changes. (Everyone has been bullied to some degree, whether mentally or physically)

5. WHAT CAN YOU DO TO HELP YOUR CHILD? • The first step is to get your child to admit there is a problem. • Then give them this option: They might want to settle the situation themselves before getting you involved (you calling the school or bully's parents). • You might try giving them some ideas. • You also might try a type of role-playing to see how your child acts around other kids.

6. There are many different things that could be tried in this situation. Ideas for what your kids can do include three options: •  *confront •  *ignore •  *avoid • There are many things your child could say back to the bullies: • "Name calling isn't cool" • "I don't want to fight. Can't we be friends instead?" • "Why are you mad at me? I never hurt you." • Bullies usually like the effect they get when they shock or hurt someone. • Maybe if your child just laughed it off, like they are joking, they would get tired of calling him/her names and it wouldn't seem fun (or effective) anymore. • If it keeps up, and nothing your child says helps, and ignoring and avoiding don't work AND the school won't get involved, then you will have to contact the parents of the "name callers."

7. Advice For Parents of Both Victims & Bullies • Parents really need to get more involved in their children's lives. • Promote honesty. • Ask questions. • Listen with an open mind and focus on understanding. • Allow children to express how they feel, and treat a child's feelings with respect. • Set a good example by showing them a healthy temperament.

8. Advice For Parents of Both Victims & Bullies con't... • Settle conflicts by talking things out peacefully. • Congratulate or reward them when you see them using these positive skills to settle a difference. • Teach them to identify "the problem", and focus on the problem, "not" attacking "the person.“ • Tell them conflicts are a way of life, but violence doesn't have to be. • And finally, teaching them to take responsibility for their own actions will make for a healthier child, a healthier self-esteem, and there will be no need for any "bullies" or "victims" in the world.

9. Are You a Bully??? • Does it make you feel better to hurt other people or take their things? • Are you bigger and stronger than other people your age? • Do you sometimes use your size and strength to get your way? • Have you been bullied by someone in the past and feel like you have to make up for it by doing the same thing to others? • Do you avoid thinking about how other people might feel if you say or do hurtful things to them?

10. About the skit... • Everybody got a stick note • 2 people in the group were a bully, can you • guess who they were? • Who got picked on the most? Why? • Who got picked on the least? Why? • How did your part make you feel?

11. Any Questions?

12. Resources Berk, L. (2006). Child Development. (7th edition) http://www.ag.ndsu.edu/pubs/yf/famsci/fs570w.htm http://www.kidlink.org/kie/nls/english/friends/lesson2.html#q5 http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/emotion/bullies.html http://pbskids.org/itsmylife/friends/bullies/index.html