Creating Respectful Relationships

1. Creating Respectful Relationships

2. Presented By

3. What do you think sexual harassment is?

4. Examples of Sexually Harassing Behavior… • Someone pinching you. • A group of boys or girls following you down the hall everyday from class to class. • Someone calling you sexually explicit names. • Overhearing a group of people whispering when you walk by. • Someone saying to you, “You look great in that outfit.” • Your name and phone number written on the bathroom wall. • Someone asking if you are attracted to them. • Someone posting your picture online without your permission.

5. Two key words in sexual harassment are: unwelcome and repeated. The target and the source can be any gender and any age.

6. Types of Sexual Harassment • Verbal or Written • Physical

7. Verbal or Written Sexual Harassment Includes: Boasting about sexual experience Comments about someone’s body or appearance Can happen in person, online or on a cell phone. Comments about someone’s sexual orientation Jokes of a sexual nature or explicit noises Sexual advances or suggestions Sexual graffiti Showing offensive pictures Rumors or threats Objectifying someone Rating someone on a scale

8. Physical Sexual Harassment Includes: Cornering someone No unwanted behavior is acceptable. Gestures Grabbing or touching Intentionally brushing up against a person’s body Pulling on someone’s clothes Pinching or smacking

9. Sexual Harassment vs. Sexual Misconduct Neither are tolerated in schools.

10. Quid Pro Quo Harassment • Quid pro quo means “this for that”. • A person offers you a favor in return for something that makes you feel uncomfortable. • This person may or may not be in a position of power. • They may also threaten to take something away. • No matter what they say, it would never be your fault if you engage in this behavior.

11. Flirting vs. Sexual Harassment

12. What to Remember about Flirting • Flirting is always: • Wanted • Two-sided • Legal • Sexual harassment is always: • Unwanted • Power motivated • Illegal

13. How do you know your behavior is unwelcome? • Ask yourself: • Would I behave this way if anyone was watching? • Have I been asked not to repeat this behavior by anyone? • Has this person said “no” once? • Would I want someone to behave this way towards me? • Would I like it if someone made these comments about anyone else? The recipient always gets to decide whether or not they welcome your behavior.

14. You get to decide what you are comfortable with. Youcan change your mind at any time.

15. What can I do if I encounter sexual harassment? Use the method. STOP

16. S ource • The SOURCE of the behavior has the responsibility to stop it. • Use the “eye of the beholder” standard. • The decision of whether or not the behavior is wanted is ALWAYS made by the recipient.

17. T arget • The TARGET, recipient, must remove him/her self of the situation • The target has a right to confront the source(s) of the harassment. • Let others know that their words or actions are offensive. • The target must tell a person in authority about the incident.

18. O bserver • Those who OBSERVE the behavior also has a responsibility to help make it stop. • This is always reporting, never tattling.

19. P erson in Authority • Alert a PERSON IN AUTHORITY of the situation. • Never assume they know what is going on. • People in authority are required by law to listen to you, believe you and to get you the help that you need. • If that person doesn’t help you, tell someone else.

20. Remember… S ource arget bserver erson in Authority T O P

21. It would never be your fault.

22. Summary • Sexual harassment can be verbal, written or physical. • Two key words are: unwelcome and repeated. • The target and the source can be any gender and any age. • Neither sexual harassment nor sexual misconduct are tolerated in schools. • Flirting is okay at appropriate times and locations. • Consider your actions before you take them. • You get to decide what you are comfortable with. • You can change your mind at any time. • If you encounter sexual harassment, use the STOP method. • Remember, it would never be your fault.

23. References • A Student’s Guide to Sexual Harassment. Wyoming Council for Women’s Issues: 1994 • Addressing Sexual Harassment with Teens." Building Health Relationships Across Virginia. 157-85. Print. • “Equal Right Advocates: Sexual Harassment at School." ERA: Welcome. Web. 19 May 2011. <http://www.equalrights.org/publications/kyr/shschool.asp>. • Forgarty, Katy. "Teens and Sexual Harassment | Education.com.“ Teens and Sexual Harassment. University of Florida IFAS Extension. Web. 28 June 2011. <http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Teens_Sexual/>. • Parker-pope, Tara. "Sexual Harassment at School - NYTimes.com." Health and Wellness - Well Blog - NYTimes.com. Web. 2 July 2011. <http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/05/01/sexual-harassment-at- school/>. • "Sexual Harassment." Sexual Harassment. Palo Alto Medical Foundation. Web. 19 May 2011. <http://myrin.ursinus.edu/help/resrch_guides/cit_style_mla.htm# one>.