Focus Essay Peer Review

1. Focus Essay Peer Review The Focus Essay Grading Process

2. Things to Remember About Focus Essays • You have limited space to propose and support a large idea or concept. So… • Every word counts • You only have 500 or so, so choose them carefully and give each one value. Don’t be redundant, vague, or weak. • Every sentence counts and takes up space • You only have 500 words or so, so make each sentence fit perfectly. • Every paragraph matters • Give each one equal attention. Don’t favor one over the other. But make them work together. • Every mistake in format or grammar matters • So peer review and self review

3. Formatting and Organization • Big Questions: • Does the writer make serious and/or lazy mistakes in writing? • Is the essay understandable?

4. Step One: Formatting MLA • Is the header in proper the MLA format? • Writer’s Name • Mr. Parizo • Period # • Date • Scan the Focus Essay for quotes. Are they parenthetically cited properly? • (Future assignments will require MLA works cited)

5. Step One: Format - Quote • Is there a quote from the text at the top of the paper? • Is it typed? • Is it centered? • Is it boldfaced? • Is it in quotes? • Is it otherwise grammatically correct (keeping in mind that it may be verbatim from the text)?

6. Step One: Format - Title • Is there a title for this essay below the quote? • Is it typed? • Is it centered? • Is it grammatically correct? • Spelled correctly?

7. Step One: Format – Word Count • Is there a word count at the end of the essay? • If so, is it in brackets? • Is it typed? • Does the word count fall between the numbers 475 and 525?

8. Step One: Format - Paragraphs • Are there three paragraphs? • Are the paragraphs of approximate equal length, giving equal space for each paragraph, allotting equal space to each argument?

9. Step Two: Organization • Read the first paragraph and the first paragraph only. • Is there a thesis statement in this paragraph? If so, underline it. If not, write “Thesis?” in the left or right margin of this paragraph. • Are there any quotes or paraphrases used from any source within this paragraph? If not, write “Evidence?” within the margin. • Does this paragraph make sense structurally (not conceptually)? Do you understand what the writer attempts to prove?

10. Step Two: Organization • Read the second paragraph and the second paragraph only. • ONLY IF THERE WAS NO THESIS IN PARAGRAPH ONE: Is there a thesis statement in this paragraph? If so, underline it. If not, write “Thesis?” in the left or right margin of this paragraph. • Are there any quotes or paraphrases used from any source within this paragraph? If not, write “Evidence?” within the margin. • Does this paragraph make sense structurally (not conceptually)? Do you understand what the writer attempts to prove?

11. Step Two: Organization • Read the third paragraph and the third paragraph only. • Are there any quotes or paraphrases used from any source within this paragraph? If not, write “Evidence?” within the margin. • Does this paragraph make sense structurally (not conceptually)? Do you understand what the writer attempts to prove? If not, put a question mark alongside the margins.

12. Read the Organization Criterion on your IB Rubric 0 = Many mistakes were made – mistakes are obvious and the essay is impossible to understand. Obvious lack of proofreading. 1-2 = Many mistakes were made – mistakes are obvious and the essay was difficult to understand. 3-4 = Many mistakes were made – mistakes are obvious, but the essay was understandable. 5-6 = Some mistakes were made – essay was well-organized and easy to understand. 7-8 = Few mistakes were made – essay was easy to understand. 9-10 = No mistakes were made – perfectly formatted. Essay was easy to understand.

13. Style • Big Questions: • Did the writer edit his/her paper? • Did the writer choose his/her words carefully? Does every word have value? • Does the writing have clarity? • Does the writing balance between long and short sentences? • Does the writing possess qualities that hinder communication of the essay’s argument?

14. Step Three: Style • Read each paragraph one by one. At the end of each paragraph look for and mark: • Simple (and stupid grammar mistakes): non-indented paragraphs, capitalized or non-capitalized words, spelling errors, misuse of synonyms, missing punctuation, etc. • Short, choppy sentences or long-winded and droning sentences.

15. Step Three: Style - Clarity • Find every usage of the words “this” or “that.” • Circle each usage that is not directly defined within the same sentence. • Example (defined): “Rip’s poor nature and lack of work ethic holds him back from growth and, because of this, he does not possess the qualities of a Romantic hero.” • Example (non-defined): “This happens because Dame Van Winkle won’t allow Rip to grow.”

16. Step Three: Style – Verbs with Value • Search each paragraph for and circle each usage of “to be” verbs. This includes: • Is Is not • Was Was not • Are Are not • Become Became • Were Were not • Be, been, or being • Look for all contractions of “to be” verbs: • Rip’s going to go on a Romantic journey. • Because he’s never facing a challenge, Rip does not possess the qualities of a Romantic Hero. (But make sure they are not possessive)

17. Step Three: Adverbs and Adjectives with Value • Find every adverb and/or adjective that ends in “–ly” (clearly, really, quickly, happily, etc.) • Put boxes around these words. • If these words are redundant, or unnecessary, mark it. If not, leave them boxed. “As to the Adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.” –Mark Twain

18. Style 0 = lots of valueless verbs (“to be” verbs), sentences are too simple or too complex for clarity. Lots of grammar mistakes that make you think that the writer did not read the paper themselves. It’s annoying. 1-2 = lots of valueless verbs, sentences are too simple or too complex. Grammar mistakes are all over the place – makes the paper difficult to understand. 3-4 = some valueless verbs. Some of the sentences are too simple or too complex. Many grammar mistakes that sometimes make the paper hard to understand. 5-6 =no valueless verbs. A few sentences are too simple or too complex. Grammar mistakes exist, but not enough to make the paper difficult to understand. 7-8 = no valueless verbs. One or two simple sentences or too complex ones. One or two grammar mistakes, but nothing to make the paper difficult to follow. 9-10 = no valueless verbs appear in the paper at all. Sentences have a perfect balance of simplicity and complexity. No problems understanding the essay.

19. Step Four: Content Understanding • Big Questions • Did the writer provide enough credibility to argue what is argued within the paper? • Did the writer bring new information into discussion, or did the writer regurgitate or reword class notes (or ideas expressed in class)?

20. Step Four: Content Understanding • Read the first paragraph. Did the writer provide enough information that (s)he proves credibility? • Is this credibility reworded class notes, direct class notes, or new information (cited properly?)? Mark this within the margins.

21. Step Four: Content Understanding • Read the final two paragraphs. • Did the writer express ideas that create new ideas, arguments, or directions of study? Or does the writer simply reword class notes, use direct class notes, class conversations, or did the writer express original ideas? Mark this in the margins.

22. Step Four: Content Understanding • Do all three paragraphs have some sort of running theme, or an idea that is crossed over from paragraph to paragraph? Or does each paragraph exist individually?

23. Content Understanding 0 = Student provides no understanding of text or topic. 1-2 = Student directly restates class notes or rewords them, displaying very little understanding. 3-4 = Student rewords class notes or discussions displaying some understanding, but insufficient original ideas. 5-6 = Student introduces new ideas with evidence and interpretation to justify the content. Sufficiently supported. The paragraphs/ideas build into each other to form a theme. 7-8 = Student introduces new ideas with evidence and interpretation to justify the content. Substantially supported. The paragraphs/ideas build into each other to form a theme. 9-10 = The student introduces new ideas, concepts, or themes, that expand the content knowledge of the text. The argument is perceptively supported through evidence and interpretation, thematically builds displaying a superior understanding of topic.