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The Art of Friendly Persuasion. J. Suzanna Laurent Associate Fellow STC First Vice President Director-Sponsor Region 5 Bylaws Committee Manager 120 Sessions, Programs, Workshops 35 Leadership Articles Published Region 5 Conference Manager
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The Art of Friendly Persuasion
J. Suzanna Laurent Associate Fellow STC First Vice President Director-Sponsor Region 5 Bylaws Committee Manager 120 Sessions, Programs, Workshops 35 Leadership Articles Published Region 5 Conference Manager Distinguished Chapter Service Award Oklahoma Chapter Achievement Award ABWA Top Ten Business Woman of U.S.
Our Agenda Today • What is influencing and why does it matter? • Do you have high Emotional Intelligence (EQ)? • Evaluating your influencing style and what it means • Push and pull levers
Whatis influencing,and whydoes itmatter?
What is influencing? Successful influencing means:Getting a result that meets the legitimateneeds of both sides!
What is influencing? • Consider these situations: • Asking a boss for a raise • Presenting your side of the story • Dealing with a team member who is underperforming • Persuading a colleague to accept your ideas
Why does influencing matter? • Because organizations are manageddifferently now!
How is management different? • The middle manager disappeared • Lean is mean • The rise of the customer • Working across organizations • The death of authority
Control is pointless Leadership in modern, successful organizations is about persuading, not about telling people what to do or giving orders
Influencing and Emotional Intelligence (EQ) What makes outstanding performers?A study done by the Bell Labs“think tank” at Princeton
How do you know when your influencing is successful? It meets the legitimate needs ofboth sides It gets results that stick!
What is YOUR typical influencingstyle?
Typical influencing styles Style A: Dominance Style B: Partnership Style C: Others First Style D: Bargaining Style E: Withdrawing
Style A: Dominance Put your own needs first and take less heed of the needs of others It means speaking up, for example, for a cause that you support Let others know where you stand Use when there isn’t time for debate
Style B: Partnership Place a high value on collaborative approach Outcome meets the needs of all sides Listen to other views Creates long-term relationships Goals defined and important to both
Style C: Others first Place the needs of others high Lose-win style Helps develop other’s confidence Unselfishness in preserving relationship Does not involve deeply held values Creates harmony
Style D: Bargaining Compromise style, give and take Usually a short-term relationship Goals may be unclear 1970s industrial relations—neither side can identify common ground Style for a natural troubleshooter
Style E: Withdrawing Danger in making hasty decision without enough information Able to raise doubts about any proposed solution May see dangers others don’t see Style for naturally cautious influencer
How can you improve your influencing skills? • We can tame the savage • “persuasion beast,” • but like a jungle safari, • that change can be scary!
The “pull” skills of influencing Creating rapport Genuine listening Asking questions
Creating rapport Body language says it all Negative Positive Mismatching and matching the other person
Genuine listening Put your effort into understanding the other person first Be prepared to be influenced before you try to influence the other person
Asking questions Lots of questions Open-ended questions Closed questions
The “push” skills of influencing Asking for what you want Saying “no” when appropriate Giving feedback
Asking for what you want Formula for making requests Use the person’s name State your request in a straight- forward manner, using the word “I” Explain why you want it
Asking for what you want Formula for making requests, cont’d. • Invite their comments and solutions • Ask what resources are needed to make the request happen • Agree on the length of time
Saying “no” when appropriate Formula for saying “no” Acknowledge the person’s right to make the request Say “no” straightforwardly Explain your feelings; then give your reasons Suggest an alternative
Giving feedback Feedback is not the same as criticism Giving effective feedback
Receiving feedback To be effective at giving feedback, you must also know how to receive feedback well
Let’s reviewYOUR questions
Resources Golden influencing tips on what to do and NOT to do Reading list
Amanda Bradley Within our reach lies every path we ever dream of taking. Within our power lies every step we ever dream of making. Within our range lies every joy we ever dream of seeing, andWithin ourselves lies everything we ever dream of being.