Reaching Beyond Abuse

1. Reaching Beyond Abuse Strategies for Identifying & Helping Abused Youth Presented by: Margaret (Peggy) Ford, M. Ed.

2. What is Abuse inflicts or allows to be inflicted upon the child physical or mental injury or engages in acts or omissions which present a substantial risk of physical or mental injury to the child, including injuries sustained as a result of excessive corporal punishment, but excluding corporal punishment or physical discipline which is administered by a parent, is for correction, and is moderate in degree.

3. What is Neglect • fails to supply the child with adequate food, clothing, shelter, or education as required under Article 1 of Chapter 65 of Title 59, supervision appropriate to the child’s age and development, or health care though financially able to do so or offered financial or other reasonable means to do so and the failure to do so has caused or presents a substantial risk of causing physical or mental injury.

4. What is Sexual Abuse • commits or allows to be committed against the child a sexual offense as defined by the laws of this State or engages in acts or omissions that present a substantial risk that a sexual offense as defined in the laws of this State would be committed against the child

5. Signs, Symptoms, Effects • Delays in any of the developmental domains • Has more receptive language skills than expressive language skills • Easily upset, moody, or fearful • Bathroom fears or strange habits • Extremely angry outbursts • Spaces out or daydreams • Short attention span

6. Signs, Symptoms, Effects • Toileting accidents • Fearless • Withdrawn and quiet • Aggressive and testing rules • Unable to make or keep friends • Depression or numb emotions • Sexualized play, talk, drawings • Sexually aggressive

7. Resulting Behaviors by Teens • Difficulties learning in school • Difficulties peer relationships • Socially inappropriate for their age • Increased delinquent behaviors • Seeks affection inappropriately • Withdraws from affection • Withdrawn or depressed • Self-Destructive • Angry or acting out behaviors • Increased number of sexual partners

8. More teen behaviors • Self-destructive • Self-mutilating behavior • Toileting or hygiene issues • Eating disorders • Suicidal behaviors • Running away

9. Research • “Chronic stress sensitizes neural pathways and over-develops certain regions of the brain involved in anxiety and fear responses.” -- Perry, B.D. (1997) • “Maltreatment is a chisel that shapes a brain to contend with strife, but at the cost of deep, enduring wounds.”                -- Teicher, M. (2000)

10. “Jamaica & Me” by Linda Atkins “It’s not always what you do, but it’s what you have to undo that’s so hard.”

11. What Needs Un-doing • Fear • Anxiety • Lack of Safety • Chaos • Instability • Rage • Isolation • Powerlessness • Self-blame • Breach of body

12. Strategies to Increase Safety • Schedules • Rituals • Rules • Predictability • Transitions • Choices • Empowerment • Alarms

13. Strategies to Decrease Anxiety • Calm voices • Rituals • Structure • Consistent limits • Deep breathing • Choices • Transitions • Nurturing • Soft music • Normalizing events

14. Strategies to Increase Trust • Follow the rules • Use “I” messages • Repetition • Reflective listening • Connecting time • Attachment • Match pace • Do what you say and say what you do.

15. Strategies to aid Self-Regulation • Non-corporal discipline • Enforce limits • Self time-out • Give choices • Affirm feelings • Anger management • Sensory activities • Sports • Yoga-body movement

16. Strategies to Reinforce Boundaries • Teach the rules • Written rules • Firm limits • Leadership responsibility • Visual cues • Model respect for boundaries • Contracts

17. Research Again • “Children raised in the vortex of violence have learned that non-verbal information in more important than verbal.” -- Perry, B.D. (2002)

18. Attachment • Touching • Rocking • Eye contact • Movement and physical closeness • Any activity that encourages reciprocity • Communicate your care daily • Share special times or make regular times special • Respect their unique ideas & opinions • Model & teach courtesy, kindness, thoughtfulness, & forgiveness.

19. Schedule • Analyze Your Day • Brainstorm What You Want • Write It Down • Follow the Schedule for a Week • Tweak the Schedule

20. Rules • Discuss the “why” of the rule. • Discuss how every family is different. • Keep them simple. • Follow through. • Rules are for everyone. • Follow rules not directions.

21. Quick Discipline Techniques • When you state rules, make eye contact • Find your firm voice • Use natural consequences • Use when – then for logical consequences • Use planned ignoring • Stop Talking • Use Humor

22. “I” Messages • "I" statements do not judge, blame, threaten, put down or try to control others • "I" statement shows you are taking responsibility for your emotions • "I feel (your emotions) when (under what conditions)."

23. She needs you