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The Spin Room. Revising your poetry…. The Spin Room…. Where the Ordinary becomes the EXTRAordinary … What Do Poets Decide to Revise? Poets try to be specific and concrete Poets try to use imagery & figurative language Poets hear the music & meter of their writing.
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The Spin Room Revising your poetry…
The Spin Room… Where the Ordinary becomes the EXTRAordinary… What Do Poets Decide to Revise? • Poets try to be specific and concrete • Poets try to use imagery & figurative language • Poets hear the music & meter of their writing
Poets try to be specific and concrete By naming names: By balancing abstract ideas with concrete concepts: comfort/sizzling fire poverty/cardboard boxes • “red maple” instead of tree • “golden retriever” instead of dog • “minivan” instead of car
Poets try to use imagery & figurative language Personification! Simile! Memorials, History, Leadership, Wonder have left these people behind Like she’s just a bunch of borrowed parts stitched together. Metaphor! Their education, his gift, for a brighter peace-filled generation. Imagery! they peek inside at possibility
Poets hear the music & meter of their writing • Rhyme • Alliteration, consonance, assonance boxes, bridge homeless, hovering • Line length (short lines slow the reading down; long lines build momentum) How to describe underprivileged, deprivation, desperation? How to explain the lives of the poor? How to describe underprivileged? deprivation? desperation? How to explain the lives of the poor?
SPIN IT!! • Poets try to be specific and concrete • Poets try to use imagery & figurative language • Poets hear the music & meter of their writing You try it now!!
How else do poets revise? • Poets try to transform ordinary language into poetic language • Poets use at least one of their revision read-through to JUST look at precise & powerful word choices • Poets look for treasure in discarded drafts
Ordinary Language The students kept shouting out to contribute more ideas. When I get to school early, the classroom is quiet. When I draw, I make pictures of castles and dragons. Poetic Language Ideas popcorned about the classroom. When I get to school early, I tiptoe into the sleeping classroom. Castles and dragons live in my colored pens. Poets try to transform ordinary language into poetic language
Goldfish have gold and silver scales. They swim and hide away under green weeds. But fat brown snails stick to the bowl and stay. Goldfish flash gold and silver scales. They flick and slip away under green weed. But round brown snails stick to the glass and stay. Poets use at least one of their revision read-throughs to JUST look at precise & powerful word choices.
SPIN IT!! • transform ordinary language into poetic language!! • look at precise & powerful word choices!! • look for treasure in discarded drafts!! Ideas popcorned about the classroom. VERBS!! Specific nouns... rainbows of color sun and shadows
The Spin Room Revising your poetry…
DON’T FORGET!!! What’s the POINT?? What’s the BIG IDEA?? What’s your POIGNANT MESSAGE?? REMEMBER: Poets convey BIG MEANING in a small amount of words… Have you done this??? How???
In Gram’s Backyard In Gram’s backyard, the weeping willow stands, Branches twist and tangle around the trunk surrounding Michael and me with strong arms. The little girls can’t find us here, our perfect hideaway, But through the weeping willow, I can see Gram’s face. Her head is bent and wisps of white catch the sun and shadows. With hands full of tree sap, Michael and I whisper and wink to each other as the little girls cry out looking for us. They trudge through the rainbows of color in Gram’s flower gardens – Pinks… Reds… Yellows… Lavenders… Crushing the petals underneath while we giggle with glee in our hideaway.
“Snack time!” Gram’s voice suddenly echoes through the branches, and we swing and climb and clamber to the porch. Fudge stripe cookies, Pepsi in glass bottles, Treats we are allowed only here, with Mom away. We lean in to thank Gram with a hug. She envelops all four of us at once, strong powerful arms twist and tangle us together. Her gnarled fingers squeeze us tight, and we laugh. Hands full of tree sap and hearts full of love, we are safe and loved in Gram’s backyard. Wrapped in Weeping Willow Warmth.
What have we tried? • We have tried to be specific and concrete • We have tried to use imagery & figurative language • We have tried to hear the music & meter of their writing • We have tried to transform ordinary language into poetic language • We have used at least one of their revision read-through to JUST look at precise & powerful word choices • We have looked for treasure in discarded drafts • We have NOT FORGOTTEN the BIG MESSAGE!! Double check your drafts and PERFECT them!!