Sex Addiction in the New Media Frontier

1. Sex Addiction in the New Media Frontier • Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S • Founding Director - The Sexual Recovery Institute • Director of Sexual Disorder Programs • Elements Behavioral Health (Promises, The Ranch & SRI) Note: This presentation will demonstrate methods utilized to access online sexual experiences. Explicit images will not be shown, however please carefully consider if learning such information might prove harmful to your personal health or recovery.

2. The Problem

3. Fmr. President Bill Clinton • Fmr. Governor Elliot Spitzer • Fmr. Governor Mark Spencer • Fmr. Congressman Chris Lee • Fmr. Congressman Larry Craig • Fmr. Sports Hero Tiger Woods • Fmr. Chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn • Fmr. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger • Fmr. Congressman Anthony Weiner All are men whose SEXUAL BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS mortally wounded their ability to lead. But what if their problem had been drinking or drugs like Congressman Patrick Kennedy?

4. Is Sexual Addiction a legitimate mental health diagnosis or just an excuse for bad behavior? • Was in the DSM III • Was out of the DSM IV • Now being considered for the DSM V (Hypersexuality)

5. Typical Sex Addict Behaviors • Compulsive Use of Porn (with or without masturbation) • Anonymous Sex (met online or in sex clubs etc.) • Adult Bookstores and Strip Clubs • Sexual Exchange (i.e. Drugs or Favors for Sex) • Prostitutes and Massage Parlors • Cruising, Intriguing, Objectifying, Seduction • Pushing Boundaries, Boundary Violations • Multiple Affairs / Anonymous Infidelity • GPS SmartPhone Hook-ups • Sexting / Abusing Social Networks / Anonymous Hook-ups

6. Sex Addiction is not • Axis I Symptom- we out ADD/OCD/Bi-P • A Moral or Religious Stance • Fun • Fetish / Paraphilia • Same Sex Interest or Activity • Crystal Meth Addiction • Sexual Offending - non consensual

7. Sexual Addiction is a Diagnosis that Follows the Same Criteria as All Addictive Disorders • Criteria for Sex Addiction parallels guidelines for assessing Substance Dependency, Alcoholism, and Compulsive Gambling: • Loss of control • Continuation despite adverse consequences • Obsession or preoccupation • The presence of all three criteria operationally defines addiction to any drug or behavior

8. Sexual Addiction is the use of Intense Fantasy to Induce Neurochemical Release • Serotonin - mood stability • Dopamine - pleasure • Adrenaline - energy, jolt • Endorphins - calm • Oxytocin - love/jealousy This release temporarily provides: affect management, emotional self-regulation, dissociation and distraction from current stressors

9. ADDICTS CALL IT… • The Bubble • The Trance • Spaced Out • Think ... • Fight or Flight • Dissociative State • Trauma • Self Soothing

10. In 12-Step Language ... • POWERLESS!

11. Sex Addiction is not about sex or orgasm. It is about the search for sex and desire for orgasm.It’s a Process Addiction.

12. The Process Addictions • Gambling • Internet Gaming • Workaholism • Binge Eating • Sex • Exercise • Religion • Spending • High Risk Behaviors

13. Sexual Addiction Symptoms in Residential or Outpatient Clients • By History • Multiple abortions (females), multiple STDs (both sexes), repeated unprotected sex • Previous arrest or major life consequences related to sex • Drugs/Alcohol used to help tolerate or enhance sex • History of previous sexual acting out in treatment • Drug use fused with sexual behavior • Multiple past failed relationships due to affairs or infidelity • Chronic or Compulsive Masturbation with or without porn

14. Sexual Addiction Symptoms in Residential or Outpatient Clients • By Behavior • Seductive Dress (especially after it is pointed out) • Seeking out “special relationships” with other attractive clients or staff for advice, friendship and direction • Giving “the stare”, being sexual in treatment • History of CD relapse – especially females • Encouraging Dependency as a form of seduction • Sneaking & using porn in treatment - sharing porn in treatment. • Consistent sexual references and objectification in jokes and conversation • Lack of empathy about how their sexual behavior affects others.

15. Sex, Tech & Addiction

16. How long did it take for the following technologies to reach 50 million participants following public introduction? • Radio - 38 years • Television - 13 years • Internet - 4 years • Social Networking - 16 months! • Whatever comes next will happen close to instantaneously. It will be in our lives before we know it our fully understand it. So get ready.

