Coping with Emotions

1. Humber Recovery College Humber Recovery College Humber Recovery College Humber Recovery College Coping with Emotions Session 5: Advanced Mindfulness

2. Last time, we discussed: • What mindfulness is and how it can be of benefit to us • Focus shifting, mindfulness awareness of emotions, focus on single object/minute • Ways of integrating mindfulness into everyday life • DBT States of Mind Model Quick Review of Last Session

3. Aim to : • Use Thought Diffusion • Reflect on our tendency to make negative judgments • Consider mindful communication • Create a mindfulness regime • Focus on moment-to-moment stream of awareness • Separate your thoughts from your emotions and physical sensations Aims of Today’s Session

4. Now we turn our attention to thoughts • We are going to identify the number of thoughts we have in a 3minute period • This exercise will help you become more mindful of just how quickly your mind really works I will time three minutes; for those three minutes, write down every thought you have. Don’t write the whole thought, just a word to sum the thought up Thoughts & Thought Diffusion

5. Thought diffusion is borrowed from Acceptance & Commitment Therapy which has proven to be a very successful treatment for emotional distress • It’s easy to get ‘hooked’ on repetitive distressing thoughts. • Our aim to be able to mindfully observe our thoughts without getting stuck on them • With practice, you can gain the freedom to choose which thoughts you want to focus on and which thoughts you want to let go of Thought Diffusion

6. Thought Diffusion Imagine sitting in a field watching your thoughts float away on clouds Picture yourself sitting by a stream watching your thoughts float past on leaves See your thoughts written in the sand and then watch the waves wash them away Picture yourself driving your car and seeing your thoughts pass by on billboards See your thoughts leave your head and watch them sizzle in the flame of a candle Imagine sitting beside a tree and watch your thoughts float down on leaves Picture yourself standing in a room with two doors, then watch your thoughts enter through one door and leave through the other

7. Thought Diffusion

8. Remember that a crucial part of mindfulness is becoming aware of your thoughts, feelings, emotions and physical sensations without judging or criticising! • In order to be truly mindful in the present moment and be fully centred in wise mind, you must practice being non-judgmental • Example: Thomas Radical Acceptance

9. The first step to changing a problem is realising when the problem occurs • So recognising when you are being judgmental or critical • GROUP EXERCISE: Generate a list of some of the negative judgements you have made in the last week – these could be about yourself, others or the environment Negative Judgments

10. It may be helpful to use a visual reminder to remind yourself to write down your negative judgments • For example, you could wear a bracelet or a band around your wrist, or put a note on your fridge saying ‘judgments’ Catch yourself in the act!

11. The next piece of work you will need to do this week is keep a record of positive judgments • If we want to learn to accept, we need to become aware of our tendency to make judgments OF ANY KIND • GROUP ACTIVITY: Discuss occasions in the last week when you made positive judgements Beginner’s Mind

12. Judgment Diffusion

13. As you deepen your skills in mindfulness, it’s important to incorporate them into your interactions with others. • If you are judgmental in the way you communicate with someone, you may lose that relationship • Exercise One Let’s spend a few minutes in pairs discussing times when you have been involved in an interaction with another person, and you felt you were being judged and not fully listened to • Exercise Two And now, in pairs discuss an occasion when you think that maybe you were a little judgmental Mindful Communication

14. GROUP ACTIVITY: If you were being mindful when communicating with another person, how might that look? • Draw a mind map of the things that might be happening in a communication if you were being more mindful within it • Also think about different forms of communication – e.g. Email, text, social media, face-to-face, telephone – would it be different in each of these cases? Mindful Communication

15. Mindful communication is communication that is based on how you feel • You learn to be able to let someone know how you feel in a non-judgmental way • This method of communication evokes greater empathy and understanding from others Mindful “I” Statements

16. How might we rephrase these to be mindful “I” statements? • You make me feel horrible • I know you’re doing this on purpose to drive me crazy • Why do you keep making me so angry? • You’re being insulting • You’re getting on my nerves • You’re being a jerk, stop it • Why do you keep doing this to me? • Sometimes I feel like you’re being too inflexible Mindful “I” Statements

17. You make me feel horrible • I feel horrible • I know you’re doing this on purpose to drive me crazy • I feel crazy when you do that • Why do you keep making me so angry? • I feel angry right now • You’re being insulting • I feel like an idiot when you do that • You’re getting on my nerves • I feel tense when you tease me like that • You’re being a jerk, stop it • I feel hurt when you do that • Why do you keep doing this to me? • I feel very hurt when you do that to me • Sometimes I feel like you’re being too inflexible • I feel uncomfortable when you don’t consider my point of view Mindful “I” Statements

18. This is a concept in DBT that in which you do what is appropriate and necessary in the present moment • This may around resolving a problem, coping with a situation, or reaching your goal • Sometimes, the new strategies may feel unnatural and go against your emotions • Sometimes, in order to get what you need, you have to modify what you feel like doing, especially if you struggle with overwhelming emotions. Let’s look at a few examples…(p.104) Doing What’s Effective

19. In order to do what’s effective, you have to: • Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings • Avoid judging the situation or your actions • Choose actions that are appropriate and necessary to reach your goal • Do the best you can Doing What’s Effective

20. Mindfulness skills are all about practice – the more you do it, the easier it becomes, and the more you will benefit from all you have learnt This week’s homework tasks are: • Negative judgments record • Positive Judgments record Things you read in the paper or see on the news Judgments about yourself Judgments about other people Judgments about the things you do Judgments about things like the weather or the temperature Just do as much as you would like to and feel able to do! Homework: Integrating Mindfulness Skills into Everyday Life

21. Let’s finish with a final mindfulness activity: • You’ve practiced being mindful of both an object outside of yourself, and your internal physical sensations Next, we can combine the two experiences • This exercise teaches you how to recognise and focus on your thoughts, emotions and physical sensations • This is done by shifting your attention back and forth in a mindful, focused way, between what you are experiencing internally, such as physical sensations and thoughts, and what you notice via your senses Inner-Outer Experience

22. Inner-Outer ExperienceExercise

23. Course Overview

24. Humber Recovery College Well Done! You’ve completed Session 5!Next Week: Session 6: Basic Emotional Regulation Skills