Creating Healthy Relationships

1. Creating Healthy Relationships Now that I understand my past, what can I do about my future?

2. Two Ways of Thinking 1. EITHER OR THINKING or FREEDOM LOVE

3. Two Ways of Thinking 2. BOTH/AND THINKING LOVE FREEDOM

4. How can I meet someone? Propinquity Neighbors Classmates Friends of friends Family contacts Work Leisure activities Religious activities Hobbies

5. How do people choose partners? Physical attractiveness Similarity in age Similarity in religion Race Socioeconomic status Note: A 1989 study (Sheppard & Strathman) found that shorter women and taller men were preferred. Males tend to prefer women shorter than themselves, and women tend to date taller men, but they don’t rate them as more attractive.

6. What about young relationships? A variety of studies have revealed that “early marriage and early sexual involvement are serious problems in terms of the individual’s ability to achieve a satisfying career, obtain relationship goals, and avoid deviant behavior.” Sideman, Mosher, & Aral, 1989; Whitbeck, Conger, Sions & Kay, 1993

7. What about sex? • The younger you date, and the more frequently you date, the more likely you will engage in sexual intercourse. • The influence of hormones has a stronger impact on males’ sexual activities, while social factors are more relevant for females.

8. More sexual factoids

9. Living Together 60% of couples who live together get married. Couples who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce and experience unhappiness in marriage. Why???? Perhaps it is the lack of commitment. Problems are first worked out in a commitment-free relationship.