17. How has technology radically evolved our experience of sexual content and human sexual connection over the past 25 years? • Access • Affordability • Anonymity • * Cooper, Del Monico et al 1998 - 1999

18. Sexual Access Timeline 1.0 Pre-history - 1890 • Recreational and Intimate Sexuality • Cave-drawn and painted pornography • Affairs & Infidelity • Public Baths and Steam Rooms • Prostitutes & Harems • Masturbation

19. Sexual Access Timeline2.0 1890 - 1970’s • All of the above plus ... • Photographic Porn • Porn Movies • Porn theaters, Porn shops • Bath-houses & Strip clubs

20. Sexual Content Access 3.0 1977 - 1990 • All of the above plus ... • Video = VCR and BETA • Phone Sex • Softcore on cable TV- at home • “Adult” and “Escort” Sections in Yellow Pages, magazines and newspapers

21. Sexual Content Access 4.0 1990 - 2004 • All of the above plus ... • BBS - Online bulletin board systems (BBS) • Websites for porn and prostitution • Online Porn and file transfer sites • Chat Rooms • Online Hook-ups - i.e. craigslist • Webcams and interactive live sex

22. Sexual Content Access 5.0 2004 - Present • All of the above plus ... • Sexting and live video streaming from your smart phone • Smart Phones with GPS hook-up apps • Social Networks (facebook, twitter, mySpace) • Virtual World Sex (2nd-Life, virtual games etc) • 3-D Imagery and Teledildonics

23. About Sexting Eewwwwwwwww! And some are using it to offend ...

24. 3-D Adult Video in the News2011 • The first 3D porn full feature film made for modern stereoscopic TVs-those that use shutter eyeglasses-has arrived… It’s called Kama-sutra. • Sharp’s 3D mobile video will support user movie creation which, in turn, will promote the viewing of 3D content — both amateur low-cost video and corporate premium content.

25. facehooked? • “Before entering treatment I was spending up to 5 hours a night some nights cruising facebook for sex. Well, not for sex exactly, it was more cruising for faces and profiles I thought might respond to me. I was looking for friendly, engaging women, then leaving messages, poking them, trying to get a response from someone who cared. Then we would take it from there ... ” • - A 32 year old married SRI-IOP client

26. About Smartphones • GPS locators mean immediate live access to sexual partners and sexual content- • Universal Internet access anywhere - to porn, to sexually oriented environments (strip clubs, adult bookstores, etc) • Live video streaming to phones and pads- • Let’s look at this more closely ...

27. There’s an app for that!So what’s an app? • Apps are applications that you load from the Internet onto your smart phone or ‘pad’ to perform specific functions. For example - if you load a dictionary app onto your phone- you can then use your phone to look up words and spelling from your phone • Sex apps are the same - loaded from to your phone to help find sexual partners.

29. What makes phone based Apps different from Websites? • They are useful for anyone wary of leaving tracks on work or home computers. Because the apps are loaded up from phones' browsers, they leave no electronic, traceable trail. • Social connection apps utilize the active Global Positioning Satellite feature (GPS) on your phone so you can find a sex partner literally within feet or blocks of where you sit.

30. Apps you should know about • Ashley Madison - for married men and women • Grindr - for gay men • Qrusher Girls - for lesbian women • Loopd-Mix Chat! - to find all types of partners • Adult Friend Finder - no explanation needed

31. AboutAshley Madison • Started as a website - now also a mobile app - perfect example of content access progression • AM Slogan: “Life is short, have an affair.” • AM Mission Statement: “To provide an interactive way for like-minded users to explore whether they wish to meet each other, chat with each other and/or explore extra-marital relationships” • Over 3-million members internationally • In May 2009 – 679,000 men and women used the service to contact a sexual partner in that single month • 92% of males on the site sign in as married • 60% of female members sign in as married

33. Teledildonics with your Wii... By hooking up the hardware components up to the two Wii-motes, wiggles and thrusts on the first Wii-moteare detected and sent via Bluetooth to a nearby computer. From there this information is sent over the Internet and reproduced by the otherWii-mote which acts as a Wii-bratoron the other end, allowing remote partners to simultaneously enjoy each others stimulations.

34. And about this, I can only say ... • Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! And it’s only $279.00 with your Wii Console

35. The good tech news you should also know about • Treatment and recovery are also entering the new media frontier, albeit a bit more slowly. All of us need to be aware of these options for our clients. Some examples include: • Tele-meetings • Online 12-step Chats • Online Skype Meetings • Face to face video sponsorship • Apps like Mobi-Stealth- to keep track of your addict • Virtual Reality de-sensitization techniques ...

36. The NEW GENERATION GAP Old Gap New Gap In essence, we (older, wiser, professional folks) are inadvertently becoming invisible!

37. Sexual Addiction Information • The Sexual Recovery Institutewww.sexualrecovery.com • The Ranch www.recoveryranch.com • IITAP - International Institute for Trauma, and Addiction Professionals www.iitap.com • SASH - The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health www.sash.net • Esummits www.esummits.com

38. Sex Addiction in the New Media Frontier • Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S • Founding Director - The Sexual Recovery Institute • Director of Sexual Disorder Programs • Elements Behavioral Health (Promises, The Ranch & SRI) Note: This presentation will demonstrate methods utilized to access online sexual experiences. Explicit images will not be shown, however please carefully consider if learning such information might prove harmful to your personal health or recovery.