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The Root of Quarrels and Fights

Explore the origins of conflicts in relationships, driven by selfish desires and worldly influences, with practical insights on humility and grace.

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The Root of Quarrels and Fights

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  1. The Root of Quarrels and Fights “Real Life” [James] Series [18] James 4:1-6

  2. FROM JEALOUSY & SELF-AMBITION TO QUARRELS & FIGHTS • What motivates false wisdom [the way of the world]? • SELF-centeredness [jealousy/selfish ambition] vs. GOD-centeredness [purity/meekness] • What relational outcome does it bring? • Quarrels/Fights vs. Peace/Harmony • Its nature reflects Three Enemies in our spiritual warfare: • “unspiritual”: the flesh • “earthly”: the world • “demonic”: the devil

  3. WHAT IS AT THE ROOT OF QUARRELS AND FIGHTS? 1) Quarrels and fights among us are rooted in conflicting passions of our insatiable SELF. 1What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 2You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.3You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. (vs.1-3) • In context, James’ focus is dissensions within the church. • Our inner evil “passions” [Gk. "hēdonē”] of the flesh are the source of our outer dissensions. • Inner evil desires lead us to sins that cause outer conflicts.

  4. “You desire and do not have, so you murder.” (v.2a) “You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.” (v.2b) “You do not have, because you do not ask.” (v.2c) “You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.” (v.3)

  5. WHAT IS AT THE ROOT OF QUARRELS AND FIGHTS? 1) Quarrels and fights among us are rooted in conflicting passions of our insatiable SELF. 1What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 2You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.3You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. (vs.1-3) • In context, James’ focus is within the church. • Our inner evil passions [Gk. "hēdonē”] of the flesh are the source of our outer dissensions. • Inner evil desires lead us to sins that cause outer conflicts. • Our prayers are NOT answered if we ask with wrong motives.

  6. 1O LORD, my heart is not lifted up;   my eyes are not raised too high . . . 2But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. Psalm 131:1-2

  7. WHAT IS AT THE ROOT OF QUARRELS AND FIGHTS? 2) Conflicting passions of our insatiable self are fueled by the way of the world. 4 You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. 5Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, "He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us"?  (vs.4-5) • We as the Church [Christ’s bride] are married to Christ. • The world offers the opposite ways and values from Christ’s—hence, the worldliness feeds our SELF [the flesh]. • Friendship with the world is spiritual adultery [=disloyalty to Christ]. • In so doing, it makes oneself an enemy of God.

  8. "'Return, faithless Israel, declares the LORD. I will not look on you in anger, for I am merciful, declares the LORD; I will not be angry forever.” Jeremiah 3:12

  9. WHAT IS AT THE ROOT OF QUARRELS AND FIGHTS? 3) The cure for both selfishness and worldliness begins with humility to which God’s grace flows. But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." (v.6) • Pride is the driving force of all selfish desire in many forms (e.g., self-entitlement, self-rationalization, self-gratification, etc.) • God opposes the proud and will disciplines us through difficult people and conflicts. • God’s grace flows always downward. • Therefore, our first step toward receiving God’s grace is to humble ourselves to God who gives grace to the humble.

  10. Just as water ever seeks and fills the lowest place, so the moment God finds you abased and empty, His glory and power flow in. Andrew Murray

  11. PRACTICAL IMPLICATIONS FOR OUR EVERYDAY LIFE •  Fight your inner battle by DENYING YOUR SELFISH DESIRES. Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. 1 Peter 2:11 • Face your inner battles first before dealing with your outer battles. • Face your own selfish desires and surrender them to God.

  12. PRACTICAL IMPLICATIONS FOR OUR EVERYDAY LIFE 2. Turn away from FLIRTING WITH THE GLAMOUR of this world. 15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For all that is in the world— the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. 1 John 2:15-16  • Realize that it is spiritual adultery [glamour: “exciting and often illusory and romantic attractiveness”]. • Keep your undivided loyalty to God and God’s way.

  13. PRACTICAL IMPLICATIONS FOR OUR EVERYDAY LIFE 3. Seek God’s grace by HUMBLING YOURSELF. Though He scoffs at the scoffers and scorns the scorners, yet He gives His undeserved favor to the low [in rank], the humble, and the afflicted. Proverbs 3:34 [AMP] • Humble yourself by acknowledging your spiritual poverty. • Humble yourself by submitting to the Spirit’s leading.

  14. James 4:1-6 [J.B. Philips’ Paraphrase] 4:1-3 - But about the feuds and struggles that exist among you - where do you suppose they come from? Can't you see that they arise from conflicting passions within yourselves? You crave for something and don't get it, you are jealous and envious of what others have got and you don't possess it yourselves. Consequently in your exasperated frustration you struggle and fight with one another. You don't get what you want because you don't ask God for it. And when you do ask he doesn't give it to you, for you ask in quite the wrong spirit—you only want to satisfy your own desires.

  15. James 4:1-6 [J.B. Philips’ Paraphrase] 4:4-6 - You are like unfaithful wives, flirting with the glamour of this world, and never realizing that to be the world's lover means becoming the enemy of God! Anyone who deliberately chooses to love the world is thereby making himself God's enemy. Do you think what the scriptures have to say about this is a mere formality? Or do you imagine that this spirit of passionate jealousy is the Spirit he has caused to live in us? No, he gives us grace potent enough to meet this and every other evil spirit, if we are humble enough to receive it. That is why he says: 'God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.'

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